here we go again at CBS - Page 9

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
@Hippiified wrote:
@esmerelda

Nope. There are more instances because they think they can do anything they please and get away with it.
@HippiifiedAnd why wouldn't they think that? All of these accusers years and decades later have let them think that.

I haven't read in detail reports of many of the accusations; but I do remember reading one in particular having to do with Charlie Rose.

The accuser wanted a job working with/for him. She went to his place (invited) and "somehow" they ended up in bed. She went home and called him the next day to see if she'd gotten the job. (She hadn't...hence the accusation many years later.) She either wanted the "attention" or didn't mind it because she was still interested in the job and would have taken it if it was offered, I'm sure. So...do you think Charlie Rose thought he could do anything he pleased? At least with her? And how many other stories are similar, I wonder.

I agree. That person did what she did knowingly. Unless and until the culture it will go on. The only way to stop is for women to report it and to not allow it. If there are women who will comply for their job, it will never stop, nor could you expect it to. As I said before, your boss can ask you to cook the books for him and it's your choice. Get fired or go to jail some day. Some things aren't easy nor are they fair, but that's what they are.

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

A while back, I started watching the series Mad Men. In the very first several episodes, and frankly even as the show went on, I was appalled at how the men in the office treated the women. I could not believe that it was that bad and the women just put up with it on a daily basis. I guess they had to.

Years ago I was suddenly and unexpectedly kissed by a man who worked in an office near mine. I was stunned. I walked away and said nothing and avoided him from then on. Years later in a different job, a guy touched my behind several times. He was kind of a friend and I would just move away and laugh it off. I was not, and am not, one to make a big deal about such things. I never felt threatened in any way. But looking back, those actions were so wrong on the part of the men. I would like to think that things have changed with all the media attention on the issue. But I also hope that women never falsely accuse anyone either.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

The Mad Men work environment was real when I started working. Men’s remarks were often rude and lewd. If I had said anything, I’d have been finished professionally. I made it clear on more than one occasion that I was not interested in fooling around. I was assertive but I had to pick my battles. At the time, I felt that one dirty joke was not worth my career.

One of the most appalling aspects of the revelations about some of these men is that their behavior was not 50 years ago but rather more recent...that there are still work environments that place women in a position that many of us faced decades ago. I agree that some behavior is far more egregious than others, but it’s time to stop it!

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@lovesallanimals wrote:
ok, please do not misconstrue what I am about to write, it is just my opinion and it has been bothering me lately. It goes without saying that any kind of abuse, whether physical or mental is wrong and should never be excused or tolerated in any way. However, what bothers me when I read the many stories of the women who have come forward is why they just didn't walk away as soon as they were propositioned. One of the woman from CBS stated that she gave in as she was afraid to lose her job. I am a woman, and a baby boomer. When I worked on Wall St. during the late 60s, into the 70s and 80s it was exactly like Mad Men. I was hit on plenty of times and I just told them NO! and that was the end of it. I can see if you are a woman, maybe have children, no husband, etc. and really need the money but these women could have just walked away and said to h-ll with the job. They were educated women. I always said to my co-workers that I would rather scrub toilets (no shame in being a cleaning woman, it is honest work) than be forced into situations that were not acceptable. It is called self-respect.

Count your lucky stars that you never had that experience. And it has nothing to do with self respect. It has everything to do with intimidation, power, and abuse by men. It's rape which is a crime of hate and power.

A little compassion rather than judgement would be better though. Victim blaming is one reason women don't come forward. Over 70% of rapes and molestations are not reported and that number is considered very low by those who treat and counsel survivors.

In today's society, just as it was 30, 50 or more years ago, women are treated as less-than...obey your husbands, barefoot and pregnant, subservient. Women are often paid less than men and need their jobs to feed, clothe and house their families. They fear losing their income and medical/dental insurance benefits. Among other things....

I was a victim in 1973 and never told anyone until a few months ago. It does a lot of damage to a person. Compassion and support would have helped me (and millions like me) overcome the trauma and survive faster and better.

I am still strong, resilient, and I respect myself. I overcame a lot of odds to have a good career, family, life, and survive the hell of what I went through. Not everyone can do that. I think it's very sad when women judge victims.

seaBreeze · ‎02-04-2014

I watched two of our V.P.'s at work "destroyed" because of "words they spoke to women." My DH is now afraid to even speak or compliment any one at work. Sometimes, it gets to the point of ridiculous.

I have seen the dress code of some in our workplace (for instance, when ladies bend over you can see their "tramp stamp" from their low rise body skimming pants ....I understand that is no excuse for men hitting on women, but our body's hormones were designed that way unfortunately. I think it works "both ways."

Free2be · ‎03-10-2010

@seaBreeze wrote:
I watched two of our V.P.'s at work "destroyed" because of "words they spoke to women." My DH is now afraid to even speak or compliment any one at work. Sometimes, it gets to the point of ridiculous.

I have seen the dress code of some in our workplace (for instance, when ladies bend over you can see their "tramp stamp" from their low rise body skimming pants ....I understand that is no excuse for men hitting on women, but our body's hormones were designed that way unfortunately. I think it works "both ways."

I bolded "tramp stamp" because this is what I'm responding to. A woman gets a tatoo that her lover can read it is used against her this way. Why? I don't think this kind of tatoo is a wise choice but it is her choice. I seriously doubt any woman makes it for a the pleasure of a myriad of males or so she can be labeled a tramp. The label is so utterly demeaning of every woman who has one and they are in the thousands.

Whether there is a tatoo or not, bending over should not expose back-side skin in the workplace, male or female, unless it's an adult entertainment business.

fitfuninformed · ‎10-06-2010

This whole METOO movement, TIME IS UP movment, etc. is absolutely ridiculous - comical actually.

All parties involved, when adults, should act like such - grow up.

ScarletDove · ‎07-11-2010

@lovesallanimals My 20's were during the '60's and I encountered several males at the NIH during my early years '63-'68 who tried to take liberties to which I rebuffed. I married in '64 and was not the kind of female who "allowed" inappropriate behavior or touching and I was not one to "----- my way to the top" like other women did do! If a young woman spoke up regarding inappropriate behavior by a male, we were pushed aside and labeled as a "w----" meaning we started it, clear sex discrimination which was rampant; it was a no-win situation; numerous women have and HAVE NOT been heard. I never reported it, the way I handled it was to tell my husband and change jobs immediately, I had no intention having my reputation ruined by being blamed for starting something or allowing any boss to touch me without my permission so I left several jobs and finally found a great working environment with a WOMAN boss! My father taught me to stand up for myself and protect my personhood and reputation, I thank him for helping me become a strong woman. There were other times I did speak up about "wrong doings" but I will keep this response to the points above!

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@santorini wrote:
I agree that it has gone too far. It's now considered cool to report anyone who ever even tossed a suggestive look your way. I was hit on plenty and never reported it. No one attacked me so no harm, no foul. Nowadays with all of the lawsuits and tv reports, everyone walks around like zombies in offices - afraid to even say "I love your dress" or "you look so pretty today" because God forbid, that may bring about a firing or a lawsuit.

Not one case that I've ever heard of even comes close to involving a man simply looking at a woman suggestively. And this is not about being "hit on". We've all been hit on in one way or another, I would imagine, and simply walked away.

This is way more than that. The issue is s*xual harrassment, and - in many cases - assault. This is about women not speaking up because they knew they would not only not be believed, but that they would be blamed and mocked and threatened and used as an example of what happens when women don't stay quiet. And women who worked hard to get where they were in their careers would have been knocked down to lower-level positions or fired. It's completely understandable to me why speaking up can appear to be not worth it when weighed against what happens to women when they do say something. The "boys will be boys" mentality was very strong years ago, and still exists today.

It's easy to fault women for not speaking up, but it was a different culture even just a few years ago, and the entertainment business can be a whole other world in many ways. It's a highly competitive field, and highly competitive fields are where this kind of behavior is more prevalent.

It's not considered "cool" to report this kind of thing, btw. No one thinks it's cool, and no one wants to be the focus of embarrassing and humiliating questioning or run the risk of being called a liar or of being blamed because her skirt was too short. Coming forward used to be much harder to do than it is today, but it's pretty clear that overall not much has changed.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@bathina wrote:
@goldensrbest wrote:
Men in powerful positions, is there women that do this in a few powerful positions?
It happens. Asia Argento, Anthony Bourdain's girlfriend, and an actress, has recently been accused of taking advantage of a young actor.
The fact is, it happens more with men, because there are more men in places of power than women. As that dynamic changes, we may hear about women abusing their power for sex.

Yes, it does happen to men. And men are far less likely to speak up.