Community Chat

[sidsmom]

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@haddon9 wrote:

To give a contribution to a charity instead of a gift to me is tacky and not very nice.

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ITA!

Giving a check on the day of the wedding (‘too bad’) or ‘out of spite’

is ridiculous. People get puffy chested saying it’s tacky & crazy

and doing this/that to somehow prove something to this couple.

It’s so incredibly small & petty.

If one wants to ‘show them’, don’t go.

🙄

[Travone]

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@sidsmom wrote:

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@haddon9 wrote:

To give a contribution to a charity instead of a gift to me is tacky and not very nice.

---

ITA!

Giving a check on the day of the wedding (‘too bad’) or ‘out of spite’

is ridiculous. People get puffy chested saying it’s tacky & crazy

and doing this/that to somehow prove something to this couple.

It’s so incredibly small & petty.

If one wants to ‘show them’, don’t go.

🙄

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IMO to ask for money is tacky.  What is the difference between this and setting up a Go Fund me Page for a vacation. 

[Remar]

Panda123. I agree with everyone  that said asking for money is tacky. Is the bride going to have a shower? If so and if you're invited you could give a check to her then.

Couples asking for moey for their honeymoon can't have the honeymoon set up for the day after their wedding because they don't know how much money they'll get before and during their wedding day.

It was about 10 years ago when I first heard of couples doing this. Friends of the family were getting married. They asked for honeymoon money on their invitations. I just couldn't believe they did that.

My husband and I have always given a check as a gift at the reception. We'll continue to do this.

Usually the brides parents pay for the wedding. And usually the engagement lasts for a year. I think the couple should save for their honeymoon. If they get cash at their reception then great. Use the money to do some extra things.

I just think it's rude to ask for money. If I were you I would give a check in the amount you had planned to spend on a gift. They can always plan their honeymoon after checks clear and they count how much cash they received. 

[kaydee50]

If it were me, I would do what I've always done for people getting married.  A check at the reception.  What they do with it, is up to them but I agree with others that to ask for money to specifcally pay for the honeymoon is tacky.  I always take the "registry" as just a suggestion as to what the couple might need and feel no obligation to buy anything from it.

[sidsmom]

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@Travone wrote:

---

@sidsmom wrote:

---

@haddon9 wrote:

To give a contribution to a charity instead of a gift to me is tacky and not very nice.

---

ITA!

Giving a check on the day of the wedding (‘too bad’) or ‘out of spite’

is ridiculous. People get puffy chested saying it’s tacky & crazy

and doing this/that to somehow prove something to this couple.

It’s so incredibly small & petty.

If one wants to ‘show them’, don’t go.

🙄

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IMO to ask for money is tacky.  What is the difference between this and setting up a Go Fund me Page for a vacation. 

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Absolutely no difference.

But if I was invited, I probably know the couple and

wish them the same happiness & good luck as if I gave 

them a registered gravy boat.

Pssssst.....it’s not about you. 

🤷‍♀️

[occasionalrain]

While giving a gift is proper etiquette, assuming/requesting a gift is the opposite. They may as well charge admission.

[Travone]

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@sidsmom wrote:

---

@Travone wrote:

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@sidsmom wrote:

---

@haddon9 wrote:

To give a contribution to a charity instead of a gift to me is tacky and not very nice.

---

ITA!

Giving a check on the day of the wedding (‘too bad’) or ‘out of spite’

is ridiculous. People get puffy chested saying it’s tacky & crazy

and doing this/that to somehow prove something to this couple.

It’s so incredibly small & petty.

If one wants to ‘show them’, don’t go.

🙄

---

IMO to ask for money is tacky.  What is the difference between this and setting up a Go Fund me Page for a vacation. 

---

Absolutely no difference.

But if I was invited, I probably know the couple and

wish them the same happiness & good luck as if I gave 

them a registered gravy boat.

Pssssst.....it’s not about you. 

🤷‍♀️

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I agree it's not about the guests.  It should about the couple wanting to spend their special day with family and friends.  It should not be about the gift at all.....that is why I think the couple specifically asking for money is tacky. 

We will have to agree to disagree about this.  Regardless, I hope the couple has a long and happy marriage.

[Eileen in Virginia]

I saw this at the last 2 weddings we attended. I chose not to deposit money to the online accounts, preferring to give them a check at their weddings. In both cases, the honeymoon fund was part of their wedding registries (both couples had registries for gifts, as well). I bought their shower gifts through the registries and began getting emails from the registry companies shortly thereafter. So I’d recommend waiting until a month before the wedding to make a deposit to the honeymoon fund or giving them a check at the wedding. 

[JJsMom]

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@Travone wrote:

---

@sidsmom wrote:

---

@haddon9 wrote:

To give a contribution to a charity instead of a gift to me is tacky and not very nice.

---

ITA!

Giving a check on the day of the wedding (‘too bad’) or ‘out of spite’

is ridiculous. People get puffy chested saying it’s tacky & crazy

and doing this/that to somehow prove something to this couple.

It’s so incredibly small & petty.

If one wants to ‘show them’, don’t go.

🙄

---

IMO to ask for money is tacky.  What is the difference between this and setting up a Go Fund me Page for a vacation. 

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How is asking for money for something specific any different than registering for gifts, which is considered totally socially acceptable? I see no difference, and I prefer to give money because you know they can get exactly what they need.

Yes, I would give the money now if possible.

[Suziepeach]

I'd still send or take a regular gift to the wedding and let it go.  If they can afford the wedding & etc. then they should be able to afford their own honeymoon..

If I were to give money to any sort of honeymoon fund then by golly they'd better bring me a souvenir, LOL ..