Re: What kind of friend is this?

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

I think you are angry for no reason, really. Let it go! Just be happy for her, knowing she is doing well, healthwise. How wonderful that she was able to get away for two weeks after what she has gone through.

Life is too short to be mad at a friend for something like this. It's a grain of sand in the beach of life.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Your friend has been through a lot. I would overlook this one. Sometimes illness changes a person. My gut feeling is she just wanted to get away from it all. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Good friends are hard to come by.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@janinna

I think you've been a wonderful friend to this person and I'm sure she appreciated everything you have done for her. With everything she's been through, I'm sure she never meant to hurt you in any way. Please don't take this as an insult. She was probably so caught up in the arrangements and getting ready that she was very busy and was focused on all of that. I would not let this get in the way of a friendship. When she returns, I am sure she will have lots of exciting things she will want to share with you.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Jacie · ‎01-09-2011

She's now healthy, you are healthy. Let this one go!

"Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral." -Garfield

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

You friend has a lot on her mind, maybe she thought she told you?

Jaspersmom · ‎06-08-2011

@janinna wrote:
A friend of mine recently went through cancer treatment. I was with her every step of the way. I spent a lot of time getting her through this. She has recovered very well. I used to hear from her daily. I didn't talk to her for a few days, then I saw on Facebook that she and her sister and daughter had gone to Florida for two weeks. She left and never said anything to me. I was quite shocked. She called when she got back and she acted like nothing had happened. I didn't bring up the subject because I guess I feel that she showed her true colors to me. My feelings toward her will never be the same. Am I wrong or should I have called her out on it? We have been friends a long time and I just can't believe she would do something like that to me. You think you know someone.

With all due respect, I think you may need to be "called out." You didn't get her through her cancer treatment. She got herself through it. You supported her. If your actions were only with the expectation of something in return, then they were for the wrong reasons. Her life is her own. When she spoke to you after her trip, you should have told her you saw her posts on FB and hoped she had a nice time because she certainly deserved to get away. Sounds like you are making this a little too much about you.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

It is not easy to support someone through cancer treatment - and this was not even a relative so clearly, it was above and beyond.

For those acting as if she did nothing special- you didn't help her get throught it - she got through it - was it in the contract for her to ask your permission to go on a trip - etc. etc., - those comments are just mean.

I don't know the details of the situation of course, but it would seem that it would not be unreasonable to think that after investing all that time and emotional energy in helping her friend, that it would not be too much for her friend to at least let her know she was going on a vacation.

Apparently they were close friends - how would those criticizing her react if one of their close friends just disappeared for a time and you had no idea where they were?

And yes, there may also be some feeling that the friend didn't really appreciate all her sacrifices in caring for her - that's not selfish - that's human. I would wager that all those purporting to be so altruistic that they would devote significant periods of time helping a cancer sufferer with absolutely no thought of ever expecting even a thank you are deluding themselves.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

Most true friends would tell their friend they are leaving for 2 weeks. Not sure what type of friends you all have,

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

Since it's bothering you, I think you should bring it up to her in a kind way, to clear the air for you.

mima · ‎03-14-2010

I have a good friend. When DH and I go on trips, I don't tell her. She is single, works full time and has no life. I feel like I'm bragging if I tell her we are jetting off to Vegas, or where ever with DH. She gets depressed because she is single and I feel like I'd just be rubbing it in.

We don't offer for her to go because she is really frugal and would never spend the money on a trip even though she can afford it.

I feel guilty not telling her sometimes.