Community Chat

[occasionalrain]

If something unforeseen happened to change wedding plans, a fire. Illness, job loss... someone, family member, bridesmaids, should have contacted all those affected with the change of plans and given the reason.

There is no shortage of information on wedding etiquette, and no excuse to disregard it. 

[Isobel Archer]

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@RollTide2008 wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

@Isobel Archer 

My feeling as well. Those who are responsible for sending save the date cards deserve to be called to account.

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There are so many reasons this could happen, some of which could be personal tragedy for the bride and groom.  What if they scaled back because one of them got laid off or diagnosed with a serious health condition or there was a death in the immediate family?  OP was clearly already a B list invitee so she might not be aware if something like that happened.  Why not just let it go?

It happened to me once when the contracted venue burned down and the bride and groom needed to move to a smaller venue.  They had enough on their plate without me acting like petulant child asking where my invitation was.

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Then I think it would be common courtesy to notify those who were sent STD cards that due to tragic unforseen circumstances, the list had to be cut down.

I would not be a "petulant child" demanding my invitation - thanks for your assumption, but if you read my previous post you'd have known that  what I would do is send an email saying that I was so sorry, but I must decline (and since my invitation must be lost in the mail) I can't use the RSVP card, but I did want to let them know.

I'm not sure how ignoring people helps anything.  If they actually think they invited you - then they must wonder why you didn't respond.  And now you are the rude one.

[San Antonio Gal]

I haven't read all the responses, but my vote is to call and find out since you went thru the trouble of changing your plans to accomodate this wedding.

Maybe the wedding was called off.  Maybe you shouldn't have changed your plans.  Call and find out @Trailrun23 .

[dancing 522queen]

Definitely call maybe it got lost in the mail...

I would think if any wedding changes were made you should

of gotten a call since you did a get a save the date....

[Isobel Archer]

I wouldn't call - and have an awkward conversation where I ended up being the bad guy because now I was somehow putting them on the spot.

I think emailing and declining (because since my invitation must have gotten lost and I didn't have the RSVP card  I didn't want them to think I was rude in not responding) is sufficient.  It may be too subtle for them to actually realize their own rudneness if, in fact, they cut me from the list, but it's the best action I can think of under the circumstances.

And frankly, if I'd heard nothing from them since the STD, I'd be pretty sure they didn't intend to actually invite me.

[LakeGil23]

I would call you fiend

[occasionalrain]

@Isobel Archer 

That's the perfect solution. 

[Stray]

I like save the date as I book vacations well in advance so it helps me to know a wedding date if the person is significant to me. It’s proper etiquette to send a wedding invitation if you’ve asked them to save the date.

However, I’d not call & not send a gift.