Community Chat

[scatcat]

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@JeanLouiseFinchwrote:

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@CelticCrafterwrote:

Oh I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I will.

Not invited to the ceremony, just the reception, sounds like a gift grab to me.

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@CelticCrafter  I think it's safe to say, at least a few of us were thinkign the same thing.  Me included.

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Not me. Not a gift grab 

[Allegheny]

If you hadn't gone to the website, which many don't, then you would have assumed you were invited to the ceremony.  My husband didn't visit the website when his great niece recently married.

I agree with others, the invitations were not thought out well and thus created confusion.

In our family, no one would be uncomfortable about being asked for clarification. 

If this is a "great" nephew with no close relationship to you/DH and attending the ceremony isn't meaningful to you, I wouldn't bother asking for clarification.

[SahmIam]

@petepetey To answer your question: you are not invited to the ceremony, only to the reception. 

[kitcat51]

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@proudlyfromNJwrote:

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@kitcat51wrote:

There are going to be people who don't check the website, I wouldn't. I'm amazed at what couples expect, for the 2nd time a gift was returned to me for not meeting their $$$$ request so am I going to sent a more expensive gift...NO! I'll just a note acknowledging I received the returned gift & my best wishes.

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@kitcat51.  You had a gift returned because it wasn't expensive enough? I don't understand.

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I know it's hard to believe but the first time the gifts were expected to be $150.00+ & this time they wanted gifts to cover some of the cost the of the ceremony, reception & honeymoon so $250.00+. Both times a small card was included in the wedding invitations for a gift list website, who to make checks out to & letting you know a cash box would be at the  reception. I ignored that nonsense & sent lovely reasonably priced gifts, both times they were returned...just ridiculous!

[proudlyfromNJ]

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@kitcat51wrote:

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@proudlyfromNJwrote:

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@kitcat51wrote:

There are going to be people who don't check the website, I wouldn't. I'm amazed at what couples expect, for the 2nd time a gift was returned to me for not meeting their $$$$ request so am I going to sent a more expensive gift...NO! I'll just a note acknowledging I received the returned gift & my best wishes.

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@kitcat51.  You had a gift returned because it wasn't expensive enough? I don't understand.

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I know it's hard to believe but the first time the gifts were expected to be $150.00+ & this time they wanted gifts to cover some of the cost the of the ceremony, reception & honeymoon so $250.00+. Both times a small card was included in the wedding invitations for a gift list website, who to make checks out to & letting you know a cash box would be at the  reception. I ignored that nonsense & sent lovely reasonably priced gifts, both times they were returned...just ridiculous!

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@kitcat51. That is unbelievable! Returning the gift for a more expensive one is extremely rude. I'd wash my hands of those people.

[Isobel Archer]

I'm confused too.   You receive a printed invitation - which includes the time and place of the ceremony.

Did the invitation tell you to go to the website for further information - which then tells you that you are not really invited to the ceremony so disregard the invitation to it that you received?

Otherwise, how would you even know you were supposed to disregard the printed invitation?

Who does something like this?  Why?

[Cakers3]

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@occasionalrainwrote:

Private wedding ceremonies are not uncommon followed by larger receptions. It's neither tacky nor a gift grab since receptions/dinners are expensive. What's tacky and a gift grab is to be invited only to the ceremony.

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@occasionalrain  I have to agree with this.  Although I would say that the invitations could have been worded in a more gracious manner.

2 sets of invitations would have solved any misunderstanding.

We don't know who was being left out of the ceremony; the bride and groom may not have sent invites with notes to anyone else except immediate members of both families.  After all, this isn't just the groom's family but the bride's, too.

I wouldn't call; the invite is obvious.

[petepetey]

I still say it's confusing

The invitation only has the date/time/location for the wedding ceremony. No mention of the cocktail party.

The online RSVP (no mail-in rsvp) says 6:30 wedding -accept or regret--which are attached to our names. 

Again, doesn't matter to me, just want to understand.

The wedding info online says FORMAL

The invitation doesn't say that or anything. 

[petepetey]

The wedding invitation DOES NOT say to go to a web site for more information.