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[Bird mama]

@beach-mom   It's overwhelming without a doubt.  I felt my sister's presence near me from the day that she died through Easter Sunday.  I literally felt her 'disconnect' from me the Monday following Easter Sunday.  From the day that she died through Easter Sunday, I talked (out loud) to her every day as I looked through possessions.  I also spoke to my mother and father because Mom's beautiful kitchen table set and some of Dad's tools with be donated.  

It was important for me to speak out loud to anyone listening (lol) that I valued that they valued their possessions.  I needed them to understand that I would be donating 95% of what of the house's contents because I simply didn't have the room to haul it over here to my house.  I assured them that the charities would be thoughtfully chosen and that their items would benefit so many people.

Deciding what to do with a loved one's possessions is far more emotional for me than deciding what to do with my own.  I've been twisted inside out since my sister died so I figured heck, just do your house too.

[Bird mama]

@jackthebear  I love freecycle.

[webbgarner1]

@JeanLouiseFinch  From what i have seen most "kids" do not have any interest in most of the things Mom and Dad have collected. There may be a sentimental piece or two or some few items of monetary value, but most items are not wanted and are donated or sold at yard sale, estate sale, ebay or trashed. You are being considerate, good for you. Just because mom and dad have attachments to inanimate objects does not mean their sons, daughters and grands do.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

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@webbgarner1 wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch  From what i have seen most "kids" do not have any interest in most of the things Mom and Dad have collected. There may be a sentimental piece or two or some few items of monetary value, but most items are not wanted and are donated or sold at yard sale, estate sale, ebay or trashed. You are being considerate, good for you. Just because mom and dad have attachments to inanimate objects does not mean their sons, daughters and grands do.

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Thank you, @webbgarner1.  I agree with you.  As an example, where I have always appreciated a nicely set table with pretty dishes and decorative linens, our adult children are all content with basic function.  Paper is fine with them, even often preferred.  When ours were young I often purchased certain things with intention, envisioning all of our kids using them with the same sentimental attachment I held.  It's not happening.   I hate to think of all the $$$$ wasted but what's done is done.  In recent years I've come around to their way of thinking.  Easter dinner, Thanksgiving dinner, and Christmas have all been consumed from pretty paper platters and matching napkins (my mom may have rolled over in her grave a few times) - LOL.  They all have one last shot to claim our Christmas sets, and Waterford stemware. Otherwise it's getting packed and delivered to to resale shop.  I dont even want to be bothered with a garage sale or listing on Marketplace.  

[beach-mom]

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@Bird mama wrote:

@beach-mom   It's overwhelming without a doubt.  I felt my sister's presence near me from the day that she died through Easter Sunday.  I literally felt her 'disconnect' from me the Monday following Easter Sunday.  From the day that she died through Easter Sunday, I talked (out loud) to her every day as I looked through possessions.  I also spoke to my mother and father because Mom's beautiful kitchen table set and some of Dad's tools with be donated.  

It was important for me to speak out loud to anyone listening (lol) that I valued that they valued their possessions.  I needed them to understand that I would be donating 95% of what of the house's contents because I simply didn't have the room to haul it over here to my house.  I assured them that the charities would be thoughtfully chosen and that their items would benefit so many people.

Deciding what to do with a loved one's possessions is far more emotional for me than deciding what to do with my own.  I've been twisted inside out since my sister died so I figured heck, just do your house too.

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@Bird mama - What a perfect way to do this! And I plan to do the same thing. The Bible says, in Matthew, not to store up treasures on earth. But it's hard when we look at our treasures and see our families. 

When my grandmother died I asked for her corner cupboard. My grandfather had had the dining room set made for her for their wedding. I got it, but they also gave me everything in it! (My single male cousin took the table and chairs.) Then my mom and my aunt went through every object telling me the history and how I don't want to get rid of it because it's a family heirloom. 

I'm going to be like Scarlett and think about it later!  

(I miss our discussions on the Carolyn Pollack forum!) 

[sandy53]

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@santorini wrote:

I might be the only one but I have never heard that term used before.  I saw "Swedish Death Cleaning" and thought I was going to read about a horrific incident in Sweden where they were euthanizing senior citizens.    Glad to know that's not the case.

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Swedish Death Cleaning is the title of a very good book by Margareta Magnusson.  It's worth reading.  I think her best advice is not to start with photos.  She says do everything else first because photos are so difficult and overwhelming.  

I could easily do death cleaning, but I live with my husband (who I love very much) who has lots of trouble getting rid of stuff.  So I guess it's half-death-cleaning.  

[rnmom]

@JeanLouiseFinch - If you care to join us we have an ongoing Declutter thread, also here in the home forum, that has a wonderful group of ladies who are working to declutter, pare down and streamline their homes. We would love to hear what you are doing if you would like to share with us!

[rnmom]

Anyone else who would like to join us on the Declutter: What Have You Purged Today? thread please join us! 

[JeanLouiseFinch]

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@rnmom wrote:

@JeanLouiseFinch - If you care to join us we have an ongoing Declutter thread, also here in the home forum, that has a wonderful group of ladies who are working to declutter, pare down and streamline their homes. We would love to hear what you are doing if you would like to share with us!

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Thanks for the invite, @rnmom. Maybe I'll chime in sometime. 😊