Community Chat

[newziesuzie]

wildflowers I'm sorry! I hope you repost. Thanks for sharing with us.

[jeanlake]

A former instructor, who taught mediation and negotiations, kept telling our class that in conflict as well as litigation -- the emotional one loses. He drummed it into us that differences become conflict when emotions get involved. Anger, fear, hate, resentment, vengeance, unforgiveness, etc., are all strong, debilitating emotions. So thankful for instructor's wisdom. I used to be an emotional person but the class helped me to gain a new perspective and want to be a more emotionally disciplined person. Who knew -- two years later I walked through some of the toughest emotional years of my life - but I did it without intense emotions. Can't express how thankful I am for those valuable lessons. I love what someone said -- don't forget -- but move on and leave the baggage behind.

[LilacTree]

On 4/10/2015 ury said:

A former instructor, who taught mediation and negotiations, kept telling our class that in conflict as well as litigation -- the emotional one loses. He drummed it into us that differences become conflict when emotions get involved. Anger, fear, hate, resentment, vengeance, unforgiveness, etc., are all strong, debilitating emotions. So thankful for instructor's wisdom. I used to be an emotional person but the class helped me to gain a new perspective and want to be a more emotionally disciplined person. Who knew -- two years later I walked through some of the toughest emotional years of my life - but I did it without intense emotions. Can't express how thankful I am for those valuable lessons. I love what someone said -- don't forget -- but move on and leave the baggage behind.

Being in business and professional environments for 40 years (my entire work life) I found the worst thing a woman can do is cry at the office. As your instructor said, you will immediately lose. I never cried at my job. It was always secondary to the things I do cry over, which always relate to my family. I would sit, expressionless, no matter the issue. For one thing, I had no urge to cry, and for another, I knew I projected strength. I was called many names, but "wimp" was not one of them.

[LilacTree]

On 4/10/2015 wildflowers said:

On 4/10/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/9/2015 wildflowers said:

Deleted my post...I quoted another poster who is going through a difficult time, as I wanted to share with her what I have learned about Forgiveness, through my personal experience...somewhat personal information...I was hoping she would see my reply, but it went unacknowledged, so I deleted it due to personal nature.

Interesting topic and I love good discussions, but it does help to have others to share with! lol

Was that me wildflowers? I deleted my post also after rereading and thinking it was TMI. It was also very personal which does not always go well on this BB.

Hi Ford...No, it was another poster...However, I did see your post 102 regarding narcissists and was going to reply...I couldn't agree with you more...They are definitely very difficult and disturbed people...I'm sorry that you have had to deal with a few in your life...one would be more than enough!

I definitely wouldn't want that poster in post 102 hanging in my home! lol

Rethinking . . . neither would I!!

[lulu2]

I do not believe all acts are forgivable. (at least by human beings)

I've learned anger usually hurts the person feeling the anger more than the person who has caused the feeling.

[cater]

On 3/27/2015 Pashmina said:

Time...it takes time. With time you can forgive anyone anything. And forgiving does not mean you invite that person back into your life with open arms. It means you are free from the bad feelings related to that person.

Pashmina I will try what you said been dealing with something for over 25 years and still have a hard time letting go of the resentment.

[newziesuzie]

On 4/10/2015 ury said:

A former instructor, who taught mediation and negotiations, kept telling our class that in conflict as well as litigation -- the emotional one loses. He drummed it into us that differences become conflict when emotions get involved. Anger, fear, hate, resentment, vengeance, unforgiveness, etc., are all strong, debilitating emotions. So thankful for instructor's wisdom. I used to be an emotional person but the class helped me to gain a new perspective and want to be a more emotionally disciplined person. Who knew -- two years later I walked through some of the toughest emotional years of my life - but I did it without intense emotions. Can't express how thankful I am for those valuable lessons. I love what someone said -- don't forget -- but move on and leave the baggage behind.

Ury, that's interesting advice about "the emotional one loses." As for not forgetting though that seems like the same as holding on to resentment. It's confusing. Thanks everybody for posting.

[jessa]

The old grudges are alive & well.......

[Preds]

They've been feeding well lately, jessa.

[JuJu Squeezie]

Don't make it or take it personally. That's when it hits the fan and sometimes folks are triggered cause something not meant to dig at them is a sore spot. I like to debate and fuss sometimes but I would probably meet most all of the posters and have a good time. (no weapons allowed)