Re: Who Do I report this too......personal account... - Page 4

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

I totally get what the OP is upset about. Even though married many are now keeping separate identities with their finances. This is an antiquated way of thinking where husband and wife are connected in everything and needs to be changed if that is how it's looked at. Many do not file jointly on their taxes anymore either since they each have their own source of income. While I am not married, have been with my SO for nearly 30 years and we have the same address and phone number. Even if married I would keep my name and my income separate. It's not that I care if he knows about my finances as he does - it's just that neither is responsible for the other's financial obligations. We pay half of all bills, etc and the rest is ours which is fairer than having one spend more than the other or one vetoing the other's purchasing something they want!!

whezy · ‎03-10-2010

For those who read carefully, thank you for getting the point. Obviously HH and others remain naïve and illiterate about credit laws and personal information laws of this century. I am 70. When I was young, in the late 40's and50's, my mom had a job and earned money. She bought a car, which had to have my dad's name on it even though he didn't pay for it. She bought furniture for our home, which she worked right alongside of him pounding nails to build. Back then the house was in his name only, because back then women could not have property in their name. When I was 13 he decided he loved another woman and made us leave. He got the house, the car, the furniture, everything my mom had worked to provide because by law it could not be in a woman's name.....the man was the provider. That has changed.

My DH knows everything I do. We respect each others space and he is proud of me for having my own credit, etc. I don't have to get permission to purchase anything, nor do I have to hide it. He pays all our bills and treats me like a queen, but he doesn't have to consult me to buy a new truck or golf clubs if he wants. I had lung cancer, 2 major lung surgeries, chemo and radiation. For 2-1/2 years my DH did EVERYTHING for me including cleaning after me . I did not want him out of my site I was so dependent on him. . It has taken work to regain my self confidence and become an independent person again. At our age, he is comfortable I can take care of myself if something happened to him. OR I can take care of him and me if necessary, physically and financially. In my opinion, women who leave all the finances to their DH make a big mistake they regret in MANY instances.

We are married and live at the same address as but the young lady giving him my credit information did not know that for a fact. He could have been a boarder or a visitor at this address.. She said it was because we had the same address, not name. Think of how many men and women LIVE together today, not married, at the same address. That is ridiculous. It is illegal and needs reporting before a controlling, violent, abusive husband or boyfriend, finds out about his wife's purchase and beats her or worse.....just for an example!

Any property (credit) listed in both names, like a house, land, boat, car, etc., is reported by credit reporting in both names but separate accounts are not supposed to be reported as one just because you are married. Same is true of bank accounts and medical information. If I don't list my husband as a person to release information too, he can't get it. If I died, he could not get the money out of my personal checking account if his name is not on it. And ladies, just because your name is on your home with your husband, in many states, if he dies, it does NOT go automatically to you if there are children. My poor neighbor just found this out the hard way.

I can not believe in this day when women are suppose to be so self confident and self supporting so many are still so naïve......very sad. And as I say, I am 70, not a young chick., but I do try to keep up. Thanks to all you who got the problem......and it wasn't that my bill was NOT paid.....I do pay my bills first!!!!!!! I worked for 40+ years and raised 5 college and post graduate kids......I don't live off government handouts.

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

whezy, what a great post. You've said it all, and said it very well. I just wanted to add to one thing you said, which is so important:

And ladies, just because your name is on your home with your husband, in many states, if he dies, it does NOT go automatically to you if there are children. My poor neighbor just found this out the hard way.

When my father passed away, he did not have a will. My mother's name was on the house with his and on his bank accounts, but according to the laws in my state (at that time, don't know if they've changed), his entire estate was divided among my mother and three children because he left no will. She got one-third, and we got the other two-thirds divided equally among us. So if we had been greedy, she wouldn't even have been able to keep her house! We wanted her to have everything, so we were able to get around it by all three of us signing over our portion to her and making no claim on his estate.

So, as you said, women need to be well-educated on the laws and their rights, whether they're married or not. I'm sorry you had this happen to you, and I hope you really take them to task for doing it.

pinkwblingplz · ‎12-22-2014

I'm sorry you got beat up a little here but I'm glad you explained further. I think I'd of had the same reaction. I did look for the whole shipping address thing but the customer svc rep may have just said that to cya. Anyway, I found these

http://www.hsn.com/article/privacy-policy-8-21-2008/4542

http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/topics/resolving-consumer-problems?sort=popular

I don't know if it was really HSN that you had the issue with but any sites Terms & Conditions can usually be found by scrolling all the way to the bottom. I have no idea if you know that or not so my apologies if you already do.

I hope helps