Community Chat

[cherry]

It happened to my daughter, who wasn't even out of her teens. This was decades ago. She reported it. She was living at home and knew we would stand by her

She had a place to live, and food to eat, and was safe. She reported it ,took them to court, and won

But what if she had no family, needed that paycheck, and had no resources? It could have been a different story..Men need to behave like  gentlemen, not  perverts, taking advantage of an unwilling  person

They could pick up anyone in a bar, if it was just sex they wanted. They want power, and to make the unwilling  their  personal plaything

Lets put the blame on the person who tried to make an unwilling person, have sex with them. Coercion is only a breath away from outright rape....and no they don't want you to do it..tired old lie, is that one

[chiclets]

Egad, in old Hollywood who would have succeeded as actresses without the producer's couch. Maybe that was where the entitlement root began.

[MarieIG]

@cherry, while I agree that coercion is terrible and punishable, it is NOT a breath away from outright / forcible rape. I am NOT going the details of how I know this, or argue back and forth about this, it's too painful.

[cherry]

[We will have to agree to differ, force is force. I am sorry you had to go through that @MarieIG

[esmerelda]

If it is against a person’s will, it is rape. If the person said stop and it continued, it was forced and it is rape. 

[esmerelda]

What I don’t understand is how oral sex can be forced. Unless there’s a weapon involved, I don’t get it.

It’s like “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.”

[esmerelda]

Also… Curious to see responses to the scenario I posted earlier (#59).  But I don’t really expect answers to question.

[shopperqvc]

I do question waiting 30 40 years to speak up. I know that it was a thing years ago. We've heard about a "casting couch" in the movie industry since I was a kid. There was another phrase for workplace. But, I guess not saying anything until the woman was out of the situation and maybe retired from the job helps her speak up. I just think that there are so many suddenly saying something we do need to be careful. There is that 1 person that will tell a lie. The stories have to be checked out. The intern that waited until JFK had been dead 50 years to write her book, that I question. And, yes, I've been in that spot as a young, new employee, and I walked out on the job. What he did to the next new employee, I don't know. I was protecting myself. No one at that time would have believed a 17 year old kid. That figures into the why no one reported these men, too. Who will believe me over the boss? 

[LTT1]

@ms traditional@shopperqvc@esmerelda@cherry@MarieIG

Speaking about “entitlement.”

A guy I worked with “tried” something on me.

Everyone was standing together for a Christmas photo. He was standing behind me, and put his arms around my waist!

I turned around quickly (he removed his arms quickly) and I just looked at him like”WHAT?”

Our boss spoke up and warned him by saying “no... we don’t want to get into a s@@ual harassment suit.”

The whole scenario was baffling to me. I think he thought he was being “cute.”

[chiclets]

Ha, I am sharing an odd/funny incident I experienced in high school about entitlement/attitude.

It was in the auditorium when we were standing for the National Anthem. When you stood the seats automatically fell back against the back rest leaving more room to stand.

There I was standing when the guy in the next row back reached over and grabbed my butt. I actually turned around and punched him in the face. I had a ring on and had a good right hand punch. Of course words were said and we were both pulled out and taken to the principal's office.

The short of it is that the guy was what then was called a collegian football player and frankly I was more of the leather, heels and not collegian look at all.

In the office I was going to be expelled for disrespecting the anthem!!! I was told I had no right to hit the guy! The principal went on and on and then said he was going to call my mother. I told him to call my father and gave him my father's work number. I told him to tell my Italian father I was in trouble for punching the guy. I just stared at the principal and said go ahead call. I was told to go back to class.

When my father came home from work I told him what happened and he was mad at me for not calling him from school. My father supported me and told me it was too bad I wasn't able to kick the guy. My dad did go up to school and the principal was put in his place.

That is when I had a lesson in attitude and entitlement by people who thought one type was better than the other and could control you and punish you for something that they did.

My dad always said a person can do wrong 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the morning. It was a matter of knowing right from wrong and respect.