"Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean - Page 5

insomniac2 · ‎02-20-2016

If I'd received a "Save the Date," but no invitation, I'd consider myself relieved of the need to send a gift. I wouldn't ask about it; I just wouldn't go. Have a better time doing something else.

NativeJax · ‎01-27-2015

Yet another tacky trend from the entitlement generation. I would use that date to be convienently out of town.

MaggieMack · ‎10-01-2014

If I received a Save the Date notice and no invitation followed, I would ask an appropriate party if I was intended to receive an invitation and not just assume I was cut from the list. It might have been lost in the mail. I receive enough incorrect mail deliveries to know that is a possibility.

Of course, I have been known to call new couples sixty days after a wedding to inquire if they received my gift if no Thank You has been forthcoming.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop

RedHeadedWench · ‎03-21-2010

For me, a "Save the Date" announcement is a way of saying....we're getting married, don't plan anything that weekend, because we're more important than your life....oh yeah, and we want a gift too.

I receive a few of these cards every year, and unless they are someone in our family or that we really care about, we mark it on our calendars. My husband is teacher, and he receives these from many former students, we just can't go to every one. I think we received over 50 last year. Seriously.

It's also another way for printers to make some money. LOL

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

I think it is extremely rude to ask someone to "save" the date - which means not scheduling anything else that might come up on that date - and then not actually inviting them.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

It sounds like they have an A list and a B list and the B listers only get invited if an A lister isn't attending. I would just toss the save the day unless an actual invitation follows. Gift or not as you please but it would certainly not be required.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

I received one for my good friend's daughter and I appreciated it! I kept it on the fridge and it was a reminder to me that I'd have plans. And yes, we did get a formal invitation in the mail. It was a big wedding with a really nice reception. Funny (not so much) she didn't send out thank you cards for gifts.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@151949 wrote:
It sounds like they have an A list and a B list and the B listers only get invited if an A lister isn't attending. I would just toss the save the day unless an actual invitation follows. Gift or not as you please but it would certainly not be required.

So then what it really means is - please don't schedule anything else on this date because if we can't fill the room with those we really want, we'll send you an invite. And since people don't always respond quickly, that invite might be really last minute. So if you haven't heard from us by the day before, it's probably OK for you to go ahead and do something else (if you haven't already turned that down waiting for us to decide)?????

Wow.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

@Isobel Archer wrote:
@151949 wrote:
It sounds like they have an A list and a B list and the B listers only get invited if an A lister isn't attending. I would just toss the save the day unless an actual invitation follows. Gift or not as you please but it would certainly not be required.
So then what it really means is - please don't schedule anything else on this date because if we can't fill the room with those we really want, we'll send you an invite. And since people don't always respond quickly, that invite might be really last minute. So if you haven't heard from us by the day before, it's probably OK for you to go ahead and do something else (if you haven't already turned that down waiting for us to decide)?????

Wow.

I don't think that's it at all. I think it's just more of the whole wedding thing - maybe it's just for larger weddings. We already knew we'd be invited, but this was just a reminder of the date. If the wedding is something you want to attend, then it gives you fair warning. The invitation with all of the details comes later.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

There's a lot of info out there on this.

The main question people ask is: Do you need them?

The answer is usually no. Their main use is to provide extra notice to your guests, which is notably useful for some cases- such as destination weddings. Then why do so many go to the extra expense, you ask? Because, they are fun. Often, Save the Dates allow a more lighthearted tone than you want to go with for your invitations (without the invitation coming out tacky). These Save the Dates can be formal, fun and colorful, or both.

To whom do you send them
&
How many do you need

These two questions relate to each other. You do not need to send Save the Dates to absolutely everyone. Your budget might change, your guest list might change, and, you should not mail out a Save the Date to anyone how will not receive an invitation later. Because of these concerns, you could stick to just the people who need a Save the Date the most- people who are out of town- and, the people you are certain to invite. Because these are informal mailings, you can send one per household, provided that you intend to invite the all of that house hold.