Community Chat

[evelomaddict]

On 2/16/2014 BaileyandBella said:

I honestly think at your age, you REALLY need to think about the future/elderly years. I have known several people that have developed Alzheimers in their early 60's. Aging issues could be right around the corner.

Maybe if you never fix your marriage, you can make an agreement to stay together as "roommates" and at least be there to help each other as you age.

59 isn't considered old any longer. people live well into their 80's and 90's without ever having alzheimers.

[Burnsite]

I am single and enjoy it, but I think you may find you miss a partner of so many years, father of two of your children.

Anyway (this based on my friends who have sought divorces) _crunch the financial numbers_ really carefully and figure out where you will live if you seek a divorce. As a single lady (happily, too) I can still tell you that there are punishing tax and soc. sec. penalties for not being married. Still worth it to me, but you should think long and hard, as I would guess there is far more of a bond there than you see just at this moment.

[evelomaddict]

how are your finances? the first step would be to find your own place and then go from there.

[deepwaterdotter]

Hope this doesn't have anything to do with your not liking how you looked in your family Christmas photo or the proportion of the rooms in your home.

[Oneanddone]

On 2/16/2014 ------ said:

You better think long and hard about what life will be like as a single woman at 59 especially after being married as long as you have. I'm not saying you won't be happy on your own. I am saying life isn't all sunshine and rainbows when you've been depending (yes, depending) on someone else for almost 4 decades.

Good luck to you.

Agree with this completely.

Be careful what you wish for.

Good luck to you, and be prepared to pay those attorneys a LOT of money.

[Rooney1]

Divorce is a very complicated thing and can have many unintended consequences.

The first thing is that I would recommend is that you go and get some good solid counciling. Divorce is never anything to just jump into, so speaking to someone who isn't emotionally invested in you and can give you a netural opinion and help you process all the angles is always a good idea.

Good Luck!

[QueenDanceALot]

I find it sad that someone would not go for what happiness they might find because they *might* not find it, or it might be *worse* than what they have now (that they don't want).

[biancardi]

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

I find it sad that someone would not go for what happiness they might find because they *might* not find it, or it might be *worse* than what they have now (that they don't want).

agreed.

abbyK, what I would suggest is to seek counseling for yourself and then work from there. Your counselor will be able to help you understand all of the paths that are in front of you.

Divorce can be scary, but staying in an unhappy marriage is also scary.

[QueenDanceALot]

Nothing is as lonely as living with someone you don't love or want to be with.

[evelomaddict]

On 2/16/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

I find it sad that someone would not go for what happiness they might find because they *might* not find it, or it might be *worse* than what they have now (that they don't want).

this!