Community Chat

[SusieElizabeth]

Some of you may remember that me telling my adoption story and how I was trying to decide if I wanted try to make contact with them.
As some of you many remember I was adopted at birth and I have absolutley no info on my birth parents expect for the fact that they had brown hair and brown eyes, were both 5'8 and were of French heritage.
I have spent the last 26 years wondering about them, wanting to meet them....ect. Then once I turned 18 and could legally appeal to the courts to open my case I back peddled a little. I kept going back and forth in my head about whether on I wanted to meet them for various reasons. Then last week my parents got a call form the adoption agency that my birth parents grandparents wanted to meet me. I was in utter and complete shock. But since they opened the door per say I agreed to do it. I called the agency back and spoke to the case manager. She said that since it was a close adoption all she could tell were my parents first names. I dont know if you will remember this but my birth father disappeared when my mom got pregnant her abandoned her and had a year to come forward after my birth and never did his name was Clifford. Then she informed that my birth moms name was Christine. And that I would have to appeal to the courts to open my records to get more info I can have a mediated three way phone call with the case manger and my grandparents but I cannot give away any relieving details. Like my last name and where I live and such. I am allowed to say my first name is Susie, I have three kids, have been married almost 8 years. But I cant give them my last name or tell them I live in Ohio I have to say I live in the Midwest.
Now here come the hard part. she also informed me that my mom passed away in 2005. That really has messed me up. Knowing that I will never get to meet her and wondering why she died so young. Never knowing if I was like her or being able to tell her how much I admire her, how much respect for her I have, how grateful I am to her...ect.
This last month has been really hard on me and not just because of this. I wont bore you with all the details but I could use alot of prayer right now.
I have made the decision to proceed contacting my grandparents.