Why Do We Like Retirement?

pattypeep · ‎06-06-2011

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?

Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite.... QUESTION: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein

meallen616 · ‎01-10-2013

mzlg · ‎04-28-2011

@pattypeep, funny list!

The one that fits me in retirement is:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

~

I'm sure others will have great Q & A's to add.

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

Love it!🙌👏😂

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

truffle · ‎01-04-2016

There was this wonderful guy that I knew who worked at one of our local hardware stores. Started working there part time about 10 years ago when he had already begun collecting social security. He had this pleasant vibe and was alert and quick and everyone really liked him, no loved him. I would go in there to get keys made or buy some household item and would shout out to my friend Dan and ask him how he was today. He told me when his ex wife passed away, told me when a colleague died and told me all about his 2 sons who came to visit him a couple times a month despite living in another state but kept in touch a few times a week by phone. He asked me once to explain how to use his remote for his tv service. I had the same service and same remote and went home that afternoon to write him a very easy to understand user manual. He loved it and told me he kept it by his side while watching tv. He could now record his favorite programs with ease like an old pro.

I went into that store the other day and my friend Dan wasn't there. I was told that he was asked to transfer to another store and he didn't want to, much too far to drive, so he quit, just up and quit and I never saw him again. Could not conceal my disappointment in not having the chance to say goodbye. The new man they hired was also very nice and a much younger man in his forties.

One of his sons found him unresponsive after not answering his phone calls. My friend Dan had became bored and depressed and passed away quite suddenly. I feel having a purpose keeps us alive for a little bit longer, may he rest in peace. Gone too soon!

corita · ‎08-20-2012

Good questions and answers!!! My retired friends and I always agree on this retirement theory....

I can do what I want,

how I want,

when I want,

where I want,

and with whom I want!!!!

PS -- obviously within the law

Who or whom???? Never am certain!!!!

meallen616 · ‎01-10-2013

So sad, may Dan,

IamMrsG · ‎08-29-2010

@corita wrote:
Good questions and answers!!! My retired friends and I always agree on this retirement theory....
I can do what I want,
how I want,
when I want,
where I want,
and with whom I want!!!!

PS -- obviously within the law
Who or whom???? Never am certain!!!!

For me, the better part is:

And I don't have to do anything if I don't want.

BTW, 'whom' is correct.

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.

Katcat1 · ‎07-21-2011

I like it because I no longer get up by an alarm clock & do whatever I want to do, dress casually, eat out a lot more and don't have to answer to anyone.

kindness is strength