Community Chat

[spiderw]

When my close dear friend passed , her children didn't have a service but chose to have a celebration of life.  They rented a hall and had it catered.  My friend and I were like sisters, very close throughout our fifty five year friendship.  Her son and daughter asked if I would speak at the celebration of life and though it was difficult because I was heart broken, I did agree.  I had so much to say and kept it as light as possible relating stories about our adventures as teens up to adulthood.  All the people who attended listened closely and laughed when I told a funny story about my friend.  When it was over so many people complimented me on my tribute and said how wonderful it was.  That made me feel good in that I had truly honored a friend I loved and  knew she would have approved of all I said!!  

[smoochy]

When my son was killed in a motorcycle crash eight years ago, the word celebration never came up or entered my head. He was 29. We didn't celebrate. A clergyman friend of mine officiated. I didn't have anyone else speak. No one would've been able to keep it together anyway. I was a basket case. A lot of it is a blur. The grief and shock permeated everything. 

[smoochy]

So I think the Celebration of Life deal tends to be used more when the deceased person was elderly, or maybe when the death had been expected, as with a long progressive illness. I don't see it used in sudden violent deaths or with children. Whatever helps the family cope, it's such a personal decision. 

[Cumbercookie13]

We had a celebration of life service for my mom after she passed from breast cancer back in 2019. Before she passed, she made the decision to be cremated and chose the life celebration. I'm so glad she decided on this because even though her death was not unexpected, I don't think we could have coped with a funeral, especially my stepdad. 

Her service was held at our local American Legion per her request. It actually happened the day before her birthday! I think she would have gotten a kick out of that because she celebrated her birthday all week. We had a potluck with people bringing food. My stepdad made opening remarks thanking everyone for coming, and one of her good friends talked about her, and how she loved to shop, go to the beach, and shared some memories. I created a slideshow which my brother hooked up to a TV that showed pictures of her through the years. While there were a few tears, it turned out to be a pretty upbeat evening and we felt so much better afterwards. 

[PhillyGirl23]

Not a fan of depressing funerals! They aren't for the person who passed. They are gone. Go do something that this person loved or gather as a group and celebrate his/her life. Talk about memories together!!! The Quakers do this well!

[on the bay]

I have been to celebration of life for young and elderly. The age or religion or method of burial doesn't matter but like has been said whatever makes those still living feel comfort.

[lgfan]

@pieman 

"The one that gets me the most is when its written "they died peacefully "

Now, unless you pass in your sleep, I have never witnessed anyone die peacefully."

I agree with you.  Even when you pass in your sleep it isn't peaceful.  People experience some sort of pain before they die even if it is in their sleep.

[RedTop]

@lgfan, @pieman 

My grandmother passed in her bed at the personal care home, my dad passed in the hospital, and my in-laws passed in their beds at home, and all left this world as peacefully as you would ever hope to witness.   I have always felt comfort and peace with their last moments.   

I appreciate a more modern approach to final services for loved ones, or the choice to have no service at all that is not highly criticized.   

[lgfan]

@RedTop 

"@lg fan, @piemanct 

My grandmother passed in her bed at the personal care home, my dad passed in the hospital, and my in-laws passed in their beds at home, and all left this world as peacefully as you would ever hope to witness.   I have always felt comfort and peace with their last moments."

I am happy that your family members passed away in peace but it is not always the case with most people.   

[RainCityWoman]

I just went to one in April. This man's death was sudden, catastrophic, and shocking. Worse yet, they still don't know cause of death. He was very involved with people, and was involved in the medical support field where he met and helped many people who needed assistive therapy. The family didn't affiliate with a church, and they didn't want the event to dwell on his death, but rather the richness of his life. There was no church music, no minister, etc. A lifelong friend and the man's son gave the life story and eulogy. Then they opened the floor up to anyone who wanted to relate a story about him.  The only part that was emotional was the slide show at the end of him through his life from birth to raising his own family and the accompanying music. They had it at his alma mater by the stadium where he had season tickets. When I left, instead of feeling overwhelmed with sadness, I felt lifted up and inspired  by what this man had done and all the people he had touched in a too short of time.