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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,097
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

I find it very disturbing that men are losing their livelihoods and reputations based upon accusations. 

 

If threatening someone with loss of a job resulted in termination, there would be almost no one left in management at my workplace.

 

Witch-huntery, indeed.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,095
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@lovesallanimals wrote:

OK ladies, please stop "ganging up" on me.  Maybe I did not explain it correctly  but I did not mean that anyone should walk away without reporting it.  Of course you should say something, absolutely.  What I was trying to say was that when Weinstein, for example, opens up his hotel room and is standing there naked in his bathrobe and asks you to you know what, I would immediately and I mean immediately get the heck out of there.  I would then report it.  If no one believed me, or if nothing was done at that time and I had to work  with this man, I would find another job.  End of story.  I was propositioned by a very, very, senior guy who was making a fortune for an investment bank I worked in.  They wanted me to work with him as they thought I could handle him (he had a "reputation").  I firmly said no way would I work with him.  My feelings were respected and I wound up working with a terrific guy.  


I sure won't be the one to gang up on you!  Coming out of the 60s70s women's movement era and raised with wolves (three brothers) I was not prone to retreat!  So when a man was out of line, I let them know they had crossed the line and I wasn't interested.  Mid career a superior tried to mess with me.  I let him know that one more time and he would be sorry.  In the moment my self respect was all I was thinking about.  I didn't care who he was.  Somewhere along the way women lost their power.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,156
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Men in powerful positions, is there women that do this in a few powerful positions?

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@puttypiesmom wrote:

Also wanted to say that "walking away" from a good job is not only unfair to the woman but doesn't solve the issue for the next woman who has to put up with it. 


@puttypiesmomIt might if she's honest with TPTB re: why she's leaving.

 

 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@Shawnie wrote:

@lovesallanimals wrote:

OK ladies, please stop "ganging up" on me.  Maybe I did not explain it correctly  but I did not mean that anyone should walk away without reporting it.  Of course you should say something, absolutely.  What I was trying to say was that when Weinstein, for example, opens up his hotel room and is standing there naked in his bathrobe and asks you to you know what, I would immediately and I mean immediately get the heck out of there.  I would then report it.  If no one believed me, or if nothing was done at that time and I had to work  with this man, I would find another job.  End of story.  I was propositioned by a very, very, senior guy who was making a fortune for an investment bank I worked in.  They wanted me to work with him as they thought I could handle him (he had a "reputation").  I firmly said no way would I work with him.  My feelings were respected and I wound up working with a terrific guy.  


I sure won't be the one to gang up on you!  Coming out of the 60s70s women's movement era and raised with wolves (three brothers) I was not prone to retreat!  So when a man was out of line, I let them know they had crossed the line and I wasn't interested.  Mid career a superior tried to mess with me.  I let him know that one more time and he would be sorry.  In the moment my self respect was all I was thinking about.  I didn't care who he was.  Somewhere along the way women lost their power.  


How long since you've worked? Just curious. Also, do you believe that every woman is similarly situated to you? Or are you aware that not every woman has the same spine, the same confidence, the same support mechanisms that you do/did?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@goldensrbest wrote:

Men in powerful positions, is there women that do this in a few powerful positions?


It happens. Asia Argento, Anthony Bourdain's girlfriend, and an actress, has recently been accused of taking advantage of a young actor.

The fact is, it happens more with men, because there are more men in places of power than women. As that dynamic changes, we may hear about women abusing their power for sex.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@bonnielu wrote:

Reading carefully the rest of the answers... reporting immediately might put you out on the street or someone might have listened.  But times are changing.  It is now the IN thing to report.  Then it was risking your job. Cannot really solve this one because choices may be an option that had to be carefully thought out based on the times, sadly


@bonnieluSome of these accurations are current?  I thought they were women coming forward with accusations from years ago? 

 

I think "the final straw" for one of the CBS offenders was someone who was an intern at the time of the unwanted advances and is now a producer.  Staying and accepting the abuse seems to have paid off for her. 

 

I wonder if any of these women see that, with their years-old accusations from when they were little people at the time and are now successfully working at the same place with the same people, they are telling everyone what they willingly did (because they didn't leave) to advance in their careers. 

 

The media version of Hollywood's casting couch?

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@esmerelda you are making the assumption that these women were not promoted based on their qualifications. Are you saying that women who were harassed or assaulted are now in a position of power because they accepted the harassment? No wonder women still have to fight for equality.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@santorini wrote:

I agree that it has gone too far.  It's now considered cool to report anyone who ever even tossed a suggestive look your way.  I was hit on plenty and never reported it.  No one attacked me so no harm, no foul.  Nowadays with all of the lawsuits and tv reports, everyone walks around like zombies in offices - afraid to even say "I love your dress" or "you look so pretty today" because God forbid, that may bring about a firing or a lawsuit.


@santoriniIt used to be that if you thought someone was being in appropriate, you told them so.  If they continued, THEN you had a valid complaint.  Maybe the guy was an idiot and thought everyone liked being leered at and enjoyed dirty jokes.  But once he's told otherwise, he has no excuse.

 

Now, as you say, everyone is afraid to give an innocent compliment for fear of an accusation.

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Esteemed Contributor
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@bathina wrote:

@esmerelda you are making the assumption that these women were not promoted based on their qualifications. Are you saying that women who were harassed or assaulted are now in a position of power because they accepted the harassment? No wonder women still have to fight for equality.


@bathinaQualified or not, I'm saying if they were offended and left their positions, they wouldn't have the positions they have now.  Wanting to advance where they were, they accepted the harassment. It was worth it to them at the time. 

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