Community Chat

[guatmum]

Marianne, I never said you devalued anyone. I made the point that your logic that if someone has never married then they cannot "fully understand" is the kind of logic that has been used to devalue the opinions of people historically. If you did not mean to show her opinion to have less value due to her inability to "fully understand" then why did you ask about her background? Obviously, you don't give as much credence to her opinion as you do if someone said she had been married all her life. Truth is, knowledge of long-term relationships and the emotional and practical intricacies they entail has nothing to do with marital status, especially in the last 50 years.

I don't think many, if any, have said that the OP should just dump her marriage without a thought. In fact, many of us who are single have pointed out that she may not have the social/emotional/financial skills and strength to live on her own after living so dependent on someone else for her entire adult life. But someone saying they can't imagine staying in a loveless marriage or not being able to relate to women who need a husband so much as to stay in one is as valuable an opinion from a single person as from a married one. That's why this is called Viewpoints.

[missy1]

OP, hire a handsome boy toy for house cleaning etc.

[biancardi]

I find it sad that the biggest reason to stay in a loveless marriage is...money.

women need to be more self sufficient.

[guatmum]

On 2/18/2014 pood said:

Aaannddd, another thread that has gotten so far off track from the original topic....

It stopped being about the OP pages ago.

Geesh.

Well, my guess would be that, unless the OP comes into the conversation fairly regularly, the thread will go as most conversations do in person. They all take on a life of their own for as long as the participants are motivated to let it. Not a big deal. If you're bored, there are a LOT of other conversations on the boards. It's not like you're stuck at the dinner table with us.

[pood1]

Just an observation there guatmum..

Simmer down.

[guatmum]

On 2/18/2014 missyw1 said: OP, hire a handsome boy toy for house cleaning etc.

OMG! I almost spit my coffee across the room!

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

On 2/16/2014 Lila Belle said:

Your sadness just oozes from your OP and I think the very fact that you're asking for opinions here on a forum means that your marriage is most probably over. And I don't mean that in a snarky way.

You got some very thoughtful responses.

I wish you the best of luck.

ITA...

[Catitude]

On 2/18/2014 croemer said:

I agree Opurrra, the age thing is a really tuff one. Then there is the lack of jobs. Her husband may not be perfect but sounds like he is basically a good man who does try to do things for her. I know many women whose husbands gave up trying to please the wife, work on the marriage and are down right selfish.

I just say she should consider all options...take her time to think this thru and maybe some counseling to make darn sure this is what she wants.

HiYa Croemer. I agree. She needs to consider all her options.

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

Never mind...

[------]

On 2/18/2014 biancardi said:

I find it sad that the biggest reason to stay in a loveless marriage is...money.

women need to be more self sufficient.

The reality is you can live without love but you cannot live without money.

A big mistake in a relationship is to put one's pride first. I'm not saying this is the OP's case but I've seen many a relationship fail because one partner is too proud to compromise. Most everything can be negotiated.

I agree women do need to be more self sufficient.