Community Chat

[tdog]

I think it's more her problem than yours. Don't overthink it. Forget it.

[Suziepeach]

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@tennpal15 wrote:

You look great !!!! ~ For somebody of your size!!!!

yeah. qualified compliments are the best.

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@tennpal15, I've heard this, "You do carry yourself well."

[Sweet_Serenity]

Emily Post-Books on etiquette. Especially dealing with business situations or social engagements. Manners lacking today.

[libbyannE]

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@QVCkitty1 wrote:

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@libbyannE wrote:

It 's hard for me to understand people being sensitive about how old they are. I am always happy to have another birthday. I love this anonymous board because I can say something I would never say in person: I was always attractive and still am but I think I look my age. And that's just fine with me. I don't think about it! My self-worth has never been based on my appearance.

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The thing is that it bothered her,so I think it's a good idea to stay away from age remarks. We don't all feel the same about everything , and that's ok. JMO

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@QVCkitty1

I absolutely agree that the topic is inappropriate.

[libbyannE]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@libbyannE wrote:

It 's hard for me to understand people being sensitive about how old they are. I am always happy to have another birthday. I love this anonymous board because I can say something I would never say in person: I was always attractive and still am but I think I look my age. And that's just fine with me. I don't think about it! My self-worth has never been based on my appearance.

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      Yes, but that's you.  You aren't every woman.  And we have no idea about what OP said to that woman, she chose not to share that.  At 56 and having been raised to have good manners, I know that commenting on someone's age....even if I think think it's complimentary....is just something we should not do.  Especially in public, in social situation. 

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@chrystaltree

You are sooooo right that the topic should never have been raised.

[Desertdi]

I have had several people (OK, MEN)  say to me, in a business situation;  "You must have been nice looking when you were young."     I am not joking.   

[qvcaddition]

eople are so  sensitive over everything today.  They would not have made it back in the day.  PC has gone overboard.  IT IS NOT NICE TO BE RUDE, BUT TO CRITIZE EVERYTHING IS CRAZY.  IT does not offend me if someone says, YOU SURE DON'T LOOK YOUR AGE, OR YOU LOOK GOOD FOR YOUR AGE, I WOULD NOT HAVE BELIEVED IT.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?  PEOPLE NEED TO PUT ON THEIR BIG WOMEN OR MEN PANTS.

[Desertdi]

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@freakygirl wrote:

i was at a christmas party last night and there was a lady there who was older than me (i won't mention her age). her husband was the one who mentioned her age, and i was taken aback. she looked great for someone her age, in my estimation of how someone her age would most likely look. she even resembled a celebrity. so i sincerely complimented her, and i was rewarded with a death stare. she then proceeded to get up and walk away. i was dumbfounded, and up until now, i can't understand what i said wrong. i'm old, but my age has never bothered me. 

i guess i should be more careful next time before i compliment someone.

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@freakygirl wrote:

i was at a christmas party last night and there was a lady there who was older than me (i won't mention her age). her husband was the one who mentioned her age, and i was taken aback. she looked great for someone her age, in my estimation of how someone her age would most likely look. she even resembled a celebrity. so i sincerely complimented her, and i was rewarded with a death stare. she then proceeded to get up and walk away. i was dumbfounded, and up until now, i can't understand what i said wrong. i'm old, but my age has never bothered me. 

i guess i should be more careful next time before i compliment someone.

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[SahmIam]

@tennpal15  Lol, I thought your response of using weight insted of age was a great example. 

I've been told: "oh, you'd be so pretty if you didn't have such a fat face." "oh, if you lost weight, your face would be so pretty". "oh, it's such a shame for a pretty face to belong to a fat body." Oh, you'd be so lovely if you just lost some weight".

I could go on and on.

[libbyannE]

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@Desertdi wrote:

I have had several people (OK, MEN)  say to me, in a business situation;  "You must have been nice looking when you were young."     I am not joking.   

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Been there. Oh, in my early days in a city newsroom after college in the '70s, I would often hear things like, "Hey, she's smart for a girl"  or " How did a pretty girl like you get to be such a good reporter?" I covered a lot of crime scenes, and at every one, some well-intentioned officer would see me and say that this was no place for a "pretty, young girl."  It was hard to gain the same respect automatically accorded to my equally young male colleagues. I didn't feel bad about myself, but I felt angry about such ignorance. Behind the back of one of my friends, who is black, I would hear even worse things-- intended as compliments -- that she was "smart for a black girl."  Holy moly....