Community Chat

[Malcontent]

He came home with his older brother. He came into the kitchen with his older brother and sat silent for a while as I cooked. Then he said:

Paraphrasing:

Son: Mom do you know what a bucket list is?

Me: I think so. It’s when you want to do something and you do it and check it off?

Son: Yes and…I had something on my bucket list and it’s checked off. It’s done. Over. Understand, mom?

Me: Yup.

Son: Do you have any questions?

Me: I do. Do you want baked or mashed potatoes with dinner?

Son: Smiles and gets up and hugs and kisses me on forehead.

Me: I then throw he and his brother out of my kitchen like normal.

I know some are thinking how cold of me. You know, I was so afraid my boy would leave so I talked to him like I always do and it turned out (so far) pretty good.

Life is okay in our family and most importantly for my boy.

I want to say Thank You All for all your comments. I’ve come to realize I don’t owe the birthmother anything albeit to love the gift of my boy.

[KLm]

I haven't read the earlier posts about this. I must have missed it.

Seems to me you gave your son the love and confidence and stability to do what he needed to do, and had the belief in yourself that you were doing the right thing. 

Some of the hardest work of being a parent.

[Malcontent]

@KLm 

 Thank You.

My son went to meet his birthmother and I found out through his older brother.

I think my adopted son (I never call him that except to explain things here) needed to know. Understand? When I found out I was both afraid he’d leave me (selfish I know) and I felt I owed her something. My eldest boy said she was not in good shape so I said to my husband we should give her money and my husband was H_ll No!

My boy did give his birthmother a chunk of change and then walked away from her.

I will always be grateful to her for her gift, but my boy is done with her and I do respect that and that’s that.

[Love my grandkids]

@Malcontent You handled it perfectly. I love it. And it's obvious your son loves you and that's all that matters. 

[Malcontent]

@Love my grandkids 

Thank You for saying that.

Bless You.

[Linmo]

@Malcontent Not only did you do the right thing, but your (adopted) son did what was right for him as well.  You raised a good kid!

[roeroe1005]

You raised him right!

He needed to deal with this on his own or it would always be with him.  

Very happy for your family. 

[Malcontent]

@roeroe1005 

Thank You.

His Pops (my husband) said the same thing. ‘He needs to deal with this on his own’. It was really hard to step back (a lot) and let my boy be and deal with this serious issue on his own.

[Malcontent]

@Linmo 

Thank You so very much,

[Porcelain]

Sounds like you handled this brilliantly, @Malcontent. Sometimes a light touch is the best. I have such a hard time doing that, and you did it really well.

And the way you presented it here, I'll just say that if you ever write a play I hope I get to see it.