Re: here we go again at CBS

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@bathina wrote:
@Shawnie wrote:
@lovesallanimals wrote:
OK ladies, please stop "ganging up" on me. Maybe I did not explain it correctly but I did not mean that anyone should walk away without reporting it. Of course you should say something, absolutely. What I was trying to say was that when Weinstein, for example, opens up his hotel room and is standing there naked in his bathrobe and asks you to you know what, I would immediately and I mean immediately get the heck out of there. I would then report it. If no one believed me, or if nothing was done at that time and I had to work with this man, I would find another job. End of story. I was propositioned by a very, very, senior guy who was making a fortune for an investment bank I worked in. They wanted me to work with him as they thought I could handle him (he had a "reputation"). I firmly said no way would I work with him. My feelings were respected and I wound up working with a terrific guy.
I sure won't be the one to gang up on you! Coming out of the 60s70s women's movement era and raised with wolves (three brothers) I was not prone to retreat! So when a man was out of line, I let them know they had crossed the line and I wasn't interested. Mid career a superior tried to mess with me. I let him know that one more time and he would be sorry. In the moment my self respect was all I was thinking about. I didn't care who he was. Somewhere along the way women lost their power.
How long since you've worked? Just curious. Also, do you believe that every woman is similarly situated to you? Or are you aware that not every woman has the same spine, the same confidence, the same support mechanisms that you do/did?

@bathinaOh, we poor women. We're so weak and helpless...no spine, no confidence. Although you wouldn't know it by how we conduct ourselves.

The EEOC has excisted since 1965. They're there for a reason. Maybe their existence and telephone number should be posted in every office.

Women took the abuse and the rewards that went with it. Called having your cake and eating it too.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

@bonnielu wrote:
@lovesallanimals I am with you. Why not when it happened. Did they benefit in some way. Why now? The IN thing to do and say but not when it happened.

Honestly I would have walked out from the get-go.

And the more women that report the horrible situation LATER rather than a the exact moment are hurting women such that no one will believe them if it becomes a line waiting to tell.

And gone where and done what? If your entire career is on the line and the person who harassed or assaulted you has the power to blackball you and end your career, where do you go? When a man is in a position as powerful as Les Moonves, Howard Weinstein, or Roger Ailes, "you'll never work in this town again" is a very, very real thing.

It's extremely easy to say what you would have done when you're not the person with everything to lose.

Linda Bloodworth Thomason was one one of the most successful creators on television and I always wondered what happened to her. Now she's telling: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/designing-women-creator-les-moonves-not-all-harassment-is-sex...

bathina · ‎03-14-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
@bathina wrote:
@Shawnie wrote:
@lovesallanimals wrote:
OK ladies, please stop "ganging up" on me. Maybe I did not explain it correctly but I did not mean that anyone should walk away without reporting it. Of course you should say something, absolutely. What I was trying to say was that when Weinstein, for example, opens up his hotel room and is standing there naked in his bathrobe and asks you to you know what, I would immediately and I mean immediately get the heck out of there. I would then report it. If no one believed me, or if nothing was done at that time and I had to work with this man, I would find another job. End of story. I was propositioned by a very, very, senior guy who was making a fortune for an investment bank I worked in. They wanted me to work with him as they thought I could handle him (he had a "reputation"). I firmly said no way would I work with him. My feelings were respected and I wound up working with a terrific guy.
I sure won't be the one to gang up on you! Coming out of the 60s70s women's movement era and raised with wolves (three brothers) I was not prone to retreat! So when a man was out of line, I let them know they had crossed the line and I wasn't interested. Mid career a superior tried to mess with me. I let him know that one more time and he would be sorry. In the moment my self respect was all I was thinking about. I didn't care who he was. Somewhere along the way women lost their power.
How long since you've worked? Just curious. Also, do you believe that every woman is similarly situated to you? Or are you aware that not every woman has the same spine, the same confidence, the same support mechanisms that you do/did?
@bathinaOh, we poor women. We're so weak and helpless...no spine, no confidence. Although you wouldn't know it by how we conduct ourselves.

The EEOC has excisted since 1965. They're there for a reason. Maybe their existence and telephone number should be posted in every office.

Women took the abuse and the rewards that went with it. Called having your cake and eating it too.

This attitude, especially coming from a woman, is the reason we are still not on a level playing field. Gross.

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

@Diva on The Q wrote:

@lovesallanimals: I really do understand what you are saying. But, I think it's important to consider that not all women can be as strong as you were in this situation. And, because a woman may not be as strong, we shouldn't hold it against them.

I'm going to say no to saying that women are somehow strong if they don't get harassed because that puts all the blame on the women. If a woman is attacked or harassed, it's because a man attacked or harassed her. It is never because she isn't strong.

And we wonder why women don't come forward. It's because some people feel that bad things can't happen to strong women. That's a falsehood that's been keeping women back for years.

Harassment and assault have absolutely nothing to do with how strong a woman is and have everything to do with how a man who harasses and assaults women is.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@bathinaAnd with the attitude that "not every woman has the same spine, the same confidence, the same support mechanisms," we never will be.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Alison WonderlandIf anyone said women are strong if they don't get attacked, I didn't see it. The fact is it's how they handle the attack that shows their strength...or lack of it. It also shows their self respect, self reliance and confidence in their abilities.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@Alison Wonderland Wow!! What an article.I don’t know how Julie Chen could live with the guy.I guess fame & money were her priorities.As opposed to self respect!!

Years ago I was a victim of s****l harassment on several occasions. It’s not fun.It’s downright degrading.I could never stand by a man who promoted or participated in that kind of behavior.

It’s about time all the snakes got weeded out. But in doing so they need to be careful about hurting innocent men as collateral damage.Not all men are skunks!!

Shawnie · ‎03-10-2010

@bathina On second career these days.

bathina · ‎03-14-2010

@esmerelda so you believe that every woman has strong self confidence, has someone/something to carry them should they lose a job, has a support network in place to buoy them in the face of character assaults by the accused? You believe that pointing out that not all women are equal in this regard is the reason we'll never be on an equal footing with men?

So a single mom who needs her job to feed and shelter her children is in the same position as a married woman with a working husband, who can afford to leave her job should she be harassed? Or a single woman just starting out is in the same position as a single woman with enough cash to carry her should she blow the whistle on a harassing boss?

You don't believe there are economic, personal and familial differences among women?

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to understand your position.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@bathinaI'm not saying anyone should leave their job because of harassment straightaway.

I'm saying anyone who is harasssed should report it to the proper people, up the line if necessary...if nothing is done...ending...or maybe beginning...with the EEOC.

I'm saying anyone who is harassed and remains silent does harm to themselves and others.

*********************
Keepin' it real.