Silver Sadness

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

My husband goes to a lot of estate auctions, and buys scrap metal for recycling. In doing so, he comes across silver plated flatware quite often. Sometimes whole sets, sometimes just individual pieces.

He brought home a box this weekend, and I went through it, as I usually do, look up the patterns, and see if any of it might bring some money on ebay.

The results are usually the same, pretty flatware, in elegant and dainty old patterns worth relatively nothing for all it's years of service and enjoyment.

I know it is stated on these forums all the time, that today's younger generations want little to none of this, and so be it. But I still find in incredibly sad that we may have a generation (or more) grow up with never experiencing having a formal family dining experience, with the best tablecloth mom or grandma has, the best dishes, the pretty silver, much of it passed down from one generation to the next, often with a sweet story of how it was gifted, or how long a couple saved to be able to afford it.

To me, it is more than just flatware. It is tradition, it is elegance, it is beauty, it is history. It is a part of the experience of gathering together multiple generations to break bread, experience fellowship, share love, and pass on their traditions.

Is it the biggest sadness in today's world? Certainly not, but I do get sad seeing things with such history not only no longer finding a place in the family that enjoyed it for so long, but rarely anyone excited to give it a new home and start their traditions with it.

culebra · ‎03-11-2010

@Mominohio

I agree with you. A lot of young people when they marry do not even bother to register for nice china, crystal. I always think - they do not know where life will take them. Granted I do not use mine often, but I like when necessary, to be able to set a grand table for dinner parties.

jewel3 · ‎03-13-2010

My daughter did not register for china, crystal or silver flatware. I am so over dinner parties and now much prefer smaller, slow, casual dinners with a few friends and good wine. I gave her my china for Christmas 10 years into her marriage when they were settled into their larger permanent home and her children are old enough so that she can enjoy her own dinner parties. She is delighted and uses it with her beautiful contemporary stainless. I do still use my sterling flatware and she is far too busy to keep it polished but maybe in a few years she will want it and it can move from my home to hers. Her everyday dishes are lovely simple porcelain that would be beautiful with sterling flatware.

Perhaps that lovely old silverplate, if it is in good condition, could find a loving new home via eBay.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@Mominohio wrote:
My husband goes to a lot of estate auctions, and buys scrap metal for recycling. In doing so, he comes across silver plated flatware quite often. Sometimes whole sets, sometimes just individual pieces.

He brought home a box this weekend, and I went through it, as I usually do, look up the patterns, and see if any of it might bring some money on ebay.

The results are usually the same, pretty flatware, in elegant and dainty old patterns worth relatively nothing for all it's years of service and enjoyment.

I know it is stated on these forums all the time, that today's younger generations want little to none of this, and so be it. But I still find in incredibly sad that we may have a generation (or more) grow up with never experiencing having a formal family dining experience, with the best tablecloth mom or grandma has, the best dishes, the pretty silver, much of it passed down from one generation to the next, often with a sweet story of how it was gifted, or how long a couple saved to be able to afford it.

To me, it is more than just flatware. It is tradition, it is elegance, it is beauty, it is history. It is a part of the experience of gathering together multiple generations to break bread, experience fellowship, share love, and pass on their traditions.

Is it the biggest sadness in today's world? Certainly not, but I do get sad seeing things with such history not only no longer finding a place in the family that enjoyed it for so long, but rarely anyone excited to give it a new home and start their traditions with it.

I agree, it's truly a shame to see so many traditions fall by the wayside in favor of expedience, practicality and people simply being uninterested in what came before... You wonder if down the road anyone will even know what used to be and what was left behind without giving it a single thought... They'll be able to see it in a museum, but won't be able to experience it and one wonders if they'll care...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@MominohioI have two nieces, both educated professionals, who have absolutely no interest in serving formal family meals on holidays and special occasions. From what I've seen, they wouldn't have a clue how to do it and they're unaware of how their holiday meals look more like a picnic.

When my dad and I were disassembling his house after mom died, we had her Rogers Bros. 1847 silver plate flatware and couldn't find a single person who wanted it. My sister and I have our own and nieces weren't interested. When moving time was immenient and we still hadn't found a home for it, dad put it in its handsome wooden box out on the curb with some other things and a sign, "Free, Help Yourself". Talk about sad...mom's treasured flatware at the curb; dad and I both wanted to cry. It disappeared so I hope somebody is loving it.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Marsha2003 · ‎03-12-2010

@Mominohio I keep thinking that someday the 20-somethings and 30-somethings will want beautifully crafted items from yesteryear like sterling flatware. There are some who appreciate it and love it, but so many give it no value. Considering the focus on recycling, you would think there would be more call for reusing existing dinnerware. No new resources are needed to make it and in general, it's much more durable than most things made today.

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

I collect antiques & primitives, always excited when I find a coin silver spoon to add to my glass spooner. I don't have a dining room so dinners at my house are informal, sold & gave away all my fancy china, glassware & linens as I continue to downsize. I understand only having what you want to use but it does pull at my heartstrings to see grand family framed photos, handmade quilts & Bible's with loads of family history being sold in shops or just thrown away. Tastes change & time moves on so it is what it is.

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

I'm 65 and have never wanted nor did I feel the need to have fine china and flatware! When we have family gatherings, we are informal (no matter whose house we go to) and have so much fun. No need to worry about anything breaking and the atmosphere is just way too stuffy anyway. Who cares if we use melamine, mismatched cheap plates or even paper plates and the flatware doesn't match? No one is trying to impress and seeing people who don't often have a chance to see each other is the important part anyway! I think so many are realizing that now and can't see anyone changing their minds about it. Fancy things are just unnecessary stuff to store or carry around when moving.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I think it is tied in with a loss of respect for others. It's about not wanting to bring out pretty things that people would enjoy. It's like wearing jeans to a funeral or to church.

Wanting to please others, wanting to dress to be respected, it's all becoming a thing of the past. It's a me me me world today and to heck with what you think or think about me.

Doesn't that sort of sum it up? People don't care if they make a good impression or not now. They just don't give a flip about what the world thinks of them. Well, maybe on facebook but not in real life.

DREAMON · ‎03-09-2010

Unfortunately with parents working (some more than 1 job), kids in daycare, etc. most have no time to be polishing silver.

I remember polishing silver with my Mom, getting her China ready for a special dinner, setting the table, ....it was a tradition and one I will never forget.

My DD has my Moms China ( I recently passed it down to her) and she just said a few weeks ago that she can't wait to use it for a special dinner... I am looking forward to seeing it displayed on her table.