@Kachina624 wrote:
@MominohioI have two nieces, both educated professionals, who have absolutely no interest in serving formal family meals on holidays and special occasions. From what I've seen, they wouldn't have a clue how to do it and they're unaware of how their holiday meals look more like a picnic.
When my dad and I were disassembling his house after mom died, we had her Rogers Bros. 1847 silver plate flatware and couldn't find a single person who wanted it. My sister and I have our own and nieces weren't interested. When moving time was immenient and we still hadn't found a home for it, dad put it in its handsome wooden box out on the curb with some other things and a sign, "Free, Help Yourself". Talk about sad...mom's treasured flatware at the curb; dad and I both wanted to cry. It disappeared so I hope somebody is loving it.
@Kachina624 wrote:
@MominohioI have two nieces, both educated professionals, who have absolutely no interest in serving formal family meals on holidays and special occasions. From what I've seen, they wouldn't have a clue how to do it and they're unaware of how their holiday meals look more like a picnic.
When my dad and I were disassembling his house after mom died, we had her Rogers Bros. 1847 silver plate flatware and couldn't find a single person who wanted it. My sister and I have our own and nieces weren't interested. When moving time was immenient and we still hadn't found a home for it, dad put it in its handsome wooden box out on the curb with some other things and a sign, "Free, Help Yourself". Talk about sad...mom's treasured flatware at the curb; dad and I both wanted to cry. It disappeared so I hope somebody is loving it.
@Kachina624
I could cry right with you and your dad.
People will scold, that they are only things, and things aren't important, people and experiences and memories are.
But so many memories are built around 'things' especially when you connect those things to food/meals/events in our lives.
Every social situation (weddings, funerals, birthdays, holidays by the score, graduations, reunions....) center around food and it used to be, the presentation of that food.
When people sit at more formal settings they tend to slow down, connect, enjoy and embrace not only each other but the setting as well.
I love the picnic style, paper plate get together, where everyone mingles inside and out, balancing food on their knee or sitting where ever they can find a spot, as much as anyone else does, getting to visit and move around to different conversations, and be more informal. I love all the pretty paper plates and accessories for every season, and they have their place.
But just once or twice a year at the very least (I personally do it more often), I want to bring out things with a history, with a tradition in our family. Things that when others look at, handle and touch, remind them of past events, past people in our lives, strikes up conversations about those people and those times.
And yes, it is about me. It is about what I want to remember and cherish. It is about what I find beautiful and meaningful. It is about one way I attempt to relive and revive those experiences and feelings from the past, and not only for myself, but to do my part in passing down the legacy, the history, and the connectedness that each new generation deserves to get from their family and that each older generation has some responsibility to impart.
Does it have to be done with family heirloom silver or china? No, it doesn't. But what a beautiful way to enhance the transferring of knowledge, love and history.
I can only hope someone picked up your mother's silver, and took it home and started new traditions with it. I don't think I could have done what you did, it would have broken my heart, if my mother had treasured the silver. I would probably be tripping over that box for the rest of my life, even if I didn't want or need it.
My mom is 81 and I ponder sometimes what I have ahead of me in cleaning out her home should something happen. There is so much there that goes back my entire life, and many memories attached to those things. But I, like you, will have to pick and choose which memories mean the most and what things hold those memories. It is hard to process in times of transition and one thing I think helps is if people try to pass on some of their special things while they are still living.
I had a great aunt that did this to some extent, and my mom has done some of it as well. I have had my mom's silver plate flatware for many years now, and I use it several times a year. I would get it out more often, but where I store it is slightly inconvenient.
One of my goals this winter with my annual clean out, is to make space for it in a place that it is as easily accessed as my every day flatware. I not only want to have things like this, I want to use them more often, and make using them easy. I think one reason people don't use some of their nicer things from the past is that they simply aren't easy to get to. They can be boxed up in the basement, attic or garage, or they can be at the bottom of a closet and require too much time, mess, and effort to get to and to put back.
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