Community Chat

[esmerelda]

What's the "rule of thumb" for giving a wedding gift when not attending the wedding?

A friend is asking about how much to spend, since she won't be attenting.  I told her what I'd read here about cost of gift vs. cost of meal at the reception.  But I don't think I've ever read here about value vs. not going.

Thoughts?

[brii]

Whatever she feels comfortable giving and what she can afford is what her gift should be.  Is she a relative, a friend?

[Lipstickdiva]

Whatever one can afford to give and wants to give.

I've never in my life heard about the "rule" of giving enough to cover the cost of the meal, etc., until I started posting here and don't even get me started on how little sense that makes.  LOL

If I'm not going to attend, if it's a relative or someone very close, I give what I would give had I attended.  If it's someone not that close, I sometimes give half of what I would give if I'd attended.  And if I don't feel I should have been invited at all and it's nothing but a gift grab, I send a card.

[lulu2]

The amount we spend on a wedding gifts depends on our relationship with the couple.  We give the same amount whether or not we attend the wedding.

[Sooner]

So many weddings now are simply a racket.  People spend more money than they can afford on stuff they don't need then want to stick the quests for their over-spending through gifts and CASH.  How tacky.

[KarenQVC]

ALL gifts are voluntary.

[missy1]

Give what you want, and what you can afford. 

[Desertdi]

It was on some "news" station last week, that the "average" couple now spends $25,000 on their wedding..............

[PinkyPetunia]

I don't know of any set rule.  It depends on how well you know the couple getting married. 

[Nancy Drew]

Some people spend a lot of time and planning on a wedding. I wish they put more effort into the marriage and not the one day party. Divorce rate is high IMO. When we have the term "starter marriage" it's a problem.