Re: update on my highly sensitive co-worker

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

On 3/21/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/21/2015 Plaid Pants said:
If someone flips out over a friendly tap on the shoulder, what do they do when someone accidentally bumps in to them? Have a melt-down?

There is nothing wrong with a friendly "excuse me" tap.

That's not invading someones "personal space".

I'll even put my hand on someones back, to let them know that I am behind them.

Horrors!

Have me arrested!

In MY case, my "highly sensitive" co-worker (who had never told us she had this condition - she actually told us afterward it was due to being bi-polar and off her meds) was screaming at a client on the phone and was threatening the woman with getting her fired.

She DID try to get a restraining order and DID go to a lawyer to sue me...but no one is going to get arrested for a tap or even have a civil case.

Exactly.

adelle38 · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/21/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/21/2015 adelle38 said:
First of all, I never said there was abuse during the incident.

Second, you are inferring that I was abused when I was merely saying that people who have a history of abuse can find any type of touching by a relative stranger as threatening even if you perceive it as a "friendly gesture".

Third, to get back to your original story, every HR person I know has stressed that it's never OK to touch someone in the workplace without their consent no matter what your intentions may be.

Sorry, but HR, the police and the personal injury lawyer she attempted to hire all sided with me - the "tapper" - over the screaming, out of control, threatening worker who I tapped (ONCE) on the shoulder to let her know I was sliding a note in front of her, in an effort to stop her unprofessional, embarrassing rant.

She was fired.

I wouldn't expect the police to arrest someone for tapping someone on the shoulder. Your coworker was out of control and her behavior got her fired. However, your tapping her on the shoulder only escalated her behavior. It didn't stop her "unprofessional, embarrassing rant." Just because she behaved badly, doesn't mean your decision to touch her was wise or acceptable.

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

On 3/21/2015 adelle38 said:
I wouldn't expect the police to arrest someone for tapping someone on the shoulder. Your coworker was out of control and her behavior got her fired. However, your tapping her on the shoulder only escalated her behavior. It didn't stop her "unprofessional, embarrassing rant." Just because she behaved badly, doesn't mean your decision to touch her was wise or acceptable.

It did stop her rant and get her off the phone. It was the only thing that worked and got her attention. As the senior person in the room, I stepped in and got her off the call.

I was praised for the way I handled the situation by my manager and by HR, especially in light of how she turned on me and threatened me with a civil law suit.

Why are you so invested in trying to make me out to be the "bad guy"? You weren't there...

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

On 3/21/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/21/2015 adelle38 said:
I wouldn't expect the police to arrest someone for tapping someone on the shoulder. Your coworker was out of control and her behavior got her fired. However, your tapping her on the shoulder only escalated her behavior. It didn't stop her "unprofessional, embarrassing rant." Just because she behaved badly, doesn't mean your decision to touch her was wise or acceptable.

It did stop her rant and get her off the phone. It was the only thing that worked and got her attention. As the senior person in the room, I stepped in and got her off the call.

I was praised for the way I handled the situation by my manager and by HR, especially in light of how she turned on me and threatened me with a civil law suit.

Why are you so invested in trying to make me out to be the "bad guy"? You weren't there...

You did nothing wrong, terrier. A tap on the shoulder is no way considered a "bad touch".

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

I wonder how anyone who is ""highly sensitive"" stays on this forum.........!

You have to have a pretty thick skin to hang out here........

Pashmina_1 · ‎03-17-2015

Why start this thread if you are not going to tell us what provoked this thread in the first place. And yes I read the other thread but that still doesn't explain why you are shaking or calling your union rep.

Jeanhelen57 · ‎03-10-2010

I don't know what the real problem is...but I would want a union rep available...to spell out what is expected and accepted at the work place. An employee can say anything they want--that doesn't mean that will happen! Accommodations can and should be made for a person with a disability--but even still, the person with the disability has to be able to perform their job to company standards. If not--they can't stay..You should be able to be in the same office with a highly-sensitive person and not feel like you are walking on eggshells! The problem is the highly-sensitive person's, not yours!

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

On 3/21/2015 YorkieonmyPillow said:
I wonder how anyone who is "highly sensitive" stays on this forum.........! ${#emotions_dlg.blink}$

You have to have a pretty thick skin to hang out here........

Because, unlike most of what has been said here and on the other thread, being a HSP is NOT primarily about hurt feelings, being easily upset, and trying to get one's own way by claiming to be "highly sensitive." For a genuine HSP it is a lot of other things that have little to do with emotions. And like many disorders, conditions, etc. there are degrees - some are severely affected, some medium, and some not much.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

On 3/20/2015 terrier3 said:
I thought "highly sensitive" meant she couldn't be around perfume and cleaning fluids...

Is this "highly sensitive" as in "easily offended"???

NO, it is NOT. But that's what people who know nothing about it keep trying to turn it into.

beanie never gave much concrete example of what this person said, did or expected. People took what they *thought* she was inferring/alluding to and ran with it, sharing stories of every person they'd ever worked with who was difficult, and it then snowballed into 'there's no such thing as HSP it's just an excuse to get special treatment.' No one wanted to hear what HSP actually is, and still don't.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

SnowPink · ‎09-20-2014

On 3/21/2015 adelle38 said:
I wouldn't expect the police to arrest someone for tapping someone on the shoulder. Your coworker was out of control and her behavior got her fired. However, your tapping her on the shoulder only escalated her behavior. It didn't stop her "unprofessional, embarrassing rant." Just because she behaved badly, doesn't mean your decision to touch her was wise or acceptable.

That's just silly.