Community Chat

[Marienkaefer2]

I agree with both biancardi and kitty.

[EmmaBunting]

On 2/16/2014 Marienkaefer2 said:

I agree with both biancardi and kitty.

I don't think there is any one, universally right answer, here, Marien. Not knowing the situation firsthand, I think many are just counseling the OP to not rush into anything without getting counseling.....and trying her hardest to make it work. 36 years is a lot of years to just throw away without a lot of consideration. Those of us who have been married a long time realize that there are times we may all feel that way.....yet stay and try to make our marriages work. Marriages are full of ups and downs. That's why they make it hard to just walk away at the first sign of discontent.

the OP did say her husband was a great guy and would do anything for her. There's something to be said for that.

Of course, if he were abusive....either mentally or physically.......that would be another story entirely!

[------]

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

Nothing is as lonely as living with someone you don't love or want to be with.

Until you get ill and have no one to care for you.

They say getting old isn't for sissies. I say getting old and being alone is only for the strongest among us. You have to be as tough as nails to live that life.

[evelomaddict]

sometimes people fall out of love. it's never too late to find your own happiness.

[QueenDanceALot]

On 2/16/2014 ------ said:

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

Nothing is as lonely as living with someone you don't love or want to be with.

Until you get ill and have no one to care for you.

They say getting old isn't for sissies. I say getting old and being alone is only for the strongest among us. You have to be as tough as nails to live that life.

Personally, I wouldn't be willing to live with someone I don't want to be with because I might get ill and have no one to care for me.

That's no life, not for me anyway.

[KathyPet]

I think a marriage of that length deserves some investment in time before declaring it dead. you loved him once and perhaps could again. I would suggest joint counseling. I that doesn't work I would move onto a trial separation. You may find you are better off with him then without him or vice versa but I. Think some effort on both your parts is called for.

[QueenDanceALot]

I guess that I'm just accepting that the OP means what she says, that she wants a separation or divorce and that she no longer loves her husband.

[EmmaBunting]

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 2/16/2014 ------ said:

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

Nothing is as lonely as living with someone you don't love or want to be with.

Until you get ill and have no one to care for you.

They say getting old isn't for sissies. I say getting old and being alone is only for the strongest among us. You have to be as tough as nails to live that life.

Personally, I wouldn't be willing to live with someone I don't want to be with because I might get ill and have no one to care for me.

That's no life, not for me anyway.

I'm sorry, kitty...I don't recall if you are married or not...or for how long, if you are. But, if you've been married a long time....haven't there been times that have been up and times that have been down in your relationship? Sometimes I swear...I was ready to walk out. Then he did something sweet and I fell in love all over again.

I'm glad they don't make it too easy to just walk away. Sometimes......hanging in there is well worth it.

[QVC Shopper]

This thread is almost verbatim to another started some time ago.

[biancardi]

On 2/16/2014 ------ said:

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

Nothing is as lonely as living with someone you don't love or want to be with.

Until you get ill and have no one to care for you.

They say getting old isn't for sissies. I say getting old and being alone is only for the strongest among us. You have to be as tough as nails to live that life.

my mother is a widow - has been since 1983. You don't need to be married in order to have someone care for you. You don't need to be living with someone else in order to have people care for you.

I would never want to be married to someone or be in a relationship with someone that I did not love (heck, may not even like) just because I am afraid of being alone

It is tough, but you do find ways to make friends and relationships outside of a marriage. I find that many people depend TOO much on their spouse and when their spouse is not around, they have no clue on what to do anymore.