Community Chat

[KKlim]

Hi…@Jordan2.. I grew up in Northern New Jersey and now live in suburb of NYC. So we both know wedding etiquette in our area!
Of course depending on your relationship w/whomever is getting married and your own financial situation, the amount u said is about right. If it’s someone u don’t know well, u could give less .

[faeriemoon]

@Jordan2   Your figures sound about right to me. I'm in CT and I would do the same. 

My husband and I give $500 as wedding gift most of the time.  If it is a close family member, we give more.

However, people need to do what their budgets allow.

[ECBG]

It seems your amount is excessively high for a non family wedding gift.

[Group 5 minus 1]

We attended a wedding where there was security and he always was w/the bride and her gift purse.

[50Mickey]

Where I'm from in the South expecting guests to "cover the cost of their meal" would be considered extremely lacking in taste and manners. One does not throw an elaborate reception bragging about the meal, the cocktails and venue and then expect guests to help pay for the cost. From reading the responses it sounds like this is a regional thing and has been going on for years in some parts of the country. 

[teganslaw]

I keep seeing articles about "bridezillas" who have unrealistic demands and about families who interfere in wedding plans. I don't know if these are real or made up stories, but they turn me off about large weddings. Just elope or have a small, intimate ceremony. Many times the large wedding is just to show off. 

[Karie2022]

I guess it depends on how close you are to them; no way would I give anyone $500…

[Karie2022]

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@Trailrun23 wrote:

I now find myself with several shower and wedding invitations between Labor day and New Year's day....one is on Christmas Eve!  I have never seen so many weddings this time of year. I am dismayed at the amount of money it is going to cost me...am up to 5 weddings. The showers seem to be endless....some of the brides are having three or four showers, and now the grooms have them also. Why would anyone need so many? Huge gift grabs iMO. I have not seen the  invites for all of them, but the save the dates have arrived as have some shower invites.  

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I agree, definitely a money grab-outrageous that there's more than 2 showers. I had two-one given by my mother in law and one from my own mom.  I would not be attending all these showers and weddings-pick the ones that are more near and dear to you.😊

[Lakelife62]

The only expectations for attending a wedding are the ones we put on ourselves. There is no minimum gift and anybody else's expectation of a proper gift is their issue, not yours.

As far as tradition goes. What is tradition but the ideas and rituals of dead people? Give any gift you are comfortable with. The bride and groom will either appreciate it or not. Again, not your issue.

Have any kind of wedding you want. People will either attend or not. The people who go are the one's you would have picked to be there anyway

And for pity's sake, if you have an attitude about the number of invites to events, the travel time, the expense or you don't approve because it's the brides 4th marriage...

Just

Don't

Go

The absence of your negative energy will be a blessing.

[Jessie913]

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@AZfem wrote:

@Jessie913  How do guests KNOW the cost per plate?  Do couples advertise it, do the mothers call everyone up & make sure guests know the cost, do couples put it on their invitations?  Does everyone know what every venue charges for every type of food?  This is so bizarre. How do guests know this?  It would never occur to me to find this out or care. Your throwing the party, you pay for it. If you can't afford it, scale down. Big extravaganzas are not a requirement to get married. 

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No no and no.  It's really not brain science  Theres always google if you have no clue. Most do in my area give or take