Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

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@Jackaranda wrote:

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@Melania2 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

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They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

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I always decline when it is a cash only wedding. Most couples are sensible and don't make such ridiculous requests.

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If you decline an invitation because cash was requested, which you actually prefer to give as a gift, then what do you give them? Or do you not send a gift at all?

[Nancy Drew]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

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@Melania2 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

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They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

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I always decline when it is a cash only wedding. Most couples are sensible and don't make such ridiculous requests.

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If you decline an invitation because cash was requested, which you actually prefer to give as a gift, then what do you give them? Or do you not send a gift at all?

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Oh I just don't go so need for a gift.

[colliegirls]

They also requested a cash only shower gift.  No other options given.  Nothing wrong with giving cash as a gift, but I think it is in poor taste to ask for it only.

[Nancy Drew]

Yes it is the "request" . This isn't a child Santa,s list.

[suzyQ3]

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@Jackaranda wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

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@Melania2 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

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They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

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I always decline when it is a cash only wedding. Most couples are sensible and don't make such ridiculous requests.

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If you decline an invitation because cash was requested, which you actually prefer to give as a gift, then what do you give them? Or do you not send a gift at all?

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Oh I just don't go so need for a gift.

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Really? Well, you're not obligated. But unless the invitation to me came from an almost perfect stranger or my worst enemy, I would send at the least a small token, be it cash or gift, out of respect for either the friendship or family relationship.

[CelticCrafter]

I don't think giving cash is tacky.  

I think the couple asking for it is.

[Nancy Drew]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

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@Melania2 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

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They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

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I always decline when it is a cash only wedding. Most couples are sensible and don't make such ridiculous requests.

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If you decline an invitation because cash was requested, which you actually prefer to give as a gift, then what do you give them? Or do you not send a gift at all?

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Oh I just don't go so need for a gift.

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Really? Well, you're not obligated. But unless the invitation to me came from an almost perfect stranger or my worst enemy, I would send at the least a small token, be it cash or gift, out of respect for either the friendship or family relationship.

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And that is your choice. You do you and I do me.

[suzyQ3]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

I don't think giving cash is tacky.  

I think the couple asking for it is.

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Yes. It's not something I could imagine doing. That said, if I had cared about the couple or felt that attending the wedding was a good choice on my part for whatever reason,  I would just abide by their wishes and let it go.

[debic]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@debc wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

Registries don't make sense for everyone. They made a lot of sense when people married very young and went from living at home or at college to starting a new home with a spouse. Now people are living on their own a while before they get married. They have linens and kitchenware and they're trying to figure out which ones to get rid of, not which they need more of. 

Meanwhile, many of them are in debt and will be paying student loans for decades and they need money more than they need things.

It may seem crass, but isn't the idea behind a wedding gift is giving the couple something that will help them start their new life together in comfort? And if that's the case, what's the better gift: a $70 place setting they don't need or the $70 you would have spent on the place setting that they can use to help pay down debt or go on a honeymoon they can't afford because they're paying student loans?

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Sorry, if they're going to want a fancy traditional wedding they should stick to the script of the wedding registry as well.  If they have debts they should be using the money they are spending on the wedding.   We went to Vegas and our family has a very small reception for us.  Family and best friends only. 

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Your mandate that if they want a nice wedding, then by gosh, they had better toe the line and stick to the script sounds so harsh.

Scripts change over time and depending upon circumstances. Gee, I even happen to remember a time when there weren't wedding registries.

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...

Probably sounds a lot harsher than I meant it.  I was mostly going by the post I quoted saying they had a lot of debt and would rather have money.   I can't see wasting possibly thousands on a wedding in that case.

[debic]

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Yes it is the "request" . This isn't a child Santa,s list.

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....

LOL, that reminds me of my youngest son telling me that I wasn't allowed to by oldest son's kids clothes for Christmas.   He told me it was a rip off gift cause little kids had to get no matter what.     No idea where that came from as he never got clothes for that or his birthday.   He must have had a very disappointed friend.