Why do people make life harder than it already is? - Page 4

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@BirdieGal wrote:
@Isobel Archer

But why should the person with the disability have to be the one to figure out a “go around” or change?

Don’t they have enough to contend with? Why can’t people who should be, have the ability to comprehend and have compassion for another human being be the ones to help facilitate change?

@BirdieGal Because they and you and I have to live in a world that doesn't cater to any of us. All of us need to figure out how to get along with one another.

I am not disabled but I am short and I have a lot of work arounds for that when I need it. I don't expect ladders or stools everywhere I go but it would be extremely helpful. And don't get me started on big cars parking next to little cars.

Tall people have their own workarounds especially on airplanes I bet. The list goes on.

All of us have something that we need to compensate for or at times ask for help. Most people will help if asked and sometimes, while you may think a disability is apparent and recognizable, not so to others who may need help understanding what's in front of them and how to help.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@BirdieGal wrote:
@Isobel Archer

But why should the person with the disability have to be the one to figure out a “go around” or change?

Don’t they have enough to contend with? Why can’t people who should be, have the ability to comprehend and have compassion for another human being be the ones to help facilitate change?

How would the person at the drive in window know that the person had a disability? At some of those windows, you don’t even get to see each other The exchange of money and paperwork is done with a vacuum tube.

Everyone is responsible for themselves, even people who have disabilities. If you are in a wheelchair you know that you will have to find an elevator to navigate a building that has more than one floor.

In our country, we do have ramps and elevators in place, but when you travel to other countries, you will find that they do not. Therefore, you will need to find a way to get to where you want to be or not go.

That doesn’t mean there is no compassion. Some disabilities can’t be seen either, so no one knows about them unless the disabled person shares that information. The work around method is what everyone does every day of their life, most of the time without a thought.

I am 5’1” tall. I can’t reach items in the grocery store and even in my own cupboards. I use work arounds all of the time. I buy tomato juice in large cans to use as a step stool while grocery shopping. Being short is not a big issue, but it requires me to think ahead.

People who are obese must think ahead too. They will not be to fit through turnstiles or fit in restaurant booths.

I am sure the lady at the bank, did not know the lady at the window had a speech problem. If she couldn’t say her name and couldn’t tell her what she wanted how were they supposed to communicate?

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

Guess I don't get these judging and victimizing comments. We are hearing one side of the story. The teller at the drive thru obviously was having problems understanding what she was asking and needed to speak with her in preson. This happens many times at all kinds of drive thru establishments. There is no indication theat the teller was unkind or not understanding of the situation. The young lady was having a bad day, we all do. She has things to deal with that many do not have to, I am sorry for that. Blaming the teller, the ATM machine or society in general is not the answer.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

Anita Hug · ‎03-22-2015

While I understand her frustration and sadness, I also understand the banks side. It isn't their fault if they couldn't understand her.

I have a parent with the opposite problem - she is nearly deaf and is more than aware that she has a hearing problem. Yet she constantly makes people repeat themselves over and over again because she didn't understand them. Then she gets angry at them if they respond in a negatvie fashion after the 10th time they have had to shout something at her. She refuses a hearing aid and expects everyone else to speak up and make all the extra effort to communicate.

Yes, people should be understanding of those with limitations, whatver they may be. But at some point, those who have the disability do need to make some effort to help others help them. It's okay to ask for help, or to admit that you need it in the first place. Even if it's admitting it you yourself.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Isobel Archer wrote:
I really do feel for her and again, I am very sorry she feels she was put in a humiliating situation (due to the downed ATM) and then treated badly.

And I'm sure there are many situations where a note would not work well.

I just think that as many times as she must have experienced situations like this, she could make it so much easier for herself.

@Isobel Archer

I agree.

We all have our issues and limitations. Some are more severe or more noticeable than others. Often those increase with age.

What we should be able to do over the course of a lifetime, is figure out (or get help doing so) ways to adapt to those limitations, to make life as easy yet full as possible for ourselves.

It can be as simple as being unusually short and learning how to reach things on higher shelves in the grocery store, to stuttering and knowing ways to get what we need with as little verbal communication as possible, to being in a wheel chair and learning the easiest way (best routes) to navigate the streets and sidewalks in our town for ease and safety, while still accessing the places we want and need to be.

My husband has a cousin we are very close to, and he has a pretty bad stuttering condition. It has held him back, especially in relationships, so I understand that it isn't easy sometimes, but after a lifetime of living with any issue, one should at least have come up with some skills/methods in adapting in everyday situations, like banking.

And everyone gets frustrated and embarrassed and deserves a good cry. I don't fault her for her feelings in the least.

It would indeed seem to make her life less stressful and easier if she had a plan or method to go to places like this that she needs to do often and regularly, and communicate in a different way, even telling the business, why she needs to if necessary.

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

My husband works with a sweet guy (he's around 21) who stutters. If he is comfortable around you, he talks fine. If he is caught off guard or gets anxious he stutters. My husband had words with other adults at his work for making fun of him. Adults...unbelievable.

I bet this lady was anxious and couldn't deal with it at that moment.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
Guess I don't get these judging and victimizing comments. We are hearing one side of the story. The teller at the drive thru obviously was having problems understanding what she was asking and needed to speak with her in preson. This happens many times at all kinds of drive thru establishments. There is no indication theat the teller was unkind or not understanding of the situation. The young lady was having a bad day, we all do. She has things to deal with that many do not have to, I am sorry for that. Blaming the teller, the ATM machine or society in general is not the answer.

@CrazyDaisy

I agree with you.

Also, what if there had been a line of cars behind her, also waiting to use the drive up teller?

How long are they supposed to wait for her?

They have lives and schedules too.

The teller was only asking for her to come inside so that they could help her better.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@bonnielu wrote:
I feel for her mainly because I did stutter badly ( I just posted about it). I do feel she was unfairly treated and my heart goes out to her. I also see the bank as protecting her assets and keeping her safe. They wanted to be sure. In this day and age we seem to be victims of others peoples greed and schemes.

@bonnielu

Unfairly treated? How?

So the ATM was inoperative and the drive through person couldn't understand her. I don't think asking her to come inside is being treated "unfairly". Just what should a bank do when someone comes to the drive through and isn't able to make themselves understood? For all the drive through teller knew, this woman was having a stroke or a panic attack .... or trying to rob the bank!

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@Carmie excellent response including your keen observation of other countries. Most of Europe being thousands of years old do not have accommodations for those with special needs. Are they insensitive? Or, are they just practical knowing that destroying a two thousand year old building to accommodate is, shall we say, not right. One can go on and on about someone else's insensitivity, or the inability to know about another's disabilities based on observation or the like, but, it is my conclusion that many in this country are quite sensitive to others needs. Hence the ADA, tolerance of animals in public places and so on. However, as with many things, when the pendulum swings to far to one side or the other, the push back is always extreme to get to the equilibrium point.

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

@Ruby Laine wrote:
She wants to be a victim? We don’t know her. I have only compassion. We all know someone with a handicap or issue, and we know people handle their issues differently.

I know a stutterer and you can’t imagine what he goes through, even though he can laugh at himself and doesn’t feel sorry for himself. I have a young family member with a sight issue. No self-pity there, but there are moments.

We all need to have more compassion and empathy, and never take for granted what we have. Or don’t have.

I made that statement about 'wants to be victim' and I just want to say that I am a disabled person myself so I know about compassion and/or lack of it. For me this woman had other means of getting what she needed. IMO, her story was told so that she would look like a victim...at least from my point of view it does. Personally, I don't like being a helpless victim, especially if I know there's a way to prevent it.