Community Chat

[neineih]

The electricity goes out, the car won't start, the cat throws up and the dog runs away, on the morning that you're already running late for work, and it's your annual review!

Nobody ever gets lost, in a strange city, in a neighborhood where some guy in a Mercedes will offer to help.

You're the only person on the planet who gains weight eating broccoli, and you Know that your Weight Watchers leader is talking about You, when she talks about being honest with yourself. It wouldn't be so bad, if you'd at least had the fun of cheating, but, you Didn't.

You take your week long vacation to Hawaii or San Diego or Phoenix or Vegas or Florida, and watch the nightly news speculating about what's caused the worst weather in 100 years; meanwhile, back home, they're getting the weather you thought you'd have on vacation!

Your spouse doesn't look twice at your $150 Victoria's Secret lingerie ensemble, but, the night you're coming down with a cold, have had a day from H el l, at work, and just want to curl up in a ball of misery, wearing your ratty old college t-shirt, he's Mr. Amore!

You break your leg After you buy the non-refundable airline ticket, season ski pass, or pre-paid, no changes can be made, vacation package.

The morning you remember that you forgot to get coffee, and run to the store, looking like an escapee from the State Mental Hospital, you come face to face with the nastiest harpy you know, who will, no doubt, take great glee in telling everybody that she ran into you, and you appear to be in the final stages of some dreadful disease. Being a nasty harpy, she won't even bother to give you credit for trying to be a braveheart and still get out and about!

The only people that ever find you on Facebook are (a) people you don't remember, no doubt for good reason (b) people that you remember only too well, if only you could forget them (c) people that you know you never knew, but, they insist you did(you're pretty sure you never lived in Indianapolis, since, you've never been to Indiana) - all of the above, will now send you endless invitations to grow farms, build cities, and play goofy games.

Your one attempt at a dating site, resulted in a match up with a 15 years younger, Vegan, card carrying Peta member, who nearly burst into tears at the sight of your leather purse, spent the evening lecturing you about animal rights and insisted on ordering you a meal that would you show you "the right way" ,didn't appreciate your joke about being allergic to the dandelions that appeared to be in your main dish, and confessed that he shouldn't have joined the dating site, because he might be ga y.

Booze encased in Jello just seems wrong!

Your boss seems to lose the ability to give clear, consise, easy to understand directions, when talking to you.

You have the uncanny ability to cause any restaurant to mess up your order; sometimes, twice!

You like the gravy more than the turkey.

You just can't get into wearing light up Christmas earrings

You actually think your neighbors German Shephard looks ridiculous dressed like a Pumpkin, and you're pretty sure that his snarling might mean that he does too.