Community Chat

[LilacTree]

Okay . . . some of you may know that my oldest daughter and her sister (my third daughter) have been estranged for over ten years, and as the result of this my oldest daughter and I were estranged also.

I saw my oldest daughter in early January.  She came in for a short visit when she was taking the daughter I live with out to dinner for her birthday, and texted me would I like her to come in to say hello.  Of course I said yes.  That was the first time we had seen each other in almost ten years.  So, although it is very fragile, we are no longer estranged.

I discussed that with my third daughter and she was fine with it, and said I have a right to see all of my children.  However, my oldest daughter and her grown children were not at the party yesterday.  I asked the daughter I live with if she had been invited and she said no.  I expressed that I thought that was wrong and she should have been invited.

So today, I had three surprise visitors.  My oldest daughter, and her two grown children, my granddaughter whom I see several times a year and everyone knows that, and my grandson whom I have not seen since he was 15 and he is 30 now (this is mostly because he went to live with his father in Delaware).  We had a long visit and I was thrilled to see my grandson.  Boy can he talk!! . . . . it was not awkward at all.

My oldest daughter still seems a little distant, but we are making headway.  Everything went well, we made a fire and had a long lunch here, and the talking never stopped.  The situation of them not being at the party yesterday was never mentioned.

So I finally have my whole family back, except I can guarantee that it will always have to be separately.  I can accept that and it seems they do also.

I will not hesitate to tell my third daughter that they visited me today.  And she will be fine with it.  I will wait a little while though because I don't want to spoil her glow about the party yesterday and how hard she and her two sisters worked to make it such a happy time for me.  And I will bring it up casually at a time when it will make the most sense.

At least I can have a relationship with all of my children and grandchildren now.  I realize I will not see my oldest daughter as often as I see my third daughter . . . but I'll take whatever I can get.  It's far better than it was.

[Jordan2]

@LilacTree, I'm happy for you that you will now have a relationship with all your children and grandchildren. It is sad that you lost ten years with your oldest daughter, I don't of course know the details, but a mother shouldn't have to choose between her children. Life is short, I hope your daughters will one day be able to reconcile.

[LilacTree]

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@Jordan2wrote:

@LilacTree, I'm happy for you that you will now have a relationship with all your children and grandchildren. It is sad that you lost ten years with your oldest daughter, I don't of course know the details, but a mother shouldn't have to choose between her children. Life is short, I hope your daughters will one day be able to reconcile.

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@Jordan2

A reconciliation will never happen between these two.  But I will fall back on my favorite movie quote, courtesy of Bette Davis.  "Let's not ask for the moon when we already have the stars."  "Now Voyager" with Paul Henreid.

[Q4u]

I am so very happy for you  and believe that your entire family will blossom under these new dynamics. There really isn't anything more powerful than love and family...   

[dex]

@LilacTree how does this stuff happen.We love our children beyond description and still something goes wrong and it seems so difficult to mend.I am so happy to hear that you are able to r3connect with those you haven’t seen in years.I love my son beyond words and it would be my saddest day if we had relationship problems.

i am really and truly happy for you.This really is your birthday gift.

[Annabellethecat66]

@LilacTree I am so happy your family realizes what we here have known.  That you are a lovely person and should be loved and honored as mother, grandmother and family member.

Thanks for letting us know what's going on.  I am always happy to hear when families love and support each other.  

I truly think GOD expects that of us.  Thanks again.  Annabelle/Linda

[SXMGirl]

@LilacTree, how wonderful that you were able to spend time with your oldest daughter and your grandchildren.  

[cbrite]

I am so thrilled for you @LilacTree !!!

[Desertdi]

How wonderful for you!!!!    (Usually, when somebody surprises me.....it's NOT good.)

[Nataliesgramma]

So happy for you!