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12-18-2016 03:13 PM
@chickenbutt wrote:Staying positive is a constant struggle for me. If somethig is bad, it's bad. I can't put a wig on it and call it ok.
I have a daily struggle to survive, to be perfectly honest. I really don't have any worth anymore. I don't contribute to the world in any meaningful way because I just don't have the tools or the will anymore.
I have been a survivor since I was a little kid who had very bad things happening to her. Honestly, one of the ways I survived the most was just to be numb. Feeling nothing is better than feeling bad.
I go through my days, each no different than the last, and try to find bits of joy in little things that make me smile. I try to keep my mind occupied with things that stimulate it. I don't have a lot of will left, beyond that.
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Well hold on there just a minute, @chickenbutt! What do you mean you have no worth??!! I, for one, would not know what to do if I didn't see your posts and your contributions here on this board anymore!! You have helped many out here and many of us love reading your posts. Not to mention, we look your nic!
I suspect you have far more worth and value than you realize.![]()
12-18-2016 03:14 PM
goldensrbest wrote:@chickenbutt, can we be friends, i feel the same? Just tired of trying.
{{{Goldens}}} You've been so nice to me, although we probably disagree on some big things. I sincerely appreciate it and it means a lot to me. This is true. I don't say things that aren't true.
On the serious side, I understand. I guess that we each are not alone has meaning. It does for me, although I hate to think anybody else feels like I do. You get weary and then just try to keep yourself out of the hole. It's so much easier to abide in the hole. All I have left is when I can laugh, learn, and have a friend. ![]()
Your friend,
CB
12-18-2016 03:15 PM
Burnsite wrote:@chickenbutt, We don't post together often but I so admire your courage and honesty. You're an excellent community member here for sure.
Hang in there, I am sure everyone on the Forums is wishing you well.
Thank You, Burnsite. That means a lot to me. I don't want to make anything all about me. But something made me say what I felt when I opened this thread.
12-18-2016 03:17 PM
The word, and the situation, can be all over the map as far as meaning. I think we all hope to do more than survive (exist). I need food, shelter, medical care and medication, and internet access. I'm retired, and an introvert, so I don't need much else, if anything, to "survive."
If you're speaking to surviving/living through/living out situations - I think the older you get/longer you live, you've seen so much that a lot of what freaks younger people out, you've been there, outlasted that, so you ignore it as much as you can, knowing it won't last forever; this too shall pass. Never been an active activist and don't plan to start marching now.
"It is what it is" can be a trite phrase, but it's also an acknowledgment that sometimes you just have to accept what is without being happy about it but also without beating your head against the wall about it hoping/expecting it to change and letting it control your life.
12-18-2016 03:18 PM
@pitdakota wrote:
Well hold on there just a minute, @chickenbutt! What do you mean you have no worth??!! I, for one, would not know what to do if I didn't see your posts and your contributions here on this board anymore!! You have helped many out here and many of us love reading your posts. Not to mention, we look your nic!
I suspect you have far more worth and value than you realize.
That is very kind. Thank You! One thing that makes me happy about my name here is that it makes people smile. I do love to make people smile!
12-18-2016 03:19 PM
Chickenbutt and goldens you are both still here, and that is a thing to be treasured.
You might be knocked down ,but you are by no means out
12-18-2016 03:21 PM
You are worthwhile.
You are a good friend to me and so many others here. You are intelligent and kind and you give good advice to people who need a little help along the way.
You are funny, I like to kid around with you.
You are a valuable person.
12-18-2016 03:23 PM
@chickenbutt wrote:
@pitdakota wrote:
Well hold on there just a minute, @chickenbutt! What do you mean you have no worth??!! I, for one, would not know what to do if I didn't see your posts and your contributions here on this board anymore!! You have helped many out here and many of us love reading your posts. Not to mention, we look your nic!
I suspect you have far more worth and value than you realize.
That is very kind. Thank You! One thing that makes me happy about my name here is that it makes people smile. I do love to make people smile!
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And you do @chickenbutt. And just think about what an inspiration you are to others that might have a similar background to yours. You are an inspiration to me and I have not ever experienced anything as you have. I am in awe of how not only how you have survived, but your outlook on life and your humor. You go girl!! And I am NOT just saying that.
12-18-2016 03:23 PM - edited 12-18-2016 03:25 PM
@goldensrbest wrote:@chickenbutt, can we be friends, i feel the same? Just tired of trying.
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I would like to be known as your friend, @goldensrbest
I like you and I like to read your posts and see what you have to say.
I understand getting tired of trying ![]()
12-18-2016 03:24 PM
I have to say that at one month from 79 and therefore one year from 80, I still don't know what the hell is going on.
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