Community Chat

[Jordan2]

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@Janey2 wrote:

@Jordan2  Agree with the amount for gifts. If we are close to the family we give more. When my children got married those were the average amounts for gifts that was given. 

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@Janey2 thank you for agreeing with me, that's the price you pay for living in the Tri-State area. My sister and her husband gave each of his nieces $1,000 when they got married. My parents made a Bar Mitzvah for my brother in the 60's (my parents weren't rich but made a very nice affair). Anyway my mother's cousin came with her husband and two teens and gave $25!  I know it was the 60's but that was really cheap of them, and they were well to do. 

[occasionalrain]

We only attend weddings of those who are close friends or relatives and give a generous check.

I don't attend showers because I find them in poor taste.

[gidgetgh]

I absolutely do NOT give a wedding gift thinking I need to cover the cost of my "plate". It's not my responsibility to do that.

If they want to throw a party (aka wedding and reception) and invite me to the big event, they need to pay. 

No one that I know has ever felt they needed to "cover their plate". I never even read about this until I started posting here many years ago. 

[LdyBugz]

Well, I'm originally from the midwest.  Back there, in the '70s, it was customary for a guest to give a cash gift that would cover the cost of their meal.  So most people back then would give a gift of ~$50+ per person.  

That was back then though, and couples in my realm weren't having big, extravaganza, over the top weddings like most couples seem to do today.

Times have certainly changed.  My opinion on gift giving in today's world is that guests attending any celebration should only give what their budget allows, whether that means just a card with a handwritten sentiment or a cash gift that suits their wallet.  No guest should ever feel obligated to do more than they can reasonably do, no matter who the recipient of the gift is.

Just as important, recipients of gifts and whoever is hosting a venue should not expect gifts that they think is reasonable, or expect guests to subsidize their event.  

[eddyandme]

If it were my wedding, I would be especially pleased to have

attendees donate to an animal rescue of their choice.

The usual is money, but a special donation in honor of a special day would be most meaningful and appreciatedimho.

[AZfem]

The wedding industrial complex has gotten our of hand. If I had to pay $250 per person, $500 per couple to go to someone's party, I would RSVP NO.  I would use that money to go to a restraunt I wanted to go to, theatre concert with a headliner, weekend trip, etc. To pay that much for a dinner that may not be your favorite is ridiculous IMO.  Is it that important to go to weddings (unless your very close to couple)?

[QVCkitty1]

If you have the wedding you can afford, guests don't have to " cover their meal ."

[Puppy Lips]

I would never give more than $100.

[Spacrazy]

Even if I could afford it I feel $500 is excessive (outside my immediate family, of course).

[Tori3569]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

I have always given a  check as a gift to the couple. I was talking to some people as to what you give these days as a single person or couple attending a wedding. It is kind of customary to cover the cost of the meal, I suppose it depends on what part of the country you come from as to how much you give. I go to weddings in NYC, Long Island, and New Jersey. I think as a single person I would give $200-$250, as a couple $500. What are your thoughts on this?

I guess it's a NYC tristate thing, so yes to covering the cost of the meal and yes to $200-$250 for a gift from a single person.   However, for someone I work with or not a close friend or family member, I have sent a gift from a registry to their home instead of a check. 

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