I am already upset and Thanksgiving is 2 weeks fro... - Page 3

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

I would tell your brother that you will stay at home with your family.

He is not being thoughtful about your family. Let him do what he wants.

Try a meal in the spring when all can agree. To many children and other issues.

Enjoy the peace in your home.

I burned that bridge over 15 years ago and we are all happy.

Etoile308 · ‎01-04-2014

So your brother and other family members have driven four hours to your house year after year. Perhaps that has been an unspoken burden to them. Seems your brother would like to explore doing something different for a change.

It's only a four hour drive for a once a year event. Stay as long as you want. Leave when you want. But I think especially as we grow older, family time together is important.

Why assume your son is excluded just because he wasn't mentioned? And certainly an adult son can work around his schedule and find his way to meet up family members during this holiday time frame if he actually wants to.

Sounds like you're heading to the NYC tri-state area which is an area spoiled for public transportation. Explore other options if you don't want to drive to see a play.

Sounds like you're looking for reasons not to go and making a mountain out of a molehill. For peace in the family don't we give and take? If there's resistance already the mindset is to already not have a good time.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

Family situations can be very stressful. I get it. It would be nice if everything went smoothly. I think you need to talk to your brother and tell him just how you feel. It's too much for you to have everyone drive and spend the money at a hotel. Plus you just don't want to exclude your son.

I wish I could see my brother. We don't usually get together for Thanksgiving but see one another at least once a year. He lives in the St. Louis area and I'm in the Philly suburbs.

The problem is, his spouse has Lewy Body Dementia. My brother is his caregiver and things have been getting progressively worse. He's constantly hallucinating and I feel so badly for my brother. He's like a prisoner with no life. They are both in their mid sixties and much too young for this to be happening.

I don't know when I will be able to see him.

mnmom · ‎03-10-2010

Does your brother have children? If you have been hosting for 40 years and had them staying for a week, I agree with another poster that he/they may a) not want to travel or b) want to give you a break from hosting.

It sounds like he wants to pay for your hotel and for meals -- that's a win in my book!

If you don't want to stay for 4 days, you could cut back on it and go home and have a late Thanksgiving with your son.

Can you make some other arrangement for other brother so you don't have to drive 100 miles out of your way to get him? (That would bug me too.)

This just sounds like a one year deal. Your son is old enough to make other arrangements. Your brother may be worried about his health or just not feeling well enough for the drive. Maybe he wouldn't mind doing his own Thanksgiving and is inviting you so you won't be offended that they want to stay home this year?

Having just lost a brother quite suddenly, my feelings may reflect that. But honestly, if they have been driving 4 hours every year for 40 years, maybe they'd like to stay home for a holiday too.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I can say from making hundreds of 3-hr there 3-hr back trips that to do it in a day and visit and come back is exhausting no matter what your age. Was for me.

Why can't people do what they want to do on holidays without being wheedled, bullied, shamed and guilted over it all? This has become absurd. It's a meal. It's one day.

It's just a meal. If you care about people you will stay in contact with them, visit occasionally if you can, and let it go at that. So much unnecessary and unkind stress and heartache over so little during the holidays. Bah Humbug!

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

We often have to do a Thanksgiving meal on another day with the kid's schedules. Maybe go see your brother for a shorter visit and celebate thanksgiving at home with your son on another day that works with his schedule or if you absolutely don't want to go, you can use your son as an excuse.

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

Just from past experience my brother has not intention of paying for anything. He and his family stayed with us every holiday. When we went out to eat we paid for all their meals or I cooked meals for them at my house.

He has not seen his son in years. His daughter lives 1,000+ miles away.

He was at the highest tier of pay at the trucking company where he worked. So he isn't having a tough time with money.

I am sure his health issues are generating his plans for Thanksgiving. He was made aware that his days may be limited and he wants to go to a nice resort hotel with his siblings.

Just had a discussion with my son. He said he still doesn't know his schedule but he definitely will be working around Thanksgiving. And he said it doesn't matter to him what day we cook a Thanksgiving meal. So we will just do our family Thanksgiving a few days later. We have to have leftovers.

While we are still upright, talking and walking it will be nice to get together. After reading about brothers that have passed or have serious health issues. I shoud be thankful that we are able to get together. Thanks Ladies - I was being a cranky old sister. I needed an attitude adjustment

spumoni99 · ‎02-16-2019

@drizzellla wrote:
Just from past experience my brother has not intention of paying for anything. He and his family stayed with us every holiday. When we went out to eat we paid for all their meals or I cooked meals for them at my house.

He has not seen his son in years. His daughter lives 1,000+ miles away.

He was at the highest tier of pay at the trucking company where he worked. So he isn't having a tough time with money.

I am sure his health issues are generating his plans for Thanksgiving. He was made aware that his days may be limited and he wants to go to a nice resort hotel with his siblings.

Just had a discussion with my son. He said he still doesn't know his schedule but he definitely will be working around Thanksgiving. And he said it doesn't matter to him what day we cook a Thanksgiving meal. So we will just do our family Thanksgiving a few days later. We have to have leftovers.

While we are still upright, talking and walking it will be nice to get together. After reading about brothers that have passed or have serious health issues. I shoud be thankful that we are able to get together. Thanks Ladies - I was being a cranky old sister. I needed an attitude adjustment

I'm glad you will see your brother, we just lost my brother in law a month ago and we did get together a few months before and I am so thankful we had that time.

cindyNC · ‎08-01-2019

@drizzellla No, you are not being a cranky old lady. It sounds like a major change from years past due to many different circumstances and you are entitled to your feelings about it.

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

My only brother passed 4 years ago. On Thanksgiving, we drove aprox 4 hours to his house and then 4 hours back home the next day. 4 hours, no big deal. Were I you, I would go to my brother's. No need to stay the entire 4 days if you don't want to. Your Son at 32 could easily drive 4 hours there and 4 hours home the next day. If his schedule has him working Thanksgiving day, he could still make a day or two at your brothers if he wanted to.

My granddaughter is in the medical field and often has to work holidays and granddaugher-in-law has a large family that gets together for holidays, so son/daughter have had to schedule around the holidays and times and it works out. Sometimes we had Thanksgiving on the actual day and sometimes the day before or day after depending on grands schedules.