Community Chat

[Sage04]

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

---

@ManyMeows wrote:

🙄😏 When one RSVP's, and they included a check to cover the cost of food and alcohol consumption, along with a reasonable gratuity, are they still expected to bring a gift?

---

@ManyMeows  The check is the gift.

@proudlyfromNJ  and @ManyMeows  I've never heard of anyone enclosing a check when responding.

That's strange.

---

[Sage04]

So glad my friends aren't expecting anyone to pay for their meal. Reading things like this make me laugh.

[proudlyfromNJ]

---

@Sage04 wrote:

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

---

@ManyMeows wrote:

🙄😏 When one RSVP's, and they included a check to cover the cost of food and alcohol consumption, along with a reasonable gratuity, are they still expected to bring a gift?

---

@ManyMeows  The check is the gift.

@proudlyfromNJ  and @ManyMeows  I've never heard of anyone enclosing a check when responding.

That's strange.

---

---

@Sage04 You don't enclose a check when responding. The check is the gift which is given to the couple at the wedding. Some guests give a check and some give a gift. 

[Jessie913]

---

@Sage04 wrote:

So glad my friends aren't expecting anyone to pay for their meal. Reading things like this make me laugh.

---

its just semantics.  Used as a guide

[chrystaltree]

It depends on my relationship to the couple first.  I give more to family.  Then it depends on the type of wedding.  More for a big, lavish wedding than a small garden affair.  I don't even think about the covering the cost of the meal.  It's a wedding, not  dinner theatre.  I'm not buying a ticket.  The last wedding we went to was the daughter of a very dest friend. I have known the bride since she was a kid.  Hubby and I both went, we gave them a check for $300.  I had also gone to the bridal shower and gifted a set of sheets and towels.  That was probably $100.  

[AZfem]

How are people supposed to know the per plate cost?  Call the venue?  What if it's a buffet or backyard casual or beach wedding? 

Give what you can afford & want to based on relationship with the couple.

If people want to spend a fortune for a wedding, that's their decision, their party, their choice. Not mine. Why should I subsidize someone's party?  Not my circus or choice.

[Trinity11]

---

@Jessie913 wrote:

Well, Im from NY and yes it was always customary to cover your plate. Today might be a little different due to the ecomomy. (who knows? BUT I would NOT be giving only a $50. gift!!  People here give that and more for a shower) My daughter is getting married at a very nice venue and it is costing 175 pp (228 total with tax and tip included.)  guests are recieving an elaborate cocktail hour with 3 food stations, 4 course sit down dinner (4 entree choices) italian pastries on the table in addition to wedding cake.   Fun farewell snack to take on the go.  Theres even an after party!  And lets not forget IT'S 5 hours of top shelf OPEN BAR!  I think it is well worth the price!!  

---

My son was married in Sept of 2021 with a reception overlooking the New York skyline @Jessie913 . Same venue as you described. However, he specifically wanted friends and family to know that no gifts were necessary. He was 36, well established in his career and just wanted his guests to share with him a day celebrating their love. 

[Sage04]

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

---

@Sage04 wrote:

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

---

@ManyMeows wrote:

🙄😏 When one RSVP's, and they included a check to cover the cost of food and alcohol consumption, along with a reasonable gratuity, are they still expected to bring a gift?

---

@ManyMeows  The check is the gift.

@proudlyfromNJ  and @ManyMeows  I've never heard of anyone enclosing a check when responding.

That's strange.

---

---

@Sage04 You don't enclose a check when responding. The check is the gift which is given to the couple at the wedding. Some guests give a check and some give a gift. 

@ManyMeowsmentioned RSVP and enclosing a Check so I thought things had changed.

---

[LizzieInSRQ]

---

@Jordan2 wrote:

I have always given a  check as a gift to the couple. I was talking to some people as to what you give these days as a single person or couple attending a wedding. It is kind of customary to cover the cost of the meal, I suppose it depends on what part of the country you come from as to how much you give. I go to weddings in NYC, Long Island, and New Jersey. I think as a single person I would give $200-$250, as a couple $500. What are your thoughts on this?

---

My Rule is i give as much or little as i want. If im single, double or if im tripled even. Lol 

Even if there are "rules" in your region...i could not care less about sticking to old traditions and PRESSURE. No way, no how. They are luckly to get gifts. Period. 

[jannabelle1]

I'm in the Midwest, and $50 to $100 would be closer to the average here. $500 would be for grandparents or parents to give. As for covering the cost of a meal, that's not common at all - in fact, I've never heard of doing that! I guess you go with what you can afford and how close the couple is to you.