Re: What To Gift At A Wedding

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

I have been watching The Sopranos for the first time. In the episode I saw last night they were discussing an upcoming wedding and all the gifts they'd receive. One of the women said, " Can you believe at (I forgot the name) wedding, some people didn't even cover their plate!" I immediately thought of this place lol

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@Jessie913 wrote:
@Lucky Charm wrote:
@Jessie913 wrote:
Well, Im from NY and yes it was always customary to cover your plate. Today might be a little different due to the ecomomy. (who knows? BUT I would NOT be giving only a $50. gift!! People here give that and more for a shower) My daughter is getting married at a very nice venue and it is costing 175 pp (228 total with tax and tip included.) guests are recieving an elaborate cocktail hour with 3 food stations, 4 course sit down dinner (4 entree choices) italian pastries on the table in addition to wedding cake. Fun farewell snack to take on the go. Theres even an after party! And lets not forget IT'S 5 hours of top shelf OPEN BAR! I think it is well worth the price!!
Are you paying for the venue/dinner/drinks @Jessie913 as tradition dictates?

Why would a guest be concerned about how much you pay ('cover their plate') if they are gifting your daughter and her soon- to- be spouse?

When our son married a girl from Long Island, on Long Island, we gave the same exact amount as we did our other two.

Not that it's any of your business or that it even matters, but the wedding is a joint effort. Yes we are covering the cost of the reception but there are many other expenses that the bride groom and parents of the groom are contributing to. Nobody expects anybody to cover their plate. Its a guide that a lot of people have used in my part of the country. My daughter and her future husband are happy just to have family and friends attend.

@Jessie913 then why did you bring it up?

Jessie913 · ‎01-09-2016

@CelticCrafter wrote:
@Jessie913 wrote:
@Lucky Charm wrote:
@Jessie913 wrote:
Well, Im from NY and yes it was always customary to cover your plate. Today might be a little different due to the ecomomy. (who knows? BUT I would NOT be giving only a $50. gift!! People here give that and more for a shower) My daughter is getting married at a very nice venue and it is costing 175 pp (228 total with tax and tip included.) guests are recieving an elaborate cocktail hour with 3 food stations, 4 course sit down dinner (4 entree choices) italian pastries on the table in addition to wedding cake. Fun farewell snack to take on the go. Theres even an after party! And lets not forget IT'S 5 hours of top shelf OPEN BAR! I think it is well worth the price!!
Are you paying for the venue/dinner/drinks @Jessie913 as tradition dictates?

Why would a guest be concerned about how much you pay ('cover their plate') if they are gifting your daughter and her soon- to- be spouse?

When our son married a girl from Long Island, on Long Island, we gave the same exact amount as we did our other two.

Not that it's any of your business or that it even matters, but the wedding is a joint effort. Yes we are covering the cost of the reception but there are many other expenses that the bride groom and parents of the groom are contributing to. Nobody expects anybody to cover their plate. Its a guide that a lot of people have used in my part of the country. My daughter and her future husband are happy just to have family and friends attend.
@Jessie913 then why did you bring it up?

someone asked if it was worth the price. I was comparing it to a nice dinner/evening out at a great restaurant.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
So, according to The Knot an average wedding in New York State is $48,600 which I think is a rather low quote especially for NYC and the surrounding area. Couples instead of having their wedding night tally up the checks they received. Don't think they're not commenting about how much aunt Joan or cousin Joe gave, and comparing your side and my side. Couples go into debt for a wedding and hope to at least break even.

@Jordan2 If people have that kind of money to throw around, they don't need my help. I'd stay home and send a card. Why should anyone be expected to chip in on the wedding except the couple and parents? How crude to expect it.

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

To the most recent couple in my family, I gifted scuba lessons to the couple, having learned from the bride's Mom where they would be honeymooning in Hawaii and their interest in scuba.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

I'm the OP and have always given a check as a gift, enough to cover my meal. I heard someone at work that is having their wedding at Westbury Manor in New York, the price per plate is $150-$195 per person depending on the time and day of the week of the wedding. Just speaking for myself I would give at least $200.

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

We usually give 200.00 to Family, and 100.00 for friends as a "general rule"..For Showers, I buy them something nice off of their registry either, sheets, towels, etc....

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

When my best friends kids got married they used any money they received as a gift to buy a home. Parents paid for the wedding so the kids were very happy to get the money as presents toward the home purchase. They received towels, pots and pans, etc. at the bridal shower.

buyornot · ‎03-10-2010

@on the bay wrote:
@Jordan2 ,
I've never heard of covering the cost of the meal at a wedding except for here on these forums. I don't think weddings were ever supposed to be that way.
The amounts you mention are more than I would ever imagine giving unless you are wealthy and very close to the couple.

It's always been that way, that I have known-to at least cover the meal. I'm in NY...

buyornot · ‎03-10-2010

@Jessie913 wrote:
Well, Im from NY and yes it was always customary to cover your plate. Today might be a little different due to the ecomomy. (who knows? BUT I would NOT be giving only a $50. gift!! People here give that and more for a shower) My daughter is getting married at a very nice venue and it is costing 175 pp (228 total with tax and tip included.) guests are recieving an elaborate cocktail hour with 3 food stations, 4 course sit down dinner (4 entree choices) italian pastries on the table in addition to wedding cake. Fun farewell snack to take on the go. Theres even an after party! And lets not forget IT'S 5 hours of top shelf OPEN BAR! I think it is well worth the price!!

Exactly!