Community Chat

[Bird mama]

Sure thing Colonel Meow - that's why I always say, it's not the work, it's the people Office politics have always rubbed me the wrong way. I understanding going along to get along to a certain point. I get a lot of pressure to join the PAC too. Ugghhh

[Colonel Meow]

On 11/9/2014 kittymomNC said:

I've been retired now for a few years, and I don't know how the workplaces have changed. When I was in a corporate situation with a decent sized department, we celebrated special occasions in different ways. Sometimes we would celebrate a birthday by just someone volunteering to make the cake, people contributing a few dollars for drinks, etc. and have it right there in the office.

Other times, for a special anniversary with the company, a promotion, etc., if we could arrange to all be out at the same time, we'd go to lunch together, get a big table, pay for our own meals, and the boss of the department picked up the tab for the "honoree". We had some great times doing that.

If it was something very special (and it had to qualify as very special) like a new baby or someone leaving, we would take up a collection, simply by passing an envelope around (no one person took the envelope individually to each person to put them "on the spot") and everyone contributed what they wanted or could afford. Then someone usually volunteered to go and buy the gift. And everyone would bring in a dish or drinks, etc., and we had potlucks in one of our larger conference rooms.

It may be that other people in your department feel the same way you do, but are afraid to speak up because it might "rock the boat". It might be even harder on some others in the department to afford that much money every month. I had a book many years ago called "Games Mother Never Taught Me", and it was about office politics... sometimes that is the hardest part of a job, negotiating that obstacle course.

Maybe you can just go ahead and participate for a little longer, and after you get to know some of the people in your department better, you might be able to get an idea of how others feel without making a big "to-do" about it. Over time, if others agree with you, it might be possible to change this custom. I wish you luck with it - it's a difficult situation.

That sounds like a very useful book! I appreciate the suggestion that was offered in your last paragraph. Thank you for your response.

[151949]

This got so out of hand in one place i worked - and was so one sided because the young people were the ones graduating - getting married and having babies etc etc so the middle aged were always paying in and never getting anything. Finally, the manager of this huge department with over 60 employees decided to start a kitty - everyone paid in each payday if they cared to and all gifts were taken from the kitty. If you chose not to contribute to the kitty then all you got when you had a baby etc was a nice free e card. If you had the misfortune to have your event fall at the same time as several other events your gift would reflect the strain put on the kitty at that time. I think that is about as fair as this situation can get. I have been retired for 8 years now but at that time the contribution was $5/pay.And it was taken out as a payroll deduction and deposited directly into the kitty account.

[Colonel Meow]

On 11/9/2014 happy housewife said:

This got so out of hand in one place i worked - and was so one sided because the young people were the ones graduating - getting married and having babies etc etc so the middle aged were always paying in and never getting anything. Finally, the manager of this huge department with over 60 employees decided to start a kitty - everyone paid in each payday if they cared to and all gifts were taken from the kitty. If you chose not to contribute to the kitty then all you got when you had a baby etc was a nice free e card. If you had the misfortune to have your event fall at the same time as several other events your gift would reflect the strain put on the kitty at that time. I think that is about as fair as this situation can get. I have been retired for 8 years now but at that time the contribution was $5/pay.And it was taken out as a payroll deduction and deposited directly into the kitty account.

Interesting. So, in a department of 60 - if everyone gave $5 per pay period, that would total $7800 per year (if everyone contributed, of course). Wow, these contributions add up, don't they?

[Snowpuppy]

It got so bad in my office we abandoned the practice.

Many people felt bullied by The Pot Luck Queens to donate, buy, give, do, cook, etc. My boss put a stop to it. He once told me "the pot luck isn't for the person they are celebrating, it's for the other 40 people to knock off work"

There were baby showers, going away, retirement, second and third baby showers if you were well liked........and on and on. Then there was the "ewwwww.....WHO cooked, baked, brought THAT"?

Now if there is something to attend, they send an email to inform staff and it's always after work away from the office. Attend if you please. Skip it if you don't.

[redtabby]

In my lifetime of working in an office with showers for brides to be (but never invited to the wedding) and baby showers I calculate that I spent thousands of dollars for these gifts and food if there was a potluck, too. Since I never had a baby or got married during that time, I never was the guest of honor for any of these events. It does get out of hand, especially in an workplace with lots of younger people. We even had showers for the few men whose wives gave birth. I wish I could tell you a succesful way to reduce the burden.

[Suhse]

I'm a Dietitian in a large Hospital. I can relate to it getting out of hand. It's awkward, when people feel pressured, but really can't afford to always be participating. About 3 years ago, individual celebrations were Banned in our Department. Now, we have a Birthday, Day, in January; everyone gets their own Birthday card. We all get 3 chances, to draw for one of three gifts. They're small things, like a $10 gift card to Starbucks, sticky notes for your desk,etc. The third gift is work related; an hour instead of 30 min for lunch, for a week, or, getting to pick one day to leave a couple of hours early. And of course cake and ice cream. We also have an employee appreciation day in July. We usually do a pot luck lunch and draw for funny gag gifts. A much better system IMO.

[RainyDayGal]

Where I work an envelope is passed around with the card. You either put money in it or you don't. It's that simple. No one goes around asking people for money, no one knows who contributes and who doesn't. If they were to come up and ask me to hand over money right then and there I would tell them up front that I wouldn't be able to contribute, or that I wouldn't be able to contribute as much as they're asking.