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12-07-2016 12:54 PM - edited 12-07-2016 12:56 PM
Just saw what you said. For sure, "for your age" would have done it. Oops!
12-07-2016 12:55 PM
@freakygirl wrote:yes, i did say for your age, and now i'll never use those 3 words again! i've complimented others the same way, both men and women, and they were just giddy hearing it. this is the first adverse reaction i've encountered, so i better stop saying it. no one in my family is sensitive that way, so i'm just unfamiliar with age being an issue.
live and learn.
Well, maybe this will help .....
Would you rather be complimented as:
"You're so pretty " ...... OR
"You're so pretty .... for your age ..."
The answer should be obvious.
12-07-2016 12:55 PM
If analyzing the appearance of a person in years is important to you, I hate to think of what you must see when you look in the mirror.
12-07-2016 12:55 PM
@libbyannE wrote:It 's hard for me to understand people being sensitive about how old they are. I am always happy to have another birthday. I love this anonymous board because I can say something I would never say in person: I was always attractive and still am but I think I look my age. And that's just fine with me. I don't think about it! My self-worth has never been based on my appearance.
Yes, but that's you. You aren't every woman. And we have no idea about what OP said to that woman, she chose not to share that. At 56 and having been raised to have good manners, I know that commenting on someone's age....even if I think think it's complimentary....is just something we should not do. Especially in public, in social situation.
12-07-2016 12:56 PM
@libbyannE wrote:It 's hard for me to understand people being sensitive about how old they are. I am always happy to have another birthday. I love this anonymous board because I can say something I would never say in person: I was always attractive and still am but I think I look my age. And that's just fine with me. I don't think about it! My self-worth has never been based on my appearance.
The thing is that it bothered her,so I think it's a good idea to stay away from age remarks. We don't all feel the same about everything , and that's ok. JMO
12-07-2016 12:59 PM
@freakygirl wrote:yes, i did say for your age, and now i'll never use those 3 words again! i've complimented others the same way, both men and women, and they were just giddy hearing it. this is the first adverse reaction i've encountered, so i better stop saying it. no one in my family is sensitive that way, so i'm just unfamiliar with age being an issue.
live and learn.
Well, you thought they were "giddy" about it. They might not have been but were too polite to indicate how they really felt. Everyone doesn't view age the way you do. Some people don't think that looking "young for your age" is compliment. However, it's not that big of a deal now. It happened, it's over, let it go. There are a 1000 ways to compliment someone without referring to their age.
12-07-2016 01:00 PM - edited 12-07-2016 01:00 PM
You never know how people are going to react to the topic of age or their looks.
12-07-2016 01:00 PM
@freakygirl wrote:yes, i did say for your age, and now i'll never use those 3 words again! i've complimented others the same way, both men and women, and they were just giddy hearing it. this is the first adverse reaction i've encountered, so i better stop saying it. no one in my family is sensitive that way, so i'm just unfamiliar with age being an issue.
live and learn.
Well...while I wouldn't be mortally offended if someone said that to me, I would think it was a pretty "clunky" thing to say, a very awkward "compliment" - and I sure as heck would not be "giddy (really?) hearing it."
12-07-2016 01:02 PM
Surely all of us have been around the block enough to realize there are a lot of people out there who are sensitive, crabby, or easily offended. It's why a lot of people don't strike up a conversation with strangers.
You can't take it seriously.
12-07-2016 01:03 PM
@VanSleepy wrote:If you said she looked good "for her age" that might've done it.
That would do it for me...........the "for her age" part is the kicker!!
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