Community Chat

[traveler]

I like the second one by Sherry Turkle. What category I it in?

[MickD]

I think carlson was a cognitive behavioralist or something very similar. It is so very true..."I think therefore I am". One of the best therapy tools is cognitive behavioral as one can literally change his/her life every single day. Example I hate Mondays. Why? too much laundry. How can I change that? take a break and do something fun...read a book.

And to add...this isn't a cure all...it's just to get through the tough times. It doesn't make the stress, anxiety, depression go away, it is a way of reframing a moment in time to get through the day. It's like sitting in traffic for hours...it can s*ck or you can put on some good tunes or a book on tape and go with the flow...

[LilacTree]

I had a boyfriend once who didn't even go to his best friend's funeral (who died at 42 from a massive heart attack). I expected him to go with me. He and his whole family did not go, did not send flowers, did not send a card. He said to me "I don't do funerals."

I had to have a minor hospital procedure and he drove me to the hospital front entrance and let me out. "I don't do hospitals."

Are people like this afraid of their emotions? Or do they just not care?

[stevieb]

Nothing new here... This has largely been the main tenet of cognitive psychology for years. There's truth to it, but I agree, the mere observation is a bit superficial. If we could all control our minds and thought processes, we'd likely be better off, but merely observing that likelihood does little to help people learn to do so.

[Libbie Hill]

On 2/17/2014 MickD said:

I think carlson was a cognitive behavioralist or something very similar. It is so very true..."I think therefore I am". One of the best therapy tools is cognitive behavioral as one can literally change his/her life every single day. Example I hate Mondays. Why? too much laundry. How can I change that? take a break and do something fun...read a book.

And to add...this isn't a cure all...it's just to get through the tough times. It doesn't make the stress, anxiety, depression go away, it is a way of reframing a moment in time to get through the day. It's like sitting in traffic for hours...it can s*ck or you can put on some good tunes or a book on tape and go with the flow...

That makes sense to me kind of like a coping mechanism.

[Libbie Hill]

On 2/17/2014 Ford1224 said:

I had a boyfriend once who didn't even go to his best friend's funeral (who died at 42 from a massive heart attack). I expected him to go with me. He and his whole family did not go, did not send flowers, did not send a card. He said to me "I don't do funerals."

I had to have a minor hospital procedure and he drove me to the hospital front entrance and let me out. "I don't do hospitals."

Are people like this afraid of their emotions? Or do they just not care?

I don't think it's because people like that don't care but again, I think it is a coping mechanism. We all deal with sadness and grief in our own way. There's no right or wrong way, only what works for us.

[Catitude]

I have a friend who says "I don't do flying" and rather than deal with his fear of flying, he sits home while everyone else around him travels and enjoys their lives. He will take a train or boat but no planes. Some people are just stuck on stuck. And I have another friend who doesn't drive because she is afraid but makes every excuse for her phobia never admitting there is a fear but instead is Blaming crazy drivers and other imaginary scenarios for the reasons why she's trapped at home.

[MickD]

Stevieb~ I agree with you..the Carlson quote was superficial and I don't think it encompasses the full scope of what his work was/is (he's gotta be dead..). A person has to recognize, define, come up with a plan in order to work on an issue(s). It's a daily assignment. It worked successfully (maybe 80%ish) with my clients who were having problems, because they could write their feelings, thoughts, actions down and actually see improvements. I think this is pretty good results given being in a funk....

[MickD]

Opurrra ~ denial can be a wonderful thing....not! denial - avoidance - can lead to phobias when not treated. But it can feel very comfortable blaming others for the problem....

[bikerbabe]

On 2/17/2014 Ford1224 said:

I had a boyfriend once who didn't even go to his best friend's funeral (who died at 42 from a massive heart attack). I expected him to go with me. He and his whole family did not go, did not send flowers, did not send a card. He said to me "I don't do funerals."

I had to have a minor hospital procedure and he drove me to the hospital front entrance and let me out. "I don't do hospitals."

Are people like this afraid of their emotions? Or do they just not care?

Probably afraid to deal with any emotions that made him feel uncomfortable.