Community Chat

[Sadiesadie]

@LilacTree : I am so sorry about this. What if instead of saying “what” all the time you stay silent? If she asks why you haven’t said anything or commented just tell her you couldn’t hear her.

Possibly if she is sensitive and caring at all she may realize when she hears silence.

Other than not answering I can’t imagine how you could change it. You’ve told her many times you can’t hear her but she seems oblivious. 

My husband is very hard of hearing even with a cochlear and hearing aid in other ear. I tend to forget and even tho my voice is loud I’ll forget and not be close to him when I say something. If I happen to be looking at him he’ll point to his ear so I get closer and repeat. If he doesn’t respond I know he didn’t hear me.

He hates saying what all the time so will stay quiet. That’s my clue

[CelticCrafter]

Is it a cordless?  If it is, why can't she multi-task without putting it on speaker.

[jeanlake]

It sounds like you want to keep that personal connection. As we've heard a lot recently, we train others how to treat us and we manage every person who flows in and out of our lives. I like the answers you've been given -- Get blue tooth or sit while she chats with you and keep calls brief. 

[cherry]

I'd keep it short and sweet. I would just keep saying sorry, I can't hear you, like a broken record..then say ,I guess I'm just not that interesting ,anymore ,goodbye

[Cakers3]

@LilacTree   Kindly suggest she get a device to hold her phone hands free with a bluetooth device for her ear.

Actually I find it rude to do other things while talking but I understand some folks need to multi-task.  I wouldn't take it too personally but I understand your frustration.

Only you can decide how much you want to continue daily calls; if you have expressed your concerns and she cannot adapt, maybe less calls and shorter times.

[MarieIG]

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@qbetzforreal wrote:

Keep the calls short.

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You don't have to terminate the relationship.

I've had the same problem; and when it gets bad, politely end the call.

Sorry (her name), I can't hear you now, I'll give you a (or) give me a call tomorrow when you have time to talk. 

[sidsmom]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@sidsmom wrote:

Can we suggest meeting over coffee or dinner instead of calls?

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@sidsmom 

She lives in NC and I live in NJ.

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Shoot.

Sounds like you have done full due diligence by

- presented the issue (reminding of hearing loss)

- offered to not use speaker (not being done) and

- offered to text (not being done)

...all met with resistance.

We all have known someone who is a exactly like this or

a variation of it...where they call & talk AT you...maybe a

one-sided conversation?

[Sadiesadie]

@Desertdi : I volunteer for a non profit that deals with the elderly (I’m 74🤔 if it matters). Oh boy trying to communicate on the phone with that tv blaring and all that background noice is sure frustrating especially if they don’t hear well

[LilacTree]

@software 

No, it’s not worth losing a friend, especially since we were estranged for a couple of years and several months ago she sent me a friend request on FB and we have both been so glad to be reunited.  She is the lifelong friend (70+ years) I have mentioned before.  She had an almost lethal stroke in August 2017, but seems to have fully recuperated since then.  So it’s complicated, as they say.  This constantly having to move around could be related to that.

[Stevie Nix]

Are you calling her or is she calling you?  If you're calling her just say "I can hear your busy, call me back when you have free time."  In fact, say the same thing if she's calling you.