Community Chat

[Anniecamp]

Life's too short to get easily offended.

[missy1]

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@jackthebear wrote:

do brides/grooms farm out sending invitations? if so it is their responsiblity to be sure that addresses and names are correct. 

In this case declining the invitation is correct, she hasn't seen the person in 30 years probably won't again.

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Are couples these days that lazy, to not  address their own invitations? They don't seem to give thank you cards out, either. 

[Blahblahvampemer]

Anniecamp, where is all this hostility you mention?

[IamMrsG]

Other than one recent funeral, you have not seen this cousin for decades.  

I do not understand why anyone would change their plans to the extent you and your DH did, based on second hand information no less, for what amounts to strangers.   I think you made a bad decision.

[Shorty2U]

I think it may have been an innocent mistake. However I can say this, i dont like when I get invited to anything by people who havent bothered with me for all of those years with not even a phone call, I decline those type of invites.

[suzyQ3]

So what are you getting them? Jk, jk.

[Abrowneyegirl]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

So what are you getting them? Jk, jk.

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This made me LOL!  

[Campion]

Well, that is kind of odd.

I'd assume that someone preparing the guest list for a wedding would correct the names of the invitees. Usually, more than one person in the family is assisting in the job of preparing the guest list, so someone would know you were married. 

But you remarked: "My husband and I had a pleasant conversation with him and his fiance.   They are both legal professions." 

So they knew you were married and pulled a dodge (possibly) to invite just one--because weddings can be $100 per guest or more these days. Or they offloaded the guest list and the person performing the task goofed up.

My bottom line guess is they never intended you to attend and it was a backhanded way of saying "don't come, but feel free to send a nice gift." But who knows?

Because your husband wasn't invited and this is not a close relative, you did exactly right. 

[debic]

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@Campion wrote:

Well, that is kind of odd.

I'd assume that someone preparing the guest list for a wedding would correct the names of the invitees. Usually, more than one person in the family is assisting in the job of preparing the guest list, so someone would know you were married. 

But you remarked: "My husband and I had a pleasant conversation with him and his fiance.   They are both legal professions." 

So they knew you were married and pulled a dodge (possibly) to invite just one--because weddings can be $100 per guest or more these days. Or they offloaded the guest list and the person performing the task goofed up.

My bottom line guess is they never intended you to attend and it was a backhanded way of saying "don't come, but feel free to send a nice gift." But who knows?

Because your husband wasn't invited and this is not a close relative, you did exactly right. 

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.....

This ^^^

[Abrowneyegirl]

OP Here:

I have thought about some of the comments and thoughts shared here.....

Old Address book:  No, We moved here after I was married.  Someone went out of their way to get my current address, but not my married name or even my DH first name. (or should I say remember it, since we spent time with them at the funeral)

The invites came from the Bride/Groom-to-be as it was their address on envelopes.

In my opinion if you are planning an event where you are dictating what people wear (black tie) at a formal setting, and expecting a gift; the LEAST you can do is follow decent etiquette and manners.

Am I angry, bitter or losing sleep about this, NO.