Community Chat

[cherry]

We aren't all the same. Just because you say you would do this, or do that, doesn't mean  she can

People cope the best they can  at the time, and we all have good and bad days

I doubt she wanted to be in the situation she was in. It might have been the straw that broke the camels back, for her ,that day

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

As I have read through these posts my mind keeps going to the story of Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan.

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Even Helen Keller had her moments. Life is a journey and people with disabilities get their days. There are often times people just need a forum to vent. It does not mean that they are consistently making life harder on themselves. I also remember Anne Sullivan cursing her inability to see. It happens.

I have always felt that since I walk in no one else's shoes, I have no right to judge them if they handle a disability different than perhaps I would. And I would never consider myself so cavalier as to tell them what they should or shouldn't do.

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While I am sure Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did have their moments and needed to vent, like most they were likely done in private not posted on the Internet.  And I would think that anyone dealing with difficulties would appreciate others suggestions that would make life easier.  We see those on the Internet everyday, even this board.  When you open your life up to the public you are bound to get many different solutions from many different perspectives.

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HUH?????? There was no internet back then. So how do we have any idea what either of them would have done??

Your post speaks to the fact that sharing anything personal is precarious at best. There is always someone who is ready to swoop in and tell a person (without having any real experience with the issue) how to do it right.

That's why when someone has a health issue, 99% of the time they are far better off communicating with people who understand the struggle. Designated forums for specific illnesses are extremely helpful. It makes it so they don't read so called solutions from some person who doesn't have a clue.

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Not sure why all the animosity.  When you vent, post, speak in a public forum you open yourself up to public comments.  That is from all different perspectives.  If you are only interested in specific responses then be specific in the method of your communication and target group  The OP was commenting on a public post not a medical issue.

[Isobel Archer]

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@cherry wrote:

We aren't all the same. Just because you say you would do this, or do that, doesn't mean  she can

People cope the best they can  at the time, and we all have good and bad days

I doubt she wanted to be in the situation she was in. It might have been the straw that broke the camels back, for her ,that day

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She's a writer and clearly able to express herself.  She's obviously very intelligent.  She is not helpless and hopeless.  She does not have to subject herself to situations where she cannot say her name when simply presenting an ID solves that problem.  I'm at a loss to understand why suggesting that to her is considered heartless.

[Noel7]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

While I empathize with this woman's problem, I can't help but think of people who, first of all, realize that they almost always have options and,secondly, look for them!  

It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her.  If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait.  In the end, she would make  more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure!  Empathy for people with disabilites is fine.  Sympathy, not so much.

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@jubilant  No sympathy for people with disabilities?  I’m shocked you feel that way.

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***********   The definition of empathy is..... the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.  In certain situations I feel empathy is better than sympathy.  If this woman would have taken it upon herself to choose a different avenue, imo, it would have saved her a lot of emotional pain.  If I could talk to her, I would certainly feel her frustation and pain and suggest a new way to look at things.  To me that is empathizing.  To insinuate that I have no sympathy for people with disabilities is not fair.  I am hoping that people here who know me will know that is not true.

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@jubilant

It’s about the ability to feel for or with others, to understand their pain.  You made a blanket statement that you don’t feel much sympathy for people with disabilities.  That goes against everything we supposedly stand for, everything we are taught. 

I felt it strongly for someone you cared about who was quite disabled at the time.  I am surprised you don’t feel it for others.

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This attack is unfair and I suspect you know it.  She clearly has empathy/sympathy/compassion for the woman's "condidtion."  What she, I and others have said is that while the woman has this condition, she is not helpless in the face of it.  She is not unable to empower herself.  And insisting that she "should not have to" is actually not compassionate at all.  How is her life better being unnecessiarily humiliated and angry?

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I didn’t attack her at all, I am more than surprised she feels nothing for those who struggle.  Please don’t do your usual pot stirring, hoping to get people fighting.  It’s what you do.  I also doubt you have any idea what I am talking about with Jubilant... not a clue.

[Isobel Archer]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

While I empathize with this woman's problem, I can't help but think of people who, first of all, realize that they almost always have options and,secondly, look for them!  

It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her.  If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait.  In the end, she would make  more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure!  Empathy for people with disabilites is fine.  Sympathy, not so much.

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@jubilant  No sympathy for people with disabilities?  I’m shocked you feel that way.

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***********   The definition of empathy is..... the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.  In certain situations I feel empathy is better than sympathy.  If this woman would have taken it upon herself to choose a different avenue, imo, it would have saved her a lot of emotional pain.  If I could talk to her, I would certainly feel her frustation and pain and suggest a new way to look at things.  To me that is empathizing.  To insinuate that I have no sympathy for people with disabilities is not fair.  I am hoping that people here who know me will know that is not true.

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@jubilant

It’s about the ability to feel for or with others, to understand their pain.  You made a blanket statement that you don’t feel much sympathy for people with disabilities.  That goes against everything we supposedly stand for, everything we are taught. 

I felt it strongly for someone you cared about who was quite disabled at the time.  I am surprised you don’t feel it for others.

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This attack is unfair and I suspect you know it.  She clearly has empathy/sympathy/compassion for the woman's "condidtion."  What she, I and others have said is that while the woman has this condition, she is not helpless in the face of it.  She is not unable to empower herself.  And insisting that she "should not have to" is actually not compassionate at all.  How is her life better being unnecessiarily humiliated and angry?

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I didn’t attack her at all, I am more than surprised she feels nothing for those who struggle.  Please don’t do your usual pot stirring, hoping to get people fighting.  It’s what you do.  I also doubt you have any idea what I am talking about with Jubilant... not a clue.

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Sorry, but claiming some "has no sympathy for others" feels like an attack to me.  She clearly expressed that her lack of "sympathy" was for the behavior not the condition.

[Noel7]

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@cherry wrote:

We aren't all the same. Just because you say you would do this, or do that, doesn't mean  she can

People cope the best they can  at the time, and we all have good and bad days

I doubt she wanted to be in the situation she was in. It might have been the straw that broke the camels back, for her ,that day

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It seems to come down to the fact that there are many people who just don’t feel compassion for others.

[cherry]

Not knowing the back story about her day,  and her life,I won't speculate, nor will I attack someone who is disabled

I think Mary Stuart's prayer is the best advice in situations like this

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@jubilant wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

@jubilant wrote:

While I empathize with this woman's problem, I can't help but think of people who, first of all, realize that they almost always have options and,secondly, look for them!  

It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her.  If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait.  In the end, she would make  more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure!  Empathy for people with disabilites is fine.  Sympathy, not so much.

---

@jubilant  No sympathy for people with disabilities?  I’m shocked you feel that way.

---

***********   The definition of empathy is..... the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.  In certain situations I feel empathy is better than sympathy.  If this woman would have taken it upon herself to choose a different avenue, imo, it would have saved her a lot of emotional pain.  If I could talk to her, I would certainly feel her frustation and pain and suggest a new way to look at things.  To me that is empathizing.  To insinuate that I have no sympathy for people with disabilities is not fair.  I am hoping that people here who know me will know that is not true.

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@jubilant

It’s about the ability to feel for or with others, to understand their pain.  You made a blanket statement that you don’t feel much sympathy for people with disabilities.  That goes against everything we supposedly stand for, everything we are taught. 

I felt it strongly for someone you cared about who was quite disabled at the time.  I am surprised you don’t feel it for others.

---

This attack is unfair and I suspect you know it.  She clearly has empathy/sympathy/compassion for the woman's "condidtion."  What she, I and others have said is that while the woman has this condition, she is not helpless in the face of it.  She is not unable to empower herself.  And insisting that she "should not have to" is actually not compassionate at all.  How is her life better being unnecessiarily humiliated and angry?

---

I didn’t attack her at all, I am more than surprised she feels nothing for those who struggle.  Please don’t do your usual pot stirring, hoping to get people fighting.  It’s what you do.  I also doubt you have any idea what I am talking about with Jubilant... not a clue.

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OMG where exactly did ANYONE say "they feel nothing for those who struggle".

[Trinity11]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

---

@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

---

@jubilant wrote:

As I have read through these posts my mind keeps going to the story of Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan.

---

Even Helen Keller had her moments. Life is a journey and people with disabilities get their days. There are often times people just need a forum to vent. It does not mean that they are consistently making life harder on themselves. I also remember Anne Sullivan cursing her inability to see. It happens.

I have always felt that since I walk in no one else's shoes, I have no right to judge them if they handle a disability different than perhaps I would. And I would never consider myself so cavalier as to tell them what they should or shouldn't do.

---

While I am sure Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did have their moments and needed to vent, like most they were likely done in private not posted on the Internet.  And I would think that anyone dealing with difficulties would appreciate others suggestions that would make life easier.  We see those on the Internet everyday, even this board.  When you open your life up to the public you are bound to get many different solutions from many different perspectives.

---

HUH?????? There was no internet back then. So how do we have any idea what either of them would have done??

Your post speaks to the fact that sharing anything personal is precarious at best. There is always someone who is ready to swoop in and tell a person (without having any real experience with the issue) how to do it right.

That's why when someone has a health issue, 99% of the time they are far better off communicating with people who understand the struggle. Designated forums for specific illnesses are extremely helpful. It makes it so they don't read so called solutions from some person who doesn't have a clue.

---

Not sure why all the animosity.  When you vent, post, speak in a public forum you open yourself up to public comments.  That is from all different perspectives.  If you are only interested in specific responses then be specific in the method of your communication and target group  The OP was commenting on a public post not a medical issue.

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I assure you, the animosity is not coming from me. Rather a response to ignorance which seems to have no cure when it comes to some.