Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,348
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

As much as it hurts, you need to be realistic. A state tuition for 4 years is not something to belittle. It is affordable, MIT is not in the budget and it is a guaranteed debt for years ahead.


A dream is a dream but reality is what is in front of you. Disappointment is part of life and learning to accept it is a lesson in life.


No one knows what is ahead. Chancing the debt would be worth it is far from a sure bet.


Be proud and content with the accomplishments that the child has achieved and focus on the future with what one has, which is a guarantee of a state tuition.


As a parent you deal with it just as your child will deal with it, by accepting the truth of the situation and moving on.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,914
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

@sidsmom wrote:


Could be wrong, but I believe the original post was a hypothetical

or a story in the news. 



@sidsmom  Not hypothetical but not my child either. I'm watching a dear friend deaing with this and when she asked me, I really didn't have (what I thought) was great advice. I don't know what I would do if it were my son. He knew we couldn't afford MIT and his 529 wouldn't cover it, so he's going in-state to be an engineer. He's eyeballing it for grad school, however. 


Lots of different viewpoints on this forum, so I thought "why not post it here"?  Lol, I wasn't wrong.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,291
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

My daughter has already paid in advance for 3 of her children to go to in state (all 4 years).


The youngest girl (now a sophomore in high school) goes to one of the most prestigious high schools in Va.  Her Dad graduated from there.  He could have probably gotten into an Ivy League college (as she probably will).  


However, he wouldn't accept money from his parents and went ROTC to University of Va.  The first day there he met my daughter and ......well...the rest is history.


I think Ivy League colleges are very over-rated.  People are graduating from these schools with degrees that will not help them get jobs.  (A very blanket statement....but true).


So many graduate from these colleges with only tremendous debt.  It will take them years to pay it off (if they ever do).


When my daughter and her husband graduated they had no college debt.  We paid fully for my daughter and ROTC paid for my son-in-law and his Master's.  My daughter graduated from Georgetown with a double masters.....whoopee.  She's a stay at home mom, like I was.  


She did work until they were ready to have children.  Their life (like my husband and myself) was planned out.  It wasn't easy but we all did it.


We didn't drive new cars or worry about what other's were buying or doing.


I think too many people try to keep up with other's.  They seem to not be willing to work and wait for it.


College debt is one of the biggest obstacles Millennials have to deal with.  


I just had a discussion about this with someone.  If a parent would put $5 or $10 every week, every other week, even month.  Just think of how much money they'd have saved.


Don't anyone dare to say, "Annabelle, they need that money".  There are many ways of being able to come up with $5 every other week.


Something similar to what the OP posted but on a much smaller scale.  My granddaughter by my other daughters got into a well-known school in Florida.  The cost?  It is $40,000 a year.....wait for's the equivalent to middle school, but goes through high school.  


Here's the daughter just got divorced, so now she has to come up with her 1/2 of the school!  Guess what?  She's also a stay-at-home mom (she's 43 years old and only worked for a few years after she got married).


There are a lot of people in all of these similar situations.  I tried to set up a scholarship fund at a high school named after my late husband's family.  Here were my requirements, it had to be for a trade (like plumbing, air conditioning, etc (any kind of trade).  I said they just had to have a solid C average.  


Do you know the school wouldn't accept those requirements.  They wanted it to be for an academic school (not trade school).


Not everyone wants to go to college.  We don't have enough people who can build and/or repair our appliances, our houses, our cars.


Yet those colleges keep cranking out young people who aren't prepared for some of the jobs that need people.


I'll go sit down.  I'm tired and this subject is like a sore that keeps getting picked at.


College debt I honestly believe is ruining this country.  Yet the colleges keep raising costs....they have nothing to loose.  A kid flunks what's it to the college, they got their money.....meanwhile the kid is in debt.  Ugh!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,409
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

@SahmIam wrote:

Your child is accepted into MIT. You can NOT afford the tuition. Your child has a college trust that will cover in-state tuition for all 4 years and but will only cover 1/2 year at MIT. Your child does NOT qualify for financial aid. Your child does NOT qualify for any type of scholarship. You will NOT co-sign a loan. 


As a parent, how do deal with the fact that your child can't go to a college he/she has dreamed about but won't be able to attend. Yes, the child can go into debt: their loan would be approximately $254,000 plus.


There are those who believe the debt is justified and will be paid off soon after graduation.


There are those who believe the debt is not justified in any way and is a waste of money.


I'm impressed the child ignored the nay-sayers (not smart enough, not talented enough, etc) and was accepted. But the reality of the cost...OMG.

@SahmIam Specifically what does your child want to study? 

Physics? Neuroscience? 

What degree do they want? 

How bad do they want it? 

How willing are you to travel to Cambridge to speak to them direct and talk about finances?

What is the average salary for a MIT grad (easily 6 figures to start/FYI)

Would your child work for somebody who could assume their loan ( forgiveness?) for the period of time it takes to qualify?


It's not a matter of my child got in, it's a matter of how bad do you want it, what are my options- and try to stay positive. 


BTW..on or off campus housing?  Cambridge is pretty pricey. 


I would jump through a thousand hoops to get them there.  Opportunity of a lifetime, don't let it pass. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,213
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

Reminds me of the John Grisham book I just read The Rooster Bar.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,669
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

If it were my kid he would be patted on the back for getting into MIT, but be mature enough to realize, going into that kind of debt is a sign of immaturity and stupidity.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,096
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

[ Edited ]


From a guy that dropped out of high school, not once, but twice. College education, in my opinion, is overrated. Yes, I  know what the studies(polls) say about job availability and income. I happen to be a skeptic of most every study and/or poll. 


Many college educated people, including the present, are not working, or if so, not in their "chosen field". Many that decided that Trades were more the type of work they would like, and also more likely to more often be able to find work, and at good pay. Someone with a college degree?  My belief is their good paying jobs are more limited.


As far as MIT verses a college that will be paid for in full via a trust?  I am not one that knows how long an MIT "acceptance" is valid. I say that child(?) should go to work until they save enough money to go to MIT.


Now you know my kids all have 4 legs and fur, but having lived in the world, and worked around and even with those with college degrees? Think I see the whole picture. The phrase I most often hear is "put money away for our children's college". Seldom do I hear "put money away for our children's Trade School".


According to Mike Rowe, from the TV show "Dirty Jobs", there are at present, I think he said, 5 million unfilled job openings in the Trade Skill World in the United States. Why? Not enough individuals with the necessary skills. Also said all of them are 6 figure jobs, $$$$$$.


That's it from this childless(except those with fur) twice high school dropout. But hey, I retired at age 52 as an  unskilled worker"





Occasional Contributor
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎10-23-2018

Re: Your child gets into MIT....


We saved enough money for 4 years at a state school. We told the kids the money is yours as long as you attend college but there will no more. If you go out of state or take longer than 4 years then you either work or borrow the money. Most importantly if you get a scholarship the money is still yours.


The oldest graduated from the AF Academy. She used her money for a house and a car.


The second child switched colleges and ended up taking 5 years. She obtained a college loan.


The youngest took seven years to graduate. He worked to pay off the extra 3 years so he woukdn’t be in debt. 


We told the kids about their college fund very early on so they could plan their college days.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 49,698
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

[ Edited ]

@blackhole99 wrote:

If it were my kid he would be patted on the back for getting into MIT, but be mature enough to realize, going into that kind of debt is a sign of immaturity and stupidity.

Exactly. Obviously, none of us knows this kid, but applying when he knew the funds weren't there almost feels like a set-up... I continue to feel he should make the most of the education he can afford and realize that not all dreams come true... It's a bitter life lesson we all learn... We don't always go the school we want... Thousands of kids every year settle for a school that wasn't their first choice... Nor is it right to make the parents feel like some kind of failure because they can't oblige him... I can understand applying 'just to see' but it doesn't sound like that's what this was...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,473
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

Sorry: Have not yet read the entire thread.

Are there younger siblings yet to come who the parents must help out equally?

Have the MIT child speak with people in admissions and financial aid to see what the options are. I am not sure that credits from another university will be accepted in transfer to MIT. Will MIT allow the student to defer admission for a year or more so he or she can work full time + to come up with funds to help defray the cost of tuition? Can the parents pay the room, board and travel costs?


Parents need to have the talk with their children no later than the middle of 9th grade about what they can pay towards the child's college education, if anything. I personally believe that parents should take on some debt for college if possible; same with the student. By no means should anyone take on unreasonable debt. I have seen it time and again. I am the mother of two college grads, both in their 20's. One went to college out of state and is paying back a loan that totalled under $8K total for 4 years. He was hired for a full time job several weeks following graduation. He paid for his Masters degree- no additional debt. Is now married and owns a home with his wife. I helped him out with tuition, room & board. The other earned a ROTC full scholarship for 7 semesters. He had a small loan ($6K) because his private college was mad expensive (like MIT). He has paid his loan in full after only two years. I have no college debt for my children. I did have a 529 account for each. Their father does have debt for their educations: his choice along with inadequate planning, as he could well afford the cost. I planned early as I refused to allow my children to start their adult lives with crushing debt. Could not do that in good conscience as their mother.