Community Chat

[Mersha]

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@They CallMe MRWILKES wrote:

Seems like lots of enabling Mommies. 

Wouldn't be surprised if they criticized same behavior in others.

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@They CallMe MRWILKES  Just curious, do you have children?

[KailaS]

    My mother was both frugal and practical. She also grew up poor. As a result, she expected my sister and me to get jobs during the summer when we were in high school.  When I went off to college, she and dad paid my first two years to live in the form, but I was responsible to pay tuition,books, and everything else for my three degrees. I paid living expenses after those first two years.

    Any time I was at home, by age 17, I had to pay what mom called " board." There was a point when I rented a home from my parents and was given 30 days notice, like any othe tenant, when they wanted to sell the place.

    Was I upset? Yes, especially when my friends did not have to work as much as I or could afford to go on vacation while I worried about covering all of my school and personal expenses at a fairly young age.

       Fast forward many years: I realized over time that my mother ( she handled the finances), gave me a wonderful gift. I learned to be independent, to set goals, and to do what it took to achieve those goals. I never married. I think I was too busy having a career, saving money, and planning for tomorrow.

       My mother, almost 97, died a month ago ( on Oct. 9). There were no free rides or soft landings. The one time my mother lent me money, she charged me 8.5% interest.  But I am thankful that she taught me how to take care of myself. She also indirectly taught me how to be more generous than she was. I miss her.  And I now appreciate what financial and personal lessons she taught me.
     

[kindred cats]

@aj1980  ... I believe it was risky to ask such a generalized (loaded) "money related" question with no parameters.  However, I hope you got some answers to help you figure things out.

Good luck...are you possibly the one needing to move back in with your parents or parent?  I wish you well. 

[sunshine45]

in my culture, we take care of our family members.

it is one of the most important things in our lives.....FAMILY.

we had relatives where there were 4 generations living under one roof, both here and abroad. the old take care of the young, and the young take care of the old. it wasnt a chore and it wasnt a burden. it is a wonderful way to share love, respect, togetherness, wisdom, knowledge, and fun. it is worth more than any $$$$$ amount you could imagine.

it may not be for everyone for whatever reason, but once you experience it, it is not something you ever want to forget.

some may not agree, but this is OUR FAMILY and it has worked well for us for many, many years.

(i already answered the question earlier in this thread, but wanted to add a bit more as to why i feel this way......)

[Posh Poodle]

@Sage04  & @GingerHead  We used to have a red-headed poodle--Nutmeg. We looked alike, actually. She lived to be 16. Was very sensitive, intuitive, and sweet. I miss her every day but will see her again.

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@Sage04 wrote:

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@GingerHead wrote:

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@Posh Poodle wrote:

@GingerHead  I've really enjoyed your posts. I'm a fellow redhead of Irish descent so I think we'd get along as friends in person.

Love the comment about your fur child. My poodles are staying exactly where they are--at home enjoying a luxurious lifestyle!

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@GingerHead wrote:

Also, to add onto my last post.

I don't think there is a "right" answer because it's your family and that means you get to decide what's right for you.

There's no right or wrong here.... 

All I know is that in my family my dog child is never allowed to move out on his own.

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Awe, that's sweet of you. I enjoy reading your posts. Nice to have a forum friend. Us gingers need to stick together!

Also, I agree about giving our dogs luxurious lives, honestly I've had no problem spoiling my dogs because really and unfortunately their lives are so short that we need to make it the best possible life....so bring on the luxury! haha

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@GingerHead  I once saw a ginger poodle. It was so cute. I was at Home Depot and the lady had it in her handbag. She said she went out one day and when she got back she was shocked. Her children decided to change the color. She said it was fading so it started to take on an orange color. It was the cutest poodle I ever saw.

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[Posh Poodle]

@GingerHead  the day we brought home our rescue poodle Baby Ruth, I told her she was entering the life of luxury. Now she expects the best. We call her Little Diva Deserve.

[CatsyCline]

my parents were real hard-boiled old schoolers. could be a Great Depression thing.  one you turned 18 you were out of the house.    my ex's mother threw out his bed and mattress.

i did not want to be so hard with my own child.  nevertheless when my parents needed help i was there for them. 

my son came and stayed with me in his mid-20s, for about a year.  he worked nights and had grad courses by day.  i worked long hours.  we got a lot of take-out and sometimes i cooked.  he paid for a DSL line and his own phone and car insurance. 

i enjoyed having him home.  it all worked out.  he's in California now, great job, happily married and Dad to adorable twins and a cute baby.

[Posh Poodle]

TC--Too Cute!  @GingerHead 

Meet my little toy poodle Nutmeg:

[occasionalrain]

@CatsyCline 

You probably have lots of wonderful memories from that time and so does he. 

[Sage04]

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@kindred cats wrote:

@aj1980  ... I believe it was risky to ask such a generalized (loaded) "money related" question with no parameters.  However, I hope you got some answers to help you figure things out.

Good luck...are you possibly the one needing to move back in with your parents or parent?  I wish you well. 

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@kindred cats  I think it was just a generic question and it was a good one. Look at it. We are still talking!!