Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Travone wrote:

@sidsmom wrote:

@haddon9 wrote:

To give a contribution to a charity instead of a gift to me is tacky and not very nice.


Giving a check on the day of the wedding (‘too bad’) or ‘out of spite’

is ridiculous. People get puffy chested saying it’s tacky & crazy

and doing this/that to somehow prove something to this couple.

It’s so incredibly small & petty.

If one wants to ‘show them’, don’t go.


IMO to ask for money is tacky.  What is the difference between this and setting up a Go Fund me Page for a vacation. 

@Travone   What the difference between giving for a honeymoon & a gift registry?  It's still "asking" for a gift.  This is a wedding gift not a general "go fund me page".

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@Rockycoast wrote:

Telling guests what to give for a wedding gift is a No No. Tacky.  Asking for money outright is as another poster said just a money grab.  Ugh.  If you must succumb to their demands, write a check and bring it to the wedding and put it in the card well.   smh

@Rockycoast   No need to shake your's only a suggestion not a requirement.  One can still give what they want.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,276
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

@LilysmomLooks like a money grab to me, also.  If couples get married and want a nice honeymoon, save for it like most of us did.  Why do something you can't afford.  I could go on and on, but I'd get bashed badly.  

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Whether it's a registry or honeymoon fund, it should only be given to those invited who ask. The exception is a registry for a shower that's only purpose is to give gifts.

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Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: Wedding gift question

[ Edited ]

@panda1234 wrote:

We are invited to a wedding and the couple is requesting money for their honeymoon. They have setup a website for you to pick different things that you might want your money to go to....hotel room, meals, flight. My question is, how far in advance do you give the money? They would need it way before the wedding in order to make the necessary reservations. Has anyone done this before? Wedding is in November, should we give the gift now?

Yes we did it through the company that the bride and groom gave to contribute. What I didn't particularly like is that they didn't seem to get a list of who gave what and they never sent out thank you notes. Apparently, the company took a percentage too of the gift. We gave the moment the invitation was opened.


Next time, I will just give a check if anyone asks for money for the honeymoon.

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Registered: ‎10-01-2013

I would put a check in a card and give it to them at the reception. I wouldn't give it any further thought. 

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Registered: ‎07-26-2019

For me this would be easy as I usually  give money as a present  for weddings, birthdays , baby showers , ect.  I do understand that most people prefer to giving a gift that they choose  . Money is one way to prevent duplicate  gifts which can happen even when you have a gift registery.  Money is also a good vehicle for those who  would like to buy a big gift for someone but  can't afford  to buy an expensive  gift .  Sometimes families , coworkers and friends  contribute together as a group to purchase an expensive gift or provide a gift certificate  as a gift.  I've had the experience where I've had a gift certificate to a particular store  and could not find  one thing that suited me. I was very appreciative of the gift  but  It was a big bummer  . I've had the experience of  receiving duplicate gifts .  If you've ever received duplicate babay shower gifts  , it's not fun dragging  playpens or big heavy car seats  or other baby gear around to exchange . Stores make alot of money on unredeemed gift cards or expired gift cards  . I had read about this sometime ago .

I'd send the money about 1 month in advance .

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Posts: 40,805
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Wedding gift question

[ Edited ]

i have no problem purchasing a "honeymoon gift" and have done it several times. is it really any different than giving a cash/check gift? its a registry and the couple probably has everything they need. it makes it a lot easier to handle the gift giving. i have purchased things like a spa couples masage, drinks on the ship, an excursion for two. they are making memories.


if you dont want to contribute to the "honeymoon gitf" website or give a gift of cash or a check, then buy them the gift you would choose and make sure it is returnable.


no one needs to have 15 crystal vases or ten blenders.......


i like to send a wedding gift or purchase something from their registry about a month in advance. if giving cash or a check, then i hand it to them at the reception or add it to a wedding box.

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,168
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

This cash grabbing strikes me as tacky beyond belief.  If the couple already has the resources to set up house together, they might consider saying: "No gifts for us, please.  We will be blessed enough by your presence at our wedding.  If you nevertheless wish to give something beyond that, we'd welcome a donation to a children's hospital of your choice (e.g., St. Jude's, Shriners, Children's Inn at NIH) in our honor."  I'm not holding my breath, though...

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Posts: 2,066
Registered: ‎10-14-2016


@travone   What the difference between giving for a honeymoon & a gift registry?  It's still "asking" for a gift.  This is a wedding gift not a general "go fund me page"."


The origin of the bridal shower was to "gift" the couple with things they needed to start their life together.  Culture seems to have gotten away from that.


None of my friends or family have ever asked for money.  In fact, most who are already living together or are marrying later in life don't have wedding showers because they don't need anything. Many also ask for a donation to a charity instead of money or gifts at the wedding.


I stand by my comment if you have everything you need, it is tacky to ask for money for a vacation.  A wedding is to share the day, not to fund your next vacation.


This is my opinion, it will not change and as I said before we will have to agree to disagree on this subject......over and out for me.