Re: Would you stay?

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

Those vows have to mean something. Period

The safety of the kids cannot necessarily be protected by divorce. If he is doing strange things, he can follow her and the kids, married or not.

She should be putting the kids someplace safe (and herself too) and work as his wife to get him institutionalized or whatever it takes to keep them all as safe and healthy as possible.

She may need to leave him, but she is obligated to help him. Sounds like this is illness (in sickness and in health), and no different than if he was draining their finances with expensive cancer treatments.

Don't people think about their family history of these kinds of things before they have children?

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

Would I stay? Yes. The same way I stayed for my mom who was profoundly mentally ill with schizophrenia. I was her caretaker after my grandmother died as my father wanted nothing to do with her diagnosis and till the day he died never came to terms with it.

While reading through this thread, I was brought back to a time when mental illness was a stigma on a family. I felt the sting throughout most of my life ....people often shunned my mom and it hurt me to see her suffering.

With the right medications, the majority of people with schizophrenia can lead near normal lives. The meds today are far different than when I was growing up and Haldol was used almost exclusively. Haldol had numerous side effects and compliance was an issue. Today injectables that last for 30 days help many with the compliance issue. There are also many medications with less severe side effects. My mom was on a regime of two that really helped her immensely...enough for her to get to know her two grandchildren and be loved by both of them... There was a light at the end of the tunnel!

So yes, I would stay. I loved my mom and will always admire her strength in the face of a devastating illness....She was probably the most courageous person I have ever known in my lifetime.

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

Not sure why some keep bringing up keeping the children safe. The OP never mentioned anything about abuse to his wife or children. For those who seem to be concerned about those with mental illness being violent, 18% of US adults suffer from some type of mental illness. That is almost 1 in 5 people and it seems safe enough to walk in public. As with any illness a family faces there is stress and often financial burdens they must handle, with some more than others. The public stigma of those with mental health issues is apparent from some of the posts in this discussion. This stigma often delays treatments and only adds to the problem

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@Trinity11 I admire you, hugs to you

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

So many types of mental illness, many do not have insurance, i had a neighbor that had a brother with schizophrenia he had it from his teens, but family thought when he was younger he was just odd,any how she was getting married and he came to the wedding i got to meet him,i had a terrible feeling about him, a few months later he told his dad he was ready for help he was married and had a daughter,he asked if his dad and brother would come and take him, brother got there late when his dad arrived he the son was waiting in the kitchen had a loaded gun shot his dad,ran upstairs to daughters bedroom,shot himself,both died he had planned to kill dad, brother and himself.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@JustJazzmom Right you are. Bipolar with schitzoid tendencies. Bipolar 1 perhaps. Be that as it may, this would need a psychiatrist to evaluate this disease and accurately diagnose it then treating it with appropriate meds, therapy and follow up. A very long term plan. A forever plan. Frequently, when those with mental health conditions feel better, they stop taking their meds. She is looking through a kaleidoscope of an ever changing landscape. Those that are advocating remaining in this situation, are discounting the effect of his illness is going to have on the lives of his children.If indeed he is bipolar, she will be bankrupt in a year without the proper oversight and direction of the professionals. Just my opinion.

AngusandBuddhasMom · ‎03-10-2010

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
Not sure why some keep bringing up keeping the children safe. The OP never mentioned anything about abuse to his wife or children. For those who seem to be concerned about those with mental illness being violent, 18% of US adults suffer from some type of mental illness. That is almost 1 in 5 people and it seems safe enough to walk in public. As with any illness a family faces there is stress and often financial burdens they must handle, with some more than others. The public stigma of those with mental health issues is apparent from some of the posts in this discussion. This stigma often delays treatments and only adds to the problem

Not sure why you are confused about this? Seriously ? All your little statistics will mean jack if something happens to those kids and there were a bunch of adults who stood by becaue they were more concerned about this husbands "feelings" that is pretty selfish. Everybody either is personally effected or knows a family member that sufferes from some form of emotional or psychological problems. That said great now lets make sure the kids who are the innocent bystanders don't get hurt. The OP is a friend not a family member so she is not privy to what actually is happening. If this woman is reaching out to her then she apparently needs help outside of her family.