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04-09-2011 10:00 PM
As many of you know, my mother passed away in mid-February, so not quite two months ago. I know that many of you have recently lossed loved ones also or are working through grief of your own.
Just stating the obvious here, but dealing with grief sure isn't for sissies, is it. I certainly think I'm grieving appropriately (whatever that means). I get up and go to work every day and look forward to it. And I'm able to do my work and enjoy it and joke with my co-workers and do my normal routine at home and all that so I'm ok overall. I'm able to talk about her easily (well, most of the time- depends on the subject matter), look at pictures. Forward motion.
I knew I'd be sad certainly. I knew I'd be heartbroken. But I am amazed at how the grief just slams into you sometimes and just how intense it can be. Hits you out of nowhere like a sledgehammer and then backs off and then comes at you again. Sometimes, things trigger it that you don't expect while some things you think would trigger it don't.
My husband is out of town this weekend and I was doing some stuff in the kitchen a little before 7 tonight and out of the blue I thought "mom will be calling in a few minutes." Uh, no she won't. We used to talk at around 7 every night, so I know it just popped in my mind out of habit. I teared up a little and then was fine.
Getting through this and finding our new normal is definitely a process.
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