Community Chat

[jessa]

On 3/27/2015 Nancy Drew said:

On 3/27/2015 jessa said:

Interesting to see certain posters say they forgive or move on but then they're the ones that never miss a chance to drag around grudges & bring up their ""forgiven"" grudges against posters from thread to thread.........

I noticed that as well.

Guess they think everybody else is blind lol........

[Pashmina_1]

On 3/27/2015 jessa said:

Interesting to see certain posters say they forgive or move on but then they're the ones that never miss a chance to drag around grudges & bring up their ""forgiven"" grudges against posters from thread to thread.........

I think we have already agreed that we are all hypocrites from time to time.

[SleeplessinSD]

""Holding On To Anger Is Like Drinking Poison And Expecting The Other Person To Die""......Buddha

[jessa]

On 3/27/2015 Helen47 said:

""Holding On To Anger Is Like Drinking Poison And Expecting The Other Person To Die""......Buddha

Exactly......& you can see in some people how the ""poison"" is eating at them......

[MaRina]

It's easier to forgive when you realize it's only hurting you not the person that transgressed against you. It takes time depending on the circumstance. And sometimes after you forgive it's best to love that person from a distance.

[hyacinth003]

I have a brother-in-law that I hate, despise, etc.etc. I have never hated before in my life.

I haven't even been able to get CLOSE to wanting to forgive him.

One reason is that he continues the behavior that led me to hate him. He is a sociopath and has no conscience, morals, or shame.

He broke up the entire extended family and cost them about $100,000 to have to fight him in court.

He left his 5th wife and children after that. I see how he behaves toward his immediate family in breaking up with his wife and children.

I know I should probably forgive him, but the best I can do is NOT think about him.

The only hope I feel is that God will decide to make him account for his actions some day.

Hyacinth

[Still Raining]

I think the truth is that for a lot of people it is more fun to hold on to all the anger and resentment and sing the they done me wrong song. Then they can occupy the high ground and be right. Not pretty.

To forgive is not to forget or condone. It is only to move to an adult, safe, viewpoint and to take power back from the perpetrator.

ETA, I just realized that it might appear to be a direct comment on a preceding post and this is not my intent. This is only a generalized comment. Please forgive.

[shoekitty]

My thought for myself is, I can't take the grudge with me when I go. I can only speak for myself, as I have gone through this only twice in my life. The obsession, the constant "replay" in my mind was SO tiring and wearing on my soul. I just prayed and prayed to let it go. There was nothing that could be done or fixed in my situation if I held on to the grudge.I was hurting myself. Because the other person could have cared less. One day it got easier to forgive and release, and continued! After I had let go for a few years, the money that was involved in one of the grudges came back to me, in an extraordinary way. I could not believe it, it was out of the blue. The exact amount was then given to me in different ways 2 more times after that. The other grudge, just lessened and i let it go.

It doesn't mean I didn't care about what happened, or I liked the person again. I didn't. But the hate was gone, and I felt better. It was selfish in a way. I cared about how I felt inside, not how they felt.

For me it was life changing

[qvcaddition]

Read THE AGLESS GODDESS, A whole chapter on it, very good.

[Topaz Gem]

Shoekitty, what an amazing story...