Community Chat

[patticakes]

Another clarification---about 20-25 for a sit down at a country club.

[lulu2]

I'm confused as to why a grandmother would host a thank you luncheon for the bridesmaids.

[hckynut]

My usual reply. People can take advantage of you ONLY if you let them. Only you can make the decision on that factor!

[violann]

On 1/26/2015 patticakes said: Another clarification---about 20-25 for a sit down at a country club.

A lovely luncheon hosted at someone's home or in a nice small quiet place could have been manageable, but since it sounds like your wallet, and not you or your daughter, is actually what is being invited, I'd say "No thank you!"

[issiestorm]

'Sorry (not Thank You) but no way do I have something like that in my budget'. Sounds like a bunch of spongers to me. And as has been pointed out, nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.

[Marienkaefer2]

As others have said, you can just say no, you are unable to.do that. You've got to be upfront with people, even family.

[Libbylady]

On 1/26/2015 patticakes said: Another clarification---about 20-25 for a sit down at a country club.

We used to belong to a country club and perhaps there are different rules, but at the one we belonged to you couldn't do a luncheon unless you were a member. Who is the member? I am assuming they want the money, not your input?

Regardless, I would just say that you have given it some thought and it won't be possible for either of you at this time. It would be best to tell them "no" ASAP and not drag it out.

I haven't heard of a bridesmaid luncheon, but since I was only the mother of the grooms (3) I guess I wasn't reading the right magazines!!

[ROMARY]

On 1/26/2015 jackthebear said:

On 1/26/2015 ncascade said:

There is probably no way to keep peace. Sometimes that happens. I would say no,I can't afford it.

From the get go, say no I would love to but I can't afford to.

Making some kind of nice excuse will just get you roped in

Yes, good advice. The truth is the truth. And nobody should be offended by that.

[Allegheny]

Well you learn something new everyday. I never heard of a bridesmaid's luncheon. So I went and googled it. Seems that this event (if even held) is supposed to be hosted and paid for by the bride or bride & mother in appreciation to the bridesmaids for their effort and support. If they are following etiquette they should not be asking others to host this.

Anyway, just politely decline and as Chrystaltree phrased it that hosting the event does not fit into you or your daughter's budget at this time with all the other expenses that are being incurred.

[ROMARY]

They should (the friend who asked) chip in and have the shower at a more affordable place. No need to ask O/P and her DD. EDITED: Just read the previous post. You're right!!