Community Chat

[Mominohio]

I can understand just how hard it is to throw a picture away, and then one so big as to be almost life sized, makes you feel awful.

I spent a couple of years sorting, labeling, dating and filling photo albums with thousands of family pics from four generations. I finally did get to the point where I was easily able to toss pictures (mostly more recent ones, as those from the 1940's and before were a very rare and special thing to have in our family) when I realized just how many of each person I really had. If I felt I had enough pictures of any given person, in different stages of their life, I realized that getting rid of everthing but the best of the best was not getting rid of the person, or reducing my memories (or anyone else's in the future) of that person.

So if you already have smaller versions of those pictures, or if you have a number of pictures of him that you love, perhaps you can convince yourself that will be enough to remember him by and you can part with them. If there is any other family that might want them, please ask, and if not, just know that you aren't throwing away him or memories, just paper.

[hoosieroriginal]

If you have children, you might offer the photos to them. 

[SunValley]

If I had your dilemma, one option would be to enlist the help of my minister who would let me drop off the pictures for a respectful disposal. Since you moved, I am not sure if you have a nearby supportive friend who knew you both and might help by being there with you. It doesn't have to be a big production, just the acknowledgement of his importance to you and that this remains unchanged. 

[missy1]

Have the dates (men) said anything? 

[151949]

My first husband died when Iwas only 30 - I have been married the second time almost 33 years. I still keep pictures of my first - but I don't have them sitting around. However,  I do occasionally take them out and look at them when I am alone. Many photographs of him I sent to his children when they became adults and left their mother's home. They were teens when he died but I don't want their memories of him to fade. He was such a good dad. My stepdaughter has made a website of her family and she posts a lot of pictures there - she has pictures of her dad on there as well.When i go there to see pictures of her kids and what they are up to - it always makes me smile to see his pictures there as well.

[hennypenny]

Maybe burn them and then scatter the ashes in a favorite spot. 

[violann]

MaggieMack, it's really sweet to see you speaking of the "handsome face every time" you park the car.

If it doesn't sound creepy to you, ask him out loud the next time you're in the garage if he minds if you throw the pictures away.

We've had so many losses lately I'm tired of trying to figure out what to do or what they'd want.

Crazy thing is that somehow if I hear myself asking, sometimes an answer shows up in my brain.

Just do it when you're by yourself, LOL.

HTH

[MacDUFF]

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@hennypenny wrote:

Maybe burn them and then scatter the ashes in a favorite spot. 

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@hennypenny

I LOVE this idea!

[MaggieMack]

Oh my goodness, I am so impressed with all of the very thoughtful posts! Thank you all so much!

It is funny, once I began reading so many thoughtful responses, the one, right answer coalesced for me as if magically. I loved the jigsaw idea! But, I loved the idea of cutting into small pieces and burning them in my fire pit once it warms up, with a bunch of girlfriends, sharing a bottle of good wine. 

Your answers led me to this place, and I thank you all! Since he's been gone going on eight years, I don't have a problem posting one of the pictures that will be part of the offering to the universe, this way we can all send him off in the best RIP ever!  

[MacDUFF]

What a handsome young man, Maggie!  I think he has nice eyes and a fun smile!  I bet you made a beautiful couple in more ways than one.  How did you meet him?  How long were you married?  Tell us about him, if it would bring good memories.