Community Chat

[tansy]

Noel, are you referring to my post? The incident I had with a poster throwing that term around was several months ago.

[lulu2]

For some posters it seems to mean anyone who has a history of disagreeing  with them.

[NoelSeven]

tansy, no I was not referring to your post.  You are not passive-aggressive. 

I'll just say that lulu and I are in agreement.

[jaxs mom]

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@SydneyH wrote:

It can manifest in many forms, but the worst offenders here will post a mocking comment with no explanation.  Then when you call them on it, they'll claim, unsucessfully I'll add, ignorance, lol.

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That's not actually the definition of passive agressive. Being passive agressive is pursposely obstructing or undermining in a non agressive way. IE being purposely late so  as to annoy people,  Pretending to forget something or purposly losing something so as to sabotage the plans of another. Insulting someone with a backhanded compliment. Ignoring people to their face, IE you're mad at your husband and instead of discussing why you just completely ignore anything he says to you. 

[tansy]

Thanks, Noel. I'm in agreement with lulu. Too.

[wilma]

What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?
Written by counsellor/psychotherapist: Andrea Harrn

Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. Instead of communicating honestly when you feel upset, annoyed, irritated or disappointed you may instead bottle the feelings up, shut off verbally, give angry looks, make obvious changes in behaviour, be obstructive, sulky or put up a stone wall. It may also involve indirectly resisting requests from others by evading or creating confusion around the issue. Not going along with things. It can either be covert (concealed and hidden) or overt (blatant and obvious).

A passive aggressive might not always show that they are angry or resentful. They might appear in agreement, polite, friendly, down-to-earth, kind and well-meaning. However, underneath there may be manipulation going on - hence the term "Passive-Aggressive".

Some examples of passive aggression might be:

Non-Communication when there is clearly something to discuss

Obstructing - deliberately stalling or preventing an event or process of change

Ambiguity - Being cryptic, unclear, not fully engaging in conversations

Sulking - Being silent, morose, sullen and resentful in order to get attention or sympathy.

Chronic Lateness - A way to put you in control over others and their expectations

Chronic Forgetting - Shows a blatant disrespect and disregard for others to punish in some way

Making Excuses - Always coming up with reasons for not doing things

Victimization - Unable to look at their own part in a situation will turn the tables to become the victim and will behave like one

Self-Pity - the poor me scenario

Blaming others for situations rather than being able to take responsibility for your own actions or being able to take an objective view of the situation

Learned Helplessness where a person continually acts like they can’t help themselves – deliberately doing a poor job of something for which they are often explicitly responsible

[jaxs mom]

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@tansy wrote:
I'm not giving this a serious answer but it's a term thrown out here too often about a poster. It's akin to "someone's off her meds".

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Yes, often inaccurately thrown around. The same way that people claim they are being personally attacked when someone corrects their mistaken information or disagrees with their opinion. 

[SydneyH]

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@lulu2 wrote:

For some posters it seems to mean anyone who has a history of disagreeing  with them.

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Agreed, some of the meltdowns are epic, lol.

[newziesuzie]

IamMrsG, I'm getting those error messages as well.
Weird.

Everybody Thanks for the posts!

😊

[hckynutjohn]

To those that use this as an excuse for criminal behavior? Most of the time I think it is a copout much like the "insanity plea" for those that committ murder. Of course they are insane, but not by the legal definition, which is:  "did they know from wrong at the time they did the crime"?

For a simpleton like me? I see an overly pessimistic person who views the whole world as being against them, and use that as a reason(excuse) for their actions, but moreso for their inactions. To procrastinate/take rather than give and just being an all around a whole.