Community Chat

[ValuSkr]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

My mother told me that it's better to do as you wish and apologize after than to ask permission before. I thought it good advise so that's what I do. 

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The H.R. Manager at my last job believed in that approach too.  She got in big trouble!  Hopefully she learned not to apply that philosophy at work.

[ValuSkr]

The British are well-known apologizers.  This article explores that phenomenon, noting that women in general - not just British women - are thought to apologize more than men.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160223-why-do-the-british-say-sorry-so-much

[Deanie]

@ValuSkr@occasionalrain  I believe that is the current philosophy that dominates today's thinking. It has now reduced apologies to be meaningless.

[kivah]

It's the women who are always apologizing -- for nothing!!! We used to be the weaker sex!!! Things have sure changed. We don't want to offend anyone. You know, political correctness!!!!

[puttypiesmom]

When I didn't hear what someone just said or need clarification I will say, "sorry?"  instead of "pardon?"  Just a habit.  Also, if someone is not feeling well I will say I'm sorry.  If someone has a terrible illness I'll say I'm so sorry you're going through that.  My husband is the same way even though we don't associate with the same friends and had no background together in a learned experience.  So I guess it's pretty common when used like that.  

[faeriemoon]

I no longer do this. "Please move the shopping cart.  Thank you."

I also no longer offer excuses why I can't do something.  "Unfortunately, I can't." is enough.

[jeanlake]

My observation - sometimes it's nervous habit to say 'I'm sorry." A man I work with is a people pleaser who walks on eggshells. I've seen him bump into a chair and apologize. I think others notice it more than he does.      

[fancy pantsy]

i say that all the time! 

[NYC Susan]

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@QVCkitty1 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

I think you shouldn't typecast and stereotype people.  Men do and women do should be "people do." 

I know men who would apologize and women who would simply drop dead before they would ever apologize for anything they did.  I grew up with one. So I don't think it's a gender thing.  I think it is about personality. 

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I don't agree, in my experience men rarely apologize, even when they should.

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In my experience, many men do apologize.  Some do, some don't, the same as women.  Obviously all of our experiences are different, and it comes down to the people we've known and the people we know.  But I wouldn't say that men rarely apologize.  That hasn't been my experience at all.

[NYC Susan]

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@Big Joanie wrote:

I actually find myself apologizing for stuff I'm not even guilty of .....

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Me too!

Just today, I came home from a long, difficult day to find someone parked in my parking space. (There's a sign, so it's clear it's not a public parking space.)  She was sitting in her big SUV, taking up the entire space and then some, so I honked and waved to indicate that she was in my space.  She either didn't understand or didn't want to move, and it took a few minutes for her to finally pull out.  I was annoyed, but for some reason as I passed her open window, I said, "I'm sorry.  That's my space."  And she said, "That's okay". 

As I walked away, I realized how ridiculous it was that I apologized to her.  And that she forgave me.  For what!  I did nothing wrong.  She should have apologized to me - Certainly in the same situation, if I were her, I would have apologized for parking in her space.  But there I was, saying I was sorry.  It was by far not the worst thing that happened to me today, but it made me realize how often I probably do that.

Thank you for letting me vent!  I'm sorry my post is so long!  :-)